Who in the world would oppose Mother’s day!? Anna Jarvis did. Yep. She’s the one that started the whole thing. What Jarvis thought would be a sweet time of celebration in her Methodist Church—families together, celebrating their mothers; but—it turned into a monster she fought the rest of her life. The problem? After Mother’s Day became a national holiday in 1914, it was hijacked by commercial interests; florists, confectioners, greeting card companies, and miscellaneous merchants (such as automobile dealers!) jumped onto the juggernaut. Jarvis spent the rest of her life fighting her ill-fated vision with lawsuits, lectures, and labor-intensive personal opposition to—Mother’s Day. I understand her concern.
In my days as a pastor, I was often conflicted about Mother’s Day Sunday. Let me be clear; there is nothing in the Bible about Mother’s Day. It is not a religious holiday. No Christian tradition mentions it. Mother’s Day is a secular phenomenon of the 20th Century. And—Jesus, at least on a few occasions, actually seemed to spurn his own mother. His warmest, most compassionate comment concerning his mother was from his cross. He asked his most trustworthy disciple, John, to take care of Mary, his own mother.
My pastoral conundrum about Mother’s Day, beyond its lack of religious significance, has to do with its social/psychological impact. In every congregation there were—mothers who had lost a baby at birth, had recently come from the funeral of a child, who were barren mothers whose fruitless efforts for conception yielded nothing, children whose mothers had abandoned them, or severely abused them,—and on it goes. You can understand how any of those might feel, as the sermon subjected them to a saccharine “Mother’s Day” message. So, my conundrum, having no scriptural basis for Mother’s Day, amplified my concern about causing emotional pain. Somehow, I managed to survive (barely) my pulpit positions without resorting to doubletalk.
Mother’s Day is not the only celebration hijacked by commercial interests; Halloween (yes, its core is from religion), Christmas, St. Patrick’s Day, Easter, to some degree, Passover, and Hanukkah, to mention a few. And, non religious holidays, like Thanksgiving Day, New Year’s Day, and Independence Day, suffer a similar fate. All of the above have virtually become automated teller machines for the $$$$ game.
Full disclosure; I appreciate, and I celebrate, Mother’s Day. It is a sweet, family time for me. Even though my mother died decades ago, and the mother of my children died over two years ago. Mothers matter. My grandchildren love their mother! We celebrated and will continue to celebrate the day, the memory, and the joy of, Mother’s Day.
So where does all this leave us? This piece is not an attack on Mother’s Day. It is simply something of an alert. Celebrate Mother’s Day intentionally. Elaborate, expensive gifts are not only unnecessary, they are beside the point. I have often visited church members—especially in healthcare and senior living facilities; too often I have found a clutter of useless glittery gifts, which are basically in the way and poor substitutes for loving presence (not presents!); a personal visit, meaningful phone calls, or other direct expressions of love and care would be genuine expressions of love.
Unfortunately, the Genie cannot be put back into the bottle; the hinges of Pandora’s box are broken; it remains open. Which leaves us to avoid, where can—or want to—the commercial coup of your celebration. You can choose to inject personal love and meaning into your celebration.
Maybe your mother is gone, or lives far away on the day—so you can’t make a personal visit; you probably know a mother who will be lonely or forgotten on the day. Reach out to her in a compassionate way. On a related matter, as a compassionate friend, be understanding of those for whom the mention of motherhood is a trigger for sadness or grief. I think Anna Jarvis would likely smile on this way of celebrating Mother’s Day—it was, for the record, her original intent. ©Copyright Willis H. Moore 2022
I will email you an essay I wrote about 10 years ago entitled “Mother’s Day: Thanks Be To Hallmark.” It was during our years at Embry Hills UMC, and focused on the “awards” that were given at the Southern Baptist Church in which I grew up.