I was being trained as Church Consultant in Metro Atlanta; Melanie, my daughter was a reporter for a suburban daily newspaper in an adjacent city . My office was six hours away, therefore I stayed nights at her apartment during the training. I knew she didn’t make much money—beginning reporters typically don’t—I did help with groceries. My training event was to end near dinner time on the last day. I promised to take Melanie to a nice restaurant for dinner. She and I agreed to meet at the mall; she would be off from work by then.
My training event ended about five hours early; I took a book to read and wait at the food court. Melanie arrived as scheduled. She, a pretty, blond, young woman, looked sharp in her business suit; I, a middle-aged man, was dressed in a coat and tie. I stood up, hugged her, and said, “You look great! I love you!” (pause) “Wouldn’t you know it! my training event finished hours ago. If I had not left my clothes at your apartment, I would have driven home tonight.” Just as the words left my mouth, we both realized what this scene could could suggest; two little old ladies sitting at the next table sat with eyebrows raised, seeming to confirm it . Melanie and I kept straight faces until we got further down the mall—-then we erupted into hilarity; we relished those ladies’ assumption, thinking they had seen a juicy tryst.
People make assumptions abundantly; often wrong ones; some leave lasting, troublesome, results. It is likely that a wrong assumption started one of the most pernicious, enduring, feuds of all time. Genesis 27 tells about Isaac promising a blessing to Esau, his son; Isaac sent Esau on a hunting trip to bring back meat for making his favorite stew. Isaac promised to bless Esau before God. Jacob, Esau’s twin brother, pulled a clever switcheroo. With the help of his mother, Jacob camouflaged his skin and clothes to trick Isaac, his blind father. It worked; Old Isaac assumed he was blessing Esau, but it was Jacob who received the blessing. The descendants of the two brothers have been hostile at best and belligerent at worst for thousands of years since.
Most assumptions do not have such a paroxysm, social, or otherwise. Nevertheless, one treads on thin ice putting to much stock in an assumption. Jesus framed assumptions as judging; Matthew 7 “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get.” An old farm wife put it in a down-to-earth construct: “Wash your own windows first; don’t assume it’s your neighbor’s windows that are dirty.
I think the old Gospel hymn frames it poignantly, in a positive direction;
“Many have burdens too heavy to bear, Help somebody today! Grief is the portion of some everywhere, Help somebody today!” Wouldn’t our world be a much better place if we put these words into our daily actions!? Instead of looking for, or assuming the worst, be a helper instead.
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Thanks The food court story reminded me. I was in New York in the hotel reading the news paper. A little lady came over and said the old men sitting across the room were paying too much attention to me so she would sit with me. She may have assumed too much.
Such a good thought provoking message.
I enjoyed reading this post so much!I laughed out loud at the lead story, about your perceived “ tryst” with you own beautiful daughter at the mall. The more serious reflection on making assumptions is so true. We become judgmental and arrogant when we assume we have sized up a situation, but perhaps don’t know the whole story.