Today, August 20, is the anniversary of my marriage to Paige. Even though she died a year and a half ago, I celebrate the memory of her. I extol the joys, the jokes, the journey of nearly 57 years together, all of which created a marvelous love story. True, my celebration is not an occasion of hats and horns, music, and dancing. It is a satisfying recall of two lives together well lived.
Our marriage was not perfect. Paige was not perfect. I am not perfect. But my, oh my, oh my! how we felt God’s forgiveness, guidance, tolerance, and blessings through those years; blessings abounding far beyond what we could have hoped or imagined. From the beginning, we often said, “One lifetime will not be enough.” It wasn’t. Even through the onslaught of her devastating disease in her last few years; its physically harrowing degeneration of her body. She faced it all fearlessly, with overflowing faith, and joy in our nearness.
I still smile about some of my dumb doings Paige tolerated—and often redeemed. I wondered why she stayed with me—I usually said so. She always retorted with a wry grin, “I just couldn’t face training another one.” And, she did a yeoman’s job of training this “Sow’s Ear.” She took this scrawny kid (well I was—back then) out of Deepstep creek and did a better-than-fair job of polishing, pushing, and pouring good into him.
Paige’s Magnum Opus is our two daughters that she wrangled into adulthood—all the while teaching elementary school, earning her second masters degree, and making a marvelous home for us. Both daughters now have wonderful families, and careers in the “helping others” column; one a public school teacher and the other a published author. Each one with a masters degree in her own field and a marvelous infusion of Paige’s culinary skills; most of which they learned as they absorbed “The Paige Method”—especially each year at Christmas. Paige turned out Southern Living–quality open-house spreads, Sunday School parties, and birthday parties.
Celebrating my love life with Paige is one more way of healing my grief; John Pavlovitz said it better; When someone you love dies, there’s a part of you that dies too—the part of you that is pieced into the memories you both shared. You will always be the (husband)…but the relationship is forever changed. The memories are still there, but then comes the grief of not being able to relive those memories again—either in real-time or in stories. To have that person fill in the gap when the memory starts to fade. But it’s more than that. They knew you as a person and in ways that no one else will. There is grief in the loss of your shared story.
Today I rehearse our shared story, not with soppy sentiment, but with joy-filled memories—I rejoice in our shared story. Regrets cannot repair wrongs of the past; they only detract from and spoil the present. Hopes for the future are mere illusions. Yet memories can be cherished, becoming a finely appointed landscape of one’s interior self.
Paige carved out a cherished and indelible place in our home and lives. Large and little cubby holes and shrines populate my memories and those of our family. Pictures can help to recall, but memories are dynamic. Sometimes it is interesting—sometimes even funny— how our family remembers the same events differently; adding texture in sharing our journey. Today I celebrate those memories as Bob Hope sang—
Thanks for the memory
Of sentimental verse
Nothing in my purse
And chuckles
When the preacher said
For better or for worse
How lovely –(they are!) (written by Ralph Rainger and Lee Robin)
This is beautiful, Willis. Love you, Karen
Thank you, dear friend,
Karen!
Beautiful
Thank You Linda!
Willis, I could just picture Paige💕 Please keep doing your Friday stories. I love them and I love you🥰
Thank you Dianne!
What a lovely tribute to your marriage and to Paige. Thinking of you today Ann
Thanks Ann!
Beautifully said Willis!
Thank you Mary Lou!
Willis,
This tribute to Paige & your lives together will be a Blessing to many!
Thank You!
Toni
Thanks Toni!
Willis, I am a day late reading your tribute to Paige on your anniversary. I enjoyed it very much and can feel the love you all had. I can relate to all your feelings and we must hold on to all memories. Sending hugs and love to you my high school friend. 🙏🥰🇺🇸
Willis, I am a day late reading your tribute to Paige on your anniversary. I enjoyed it very much and can feel the love you all had and we must hold on to all memories. Sending hugs and love to you my high school friend. 🙏🥰🇺🇸