Ode to obituaries

This is not about a particular person; it is about discovery. I often find myself dismayed for not having paid more attention to the subject of an obituary. Thoughts like, “I could have been a better friend to…” “He and I had so much in common…” Or, “If I had known this about him, I could have introduced him to…,it would have meant a world to both.”

Almost everytime I read an obituary of someone I knew, the obituary reveals a multi-faceted person; often, as it turns out, I didn’t know the person, really. Times like these can lead to good self-evaluation exercises. It gives you a chance to question your relationships; how you reach out to people, or how you respond to those who reach out to you.

Typically, I only turn to obituaries when I learn of the death of someone I knew. Some people say they read obituaries daily— to make sure their name isn’t there! 😮 they say in jest. But this isn’t about someone dying; it’s about someone living. Not anyone in particular; maybe a friend, or an acquaintance, or a member of your church or club.

Some Psychologists and other writers suggest that for an exercise in self discovery, write your own obituary; not the real one. The exercise is to help you reflect on your values; what and who you cherish. What you say “No” to; in itself is something of a definition of your character. This exercise in writing your obituary is not a venture into the macabre. It is one way to get something of a perspective on your life, or how you view your life. As joni Mitchell sang, “You don’t know what you’ve got, till it’s gone…”

At the risk of stretching the point I think of Psalm 8; David wrote, When I look up at your skies, at what your fingers made, the moon and the stars that you set firmly in place—what are human beings that you think about them; what are human beings that you pay attention to them? Writing your obituary could offer some perspective on your life; how you reflect on the worth of your life. If you happen to be “down” on yourself, Psalm 8 can offer positive reflection.

It is not stretching it to pay attention to the teachings of Jesus. He put great worth in God’s creation of human beings. On one occasion he said we are worth more than a sparrow. Two sparrows sold for a farthing —which means one sparrow was worth 1/8 of a penny—and not one sparrow falls to the earth without God caring about it. That kinda puts your value way up there!

The Apostle Paul gives sound advice for the focus of your obituary (though that was not his point); Don’t cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself or your importance, but try to have a sane estimate of your capabilities by the light of the faith that God has given to you all. He calls on you to claim what God has given you so that you may be a benefit to others. Most of us want to leave a legacy; how much more important it is to leave a living legacy. Paige, my late wife, wanted to leave her living legacy in this way; she called it her “Ethical Will.” ( So you don’t have to scroll all the way down the “Archive” the text is below).

Paige’s Ethical Will

I, Paige Moore, being of sound mind, desire to leave to generations to come, my Ethical Will. I desire you, my reader, to know that…

…The love of my life, Willis Moore, my partner in marriage, attracted to each other since Georgia Teachers College days, find one lifetime not long enough.

…God’s gift of teaching to me was intended to serve Him in mission,

…The precious children of my youth, my legacy, are the pride of my latter years.

…My devotion to my church is the evidence of my faith.

…The cultivation of friends bears witness to His words: “As you have done it to the least of these you have done it unto me.”

…My present suffering is small cost to see my Master face-to-face.

…The children of my children, my grandchildren, are my true inheritance.

…My treasure, above all things, is Jesus my Lord and Savior.

…When I leave this life, I take nothing with me.  What I leave behind is of no monetary value. My legacy is the life I have poured into others, following my Master’s admonition.  I have done it to the least of these, thereby doing it unto Him.

Spoken by Paige Moore on this 20^th day of August 1918 and recorded by Willis Moore.

©Copyright Willis H. Moore 2022