Everyone has, and is, a mentor–officially or not and whether or not you realize it. A mentor, in the most basic sense, is someone who has an influence on you—or similarly, the influence you have on someone. Today, I’m not getting into the official or technical connotation of mentor. You are a mentor, regardless of any formal or informal agreement. Someone looks to you for something you do or how you act—they admire your uniqueness. In this realm, you hold vast influence now and for some time in the future for that person.

For example, remind yourself of “old Mr. Shorty,” the school lawnmower guy when you were in third grade. He always oiled, cleaned, and adjusted its blade before carefully starting the engine. Now as an adult, you find yourself doing the same before you mow your own lawn. Mr. Shorty was a mentor to you—tell him so sometime, preferably sooner than later. Tell your other mentors too if they are still alive.

One day you happen to be in your neighborhood bookstore. A young woman is paying for her book. While you are still in line you notice she sits at a table nearby. She gets out her book and opens it carefully. Alternatively, from one cover to the other, she glides her finger through sections, then opens it to read. A memory flashes in your mind. You walk over and introduce yourself, saying, “How did you learn to prepare that book so as to avoid breaking its spine?” She says, “Oh, I saw you do that when I bought a book at a store where you worked, years ago.” You were unaware, but you had mentored her.

The same thing often happens with negative results; someone sees a behavior or an attitude that is mean, dishonest, or just plain inappropriate, certainly not the influence we would intend to make. We cannot unsee what we have seen, nor unhear what we have heard. Certain things may influence us in extremely negative or destructive ways and are exceedingly difficult to unstick from our psyche. When those actions create mental health issues, they spill over into our interpersonal relationships. Professional help may be necessary.

Jesus, and later, Henry James emphasizes that whatever we think about most, we become. Think of it in terms of an acronym from the earliest computer days; GIGO-Garbage In Garbage Out. Memory–the built-in mentor.

©Copyright Willis H. Moore 2026