For full disclosure; Jennifer and I are “fostering”? a cat—Millie: she is a beautiful Siamese cat. Backstory; her parents could not afford essential, expensive eye surgery, and had to give her up. After a long rehab at the veterinarian’s rescue shelter, she was put up for adoption. It touched our hearts. So—we are fostering her for a while. We’ll see how Millie acclimates to our home. After surgery, staying for months recovering, and then our long trip (punctuated by noisy traffic), she is very cautious. Acclimation, we are told, may take a while.
Purina, the famous animal food (and everything animal) supplier, says, Cats love catnip because it makes them feel good. As your cat licks and rubs on the herb, the release of nepetalactone sets off a euphoric reaction. Scientists aren’t sure exactly why this happens, but many believe cats are responding to the nepetalactone as though it is a pheromone. I wondered if Catnip would help Millie. Today I bought a package of Catnip.
We hope Catnip will help Millie feel more welcome. I do not speak “Feline.” How do you communicate—for understanding—on both sides? I speak English—or a reasonable facsimile thereof. Millie speaks feline. Some day good communication will take place, I’m told. Jennifer, a teacher, says that even in the education environment a defined vocabulary is crucial for coalitions to have clear understanding of each other.
Can it be that part of the disparate condition of our current society is that we speak before we hear?—do we speak before listening with understanding—without taking in clearly what the other is saying—or worse, our not trying to understand? I think of the old story of a blacksmith teaching his apprentice; The old blacksmith said to his apprentice, “When I take this red-hot horseshoe out of the fire, and lay it on the anvil. I will nod my head. Then hit it with the hammer.” The apprentice did so. Now the apprentice is the village blacksmith.
Hearing without listening reminds me of a story in this vein Rev. Don Haynes liked to tell; A man on a curvy mountain road met a woman in a convertible driving driving very fast. He shouted to her, “Pig!!!” “Dog!” she shouted back, and immediately hit the huge wild hog in the road ahead. Kinda describes reactionary conversations we hear too often among non-listeners.
More than once in the New Testament, Jesus urged his followers to listen. A wag once said, ” God gave us two ears and one mouth, so that we should listen twice and speak once.” Jesus also taught his followers to speak in a straight forward manner. Avoid misrepresenting the truth, and keep a good spirit between each other. Also, the Apostle Paul often taught that we should speak in kind and loving ways so that harmony is maintained, or developed between each other.
To a great extent, you and I invite how others will respond to us—not entirely, but close enough that good communication is more likely to develop. Maybe there should be “Catnip” for people. No, not a package such as what I bought at the pet store today, but genuine listening can help others feel good—something like what Catnip does for cats.
©Copyright Willis H. Moore 2023
Hi, Willis!
Congratulations on fostering Millie! We happen to have two daughters who speak excellent “Cat” language. I will forward this to them and see if they can give you any assistance. In fact, Bonnie has indoor cats and what she calls “porch cats”. I’ll let her explain that!
Thanks for this delightful blog.
Thank you! I’m being patient, and it is paying off. Glad you liked the Blog post.
Welcome to the cat club! Millie is surely in good hands with you and Jennifer.
She will need time to get adjusted to her new home and a place where she feels safe and quiet. Cats don’t usually like loud noises. Speak softly to her, get some cat treats you can use to help her come towards you for gentle pets. Just go at her speed!
Art and I have a cat we adopted last summer; he’s just now getting more comfortable around us and now we can pet him, sometimes!
As mom said, we also have a couple cats that are feral/strays that we feed on our porch. I haven’t had much luck petting one of them! We only see them at dinner time!
I will keep Millie and you and Jennifer in my prayers for a good relationship to blossom and that she will soon be snuggling against you when you read/sleep or watch TV!
Thanks. Progress is being made. Most of this week Millie has slept with Jennifer, on her own volition; Yesterday she came and sniffed my hand—well, almost—within six inches. Then tonight a neighbor couple came over and Millie came in as if to welcome. After greeting Jennifer, she then came over—I draped my arm over the arm of my recliner and she rubbed her neck a bit, and let me scratch her head. She did that a lot during the evening. I’m surprised, and happy. More to come.
I agree, Willis! I am a better talker than a listener. I have to hold myself back from commenting before the person is finished. My mouth runs ahead of my brain and ears! 🧐
Well, at least you recognize it. Most of us don’t realize that in most cases, instead of iistening, we’re formulating what we are toing to say next—in reply or in addition. I’ve found you quite a reasonable listener.
Willis, you are good at everything to do