Growing up in Deepstep, with my little friends at church, we sang ,”I have the Joy, Joy, Joy, down in my heart…”. We had no idea what it meant, nor could we—at that age. But it was a fun song with repetition and a bouncy tune. We sang with gusto. Not long ago I was in a conversation with some friends, one of whom was being bullied in a relationship. One person in the group offered what I thought was excellent advice; “Don’t let him steal your joy,” she said, with compassion.
Sandra L Brown, is CEO of The Institute for Relational Harm Reduction and Public Pathology Education. She wrote in Psychology Today; Happiness is future-oriented and it puts all its eggs in someone else’s basket. It is dependent on outside situations, people, or events to align with your expectations so that the end result is your happiness. Happiness is something like a commodity that may be bought, sold, or stolen. It is external, subject to the wind, whims of others, or your own mood. Happiness is something like when a kid opens a Christmas gift; it may be tossed quickly aside, replaced, or shunned in an attempt to grasp another, shiny thing.
Brown goes on to say, …happiness is not joy (emphasis mine) because joy is not external, it can’t be bought and it is not conditional on someone else’s behavior. In fact, joy is not contingent on anything in order to exist. Joy, by its very nature has that deep down inner peace—-that is beyond human understanding. In turbulent times, sunny times, or when the road is rocky that peace holds steady.
Married couples can find that difference between happiness and joy. As they meet and get to know each other, they are finding happiness. As trust begins to grow between them joy develops. They are growing into the stage of self-actualization. Psychologist Abraham Maslow says it is the top of “The hiearchy of human needs;” the process of realizing and fulfilling your own potential, which can lead to personal growth and a meaningful life.
Happiness needs someone or something else for reference, and can fade or fall depending on that other person. Joy is more like an Oak tree, calm with secure roots of sinking deeply into clay earth reaching a constant source of nutrients feeding its life.
©Copyright Willis H. Moore 2025
Have a Great weekend
You described Joy. I think we all growing up like the song I got the Joy, Joy in my soul.
Have a good week.. glad you talked to Eugene, my sister Grace went to Cheryl Tanners wedding Sun. She saw Gene Renfroe and talked to him. Chery married Billy??? From Sandersville . Both of their spouses has been gone a long time.
Pl continue to pray baby Hank.
Respectfully Elaine