Solitude vs. loneliness. There is a difference. Both have to do with being alone, cut off from society, or isolated. Each, solitude or loneliness can be a choice. Choosing to be alone may not make you feel lonely; as in choosing to pursue something requiring deep concentration. Nor must being forced into solitude, as imprisoned, exact loneliness. Choosing to enter a spiritual retreat does not mean entering into loneliness. Both can be choices—either can develop into a deep sense of joy—it depends on the only thing you can control; your attitude.
Taylor Leamey is a writer about wellness, mental health, sleep, and nutrition. The deeper he digs into these matters, he is convinced that loneliness can have health benefits. Neither solitude nor loneliness should steal your joy. Nor does forced solitude per se mean one’s joy intrinsically is stolen. I think of Nelson Mandela, who was imprisoned for 27 years—18 of which were in solitary confinement. Coming out of confinement, Mandela’s leadership became key to negotiating an end to apartheid in South Africa. He chose not to be lonely.
Melanie, my daughter, plans and executes spiritual retreats where participants choose to enter solitude, away from their busy, hectic lives. They seek solitude, and in such experiences find deep, inner joy. Such opportunities help many people cope with the erratic ebb and flow of their life experiences. You, dear reader—if you have read this far—may not find such a choice appealing. Many, however do find that times of chosen solitude removes them not only from the fray of hectic life, but also delivers them from the onset of loneliness.
In a few weeks, Christians the world over will begin celebrating the beginning of the Christian year in observing Advent. Many Christians in Advent, a time of prayer, fasting, and spiritual renewal— will choose periods of solitude for fasting and prayer.
Neuroscientists have discovered the “default network” of the brain—the part of the brain at work when we are not purposefully engaged in other tasks—(it is) one of the most important recent discoveries in neuroscience. Having a “quiet time” or a personal day apart are ways that help this default network function. I have a pastor-friend who was beginning to feel that her life had become out of balance (my term). She signed into a retreat center down in South Georgia for solitude. She said that almost as soon as she entered the campus, she began to feel weight lifted and renewal beginning.
Anti-Christian persecution under the Roman emperor Domitian caused St John to be exiled to the Greek Island of Patmos. In solitude of exile, he refused to let loneliness overtake him. As a result we have The Book of Revelation—the message of which is “God will win.” It is rife with encouragement, hope, and courage, making the early Christians intrepid in the face horrifying atrocities of Roman persecutors.
Although Daniel is not always considered a Prophet, he does stand tall, firm, and powerfully influential to readers of The Old Testament. When King Darius learned that Daniel was not obeying his law, he had Daniel thrown into a pit with Lions… and sealed Daniel in with them—talk about isolation! Yet Daniel did not feel solitude or lonlieness. Instead he turned his focus to God, whom he had faithfully worshipped all his life.
Martin Luther King, Jr. was thrown into jail numerous time for civil disobedience. It was from the solitude of prison that he penned the ground-breaking “Letter from the Birmingham Jail.” It is considered by many to have laid the foundation for opening a pathway for the emerging Civil Rights Movement. Solitude vs. Loneliness. There is a difference, and that difference is choice.
©Copyright Willis H. Moore 2023
We need to discuss this Monday