Is there a Hole in your Heart? Many people have that heart-hole. No, it is not an actual hole in the human heart; even surgery cannot repair this hole. This hole is a metaphor for a significant absence of appreciation, love, or acceptance, The biblical image of that hole is the missing “Blessing,” —as in Esau. The missed Blessing may be caused by one or both parents. It could be that the parent may not realize they withheld the Blessing. We will get to that later.
A college classmate of Paige’s missed out on copious benefits during her four years of college. I believe that her native microenvironment gives a significant clue; she never received “The Blessing” from her parents. She attended all her classes and made superb grades. She never went out on a date, or out with her friends for a treat—or attended campus or any other entertainment. When invited out she always refused, saying “No. I can’t do that. My parents are making great sacrifices so I can get a good education. I have to stay here and study.” Classes, meals, library, and dormitory, comprised her world for four years. She was graduated with accolades. I do not know how her life turned out. But I am 99.44% sure that however it turned out, she still had that hole in her heart —that absence of “The Blessing” from her parents.
Maybe you know someone like that—maybe a friend; someone driven to succeed far beyond anyone’s expectations; yet living with that hole-in-the-heart —longing for ‘The Blessing’ that never comes. Success, fame, financial security, none of which satisfies or fills that hole. There is a term sociologists use that comes pretty close to describing what the withheld Blessing does to a person’s soul. The term, microaggression; it means a comment or action that subtly and often unconsciously—even unintentionally—expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member (oranyone) of a marginalized group (Merriam-Webster). In the case of Paige’s (or your) friend—however it came to pass—that person grows up feeling diminished, or worse, unwanted.
Unfortunately, a person with that “hole-in-the-heart” may not recognize it, or may not recognize what it is doing to their soul; mabe feeling too threatened by it to reach out to find suitable sublimations. The first step in dealing with a problem is to recognize the problem. The next step is to find healthy means—in this case, to heal the hurt. Of course if your friend is so afflicted, it is likely a blind spot—unable to see; encouragement alone won’t solve that. As Ray Stevens sang, “…there is none so blind as he who will not see…”
Now, back to Esau; The Old Testament patriarch Isaac, had twin sons Jacob and Esau. As the story goes, even while they were being carried in their mother’s womb they started fighting. As they grew up, it got worse. Esau was supposed to get his Blessing from his father, Isaac. But through a contrived, conniving, subterfuge, initiated by their mother Rebekah, it was hijacked. Remarkably, Rebekah’s flim flam worked like a charm. Jacob got the Blessing instead. Esau was furious. For years his life, though successful in worldly goods, was hollow and desolate. The good news is that both brothers, being quite successful —having come to terms with their past had—eventually—a congenial reconciliation.
This hole in your heart can heal. Sometimes it takes time. It always takes a willingness to face and deal with it. Successful healing brings with it, well, significant Blessings.