Archive

This archive includes several parts; 1) all of the “UPdates” that were written and sent as email messages to a list of family and friends. 2) Paige’s Ethical Will; 3) Every post I’ve made is accessible by opening the latest iteration then scroll down, to access every post from the past. I hope to set up an easier means.

The emails were sent each Friday from the time of Paige’s Parkinson’s Disease diagnosis in September 2016, through March 2020 when she died. The last entry in this Archive is the message from and link to the Service of Remembrance for Paige. It was conducted on April 7, 2020, via YouTube due to the shelter-in-place orders during the COVID-19 pandemic. In June 2020 the Fridays With Willis blog was launched.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

Here is my first Update on Paige.  They won’t always be lengthy. You had asked to be on this list, so here you are!  If you ever want to be removed, just send me a separate E-mail letting me know.

1. Paige had a relatively good week. Physical Therapy (PT) and Occupational Therapy (OT) seem to be helping, though progress is coming incrementally. It is not fun, but she’s taking it in good spirit.
2. The team is not letting her remain in bed much.  Though it is painful for her, they help her get up and sit in her wheelchair. During PT, she has used the parallel bars, and this week managed to turn around and go the opposite direction. A first. She learned to use a two-wheel walker a few minutes at a time.
3. There are assistive devices —some very creative— for folk with this disease.  This week she got her “Weighted Flatware” which helps steady her hand as she eats. Her right hand no longer shakes violently, possibly because of the specific medication. She also has a device that will help her put her socks on by herself, and a device to help her put on her pants.  She will learn to use these and other devices in due time.
4. She has been able to feed herself most of the meals this week, but she’s not ready to go on stage with it yet! Paige is a very proper lady, and I am happy to say that she rises above the indignities this disease causes and look with hope to the next level.
5. She is grateful for the many expressions of love, prayer, concern and support so many of you are giving.  I post on the wall each card that come— facing her so she can see and enjoy. I copied and pasted into a document the Facebook expressions from last week, and it is in her room, too.
6. We are very proud of and thankful for our daughters, Melanie and Jennifer.  As busy as they are with their vocations and families, they are pitching in and are intently focused on Paige.  Each one talks with her every day.  Jennifer has contributed immensely with hands on care. She fills in helping gather, sort, or obtain feminine garments, colors, —-all that stuff (and gentleness I lack) for Paige.  Melanie and Stephanie, in Texas, are handling tons of paperwork, medical guidance, appointment scheduling, and such.  So, we are so very blessed. —And, all of you, in your various ways, lend love, strength, and hope for this journey.

Thank you for your love and care. I’ve tried not to be too graphic, nor to bore you.  I’ll send another update sometime.  I won’t promise, but I’m thinking Fridays — so that those of you that want to pray for Paige at church, you will have something specific to pray for. We believe in specificity.  After we moved to a new church, Carole Bergman called Paige. “How do you like your kitchen?” she asked.  Paige said, “Oh! It is great.  But my kitchen window looks out into a neighbor’s yard that looks like a dump!” Carole said, “Oh. You forgot to be specific in your prayer!” 

That is a reason we like specific prayers.  God Bless and keep you all!!

Willis and Paige Moore

Friday, September 30, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

Today is Friday, so here is my second installment to update you on Paige.

First off, she had a relatively good week. We went to the Neurologist on Monday. He reaffirmed his diagnosis: Parkinson’s disease.  When he first saw her in the hospital, he made that diagnosis, and prescribed SINEMET® (carbidopa levodopa). She had unpleasant reactions; hallucinations, paranoia, and nightmares.  He exchanged it for a less effective but more tolerable drug. On Monday, he felt that her earlier dramatic chemical imbalance might have caused those reactions.  He wanted to try again, because Sinemet is thought to be the most effective drug for Parkinson’s. After the first dose, she “slept like a baby,” she said. So the doses continue with no apparent negative side effect.

Next, she is extending her steps with a 2-wheel walker, and today she walked into the hall and further down the way; A real improvement.  She has been able to feed herself several meals this week with little assistance, but for the assistive flatware.  She usually takes her meals in her room sitting in her wheelchair, or sitting in bed.

I have taped her greeting cards and notes on the wall in front of her bed (see picture below). She delights in seeing and reviewing each one, recalling each person, couple, or group that sent it. She has had some visitors from our church, Sunday School, class and Book Club.  And some phone calls, some from former classmates.  Every contact thrills her.

Paige’s mind is as sharp as ever.  I’ve joked that sometimes she remembers TOO much!  Well it is her body that won’t cooperate. And that is hard for someone so independent, creative, and active (formerly.) She has made several friends at the center, and did some impromptu counseling.  Our church, Embry Hills UMC, gave her a quilt. Knotted cords dangle on it where each knot represents where someone prayed for her and tied a knot during morning worship.  The Prayer Ministry at Peachtree Road UMC is praying for her and sent her a special prayer blanket. She deeply appreciates every prayer, and expression of love and oncern.

One has the tendency, in preparing an update such as this, to be too graphic, or to give more information than is desired.  So, if I’ve overstepped, I apologize.  Because we live with this 24-7, it is easy to do just that.

To you, our family and dear friends, thank you for your love, your prayers, and your many expressions of them.

With Love and appreciation,

Paige and Willis Moore

Below is today’s photo of her “Happy Wall”

Friday, October 7, 2016

Sunday after church, Jennifer came and did a partial facial for Paige.  It was a beautiful day to go outside.  I took Paige in her wheelchair outside and she adored seeing the leaves beginning to change.  We sat and watched the leaves, listened to the birds and enjoyed the Fall day.  We were able to do that a couple of days this week.  Monday she had a haircut, first time in about 8 weeks, and you ladies know how much that meant.

She continues weight lifting—not the Paul Anderson kind, just the 2 pound hand weights, to strengthen her arm muscles. She is taking more steps in the two-wheel walker. This week she walked down the slight incline toward the main hall.

Among her visitors this week was Toni Jernigan (as well as Bill).  Toni has arranged for their book club to meet at the Center—-a marvelous way to help keep Paige close to friends and social interaction.  Kim Hepler—one who has had up-close-and-personal experience in caregiving— came to visit, and gave us encouragement about the “one-step-at-a-time” journey.

The big news is that Paige moved to a private room.  She is more relaxed and thus able to control her tremors better—as well as to focus on improving body movements.  It is hard to realize that even in the same body, the mind commands a movement, but the body doesn’t respond to the message. But she tries anyway.

As you know, Paige is a determined person. I shouldn’t be, but am astonished at how upbeat her spirit is. When we moved out of her room, her 94- year-old roommate said she would miss us, that we ..”Laughed a lot, and were cheerful.”  What a commentary on one whose life has taken such a U turn!!!

I’m attaching another pic of her “Happy Wall”—which includes not only cards, but also letters and group signatures.  What it does not include is the many phone calls, E-mails and well wishes from so many of you.

I close with this; Our friend, Orvin Bergman wrote that he had a dream (and admitted that usually he doesn’t remember his dreams.)  He vividly recalled seeing a lady—walking upright, across the restaurant toward him, and spoke with him and Carole.  Suddenly, he realized it was Paige.  He said that the next day, the dream was still exceedingly vivid in his mind. He believes it was a vision. We believe that also.

Thank you for your prayers, encouragement and words of hope. This disease is so strange, so unpredictable, that your support means all the more to us.

God bless all of you.  We wish we could greet and hug each one of you, for you have shared our journey for so many years and are so dear to us!!

Love,

Paige and Willis

(Sorry for the shadows in the photo.  Next time I’ll use a flash camera, not my iPhone!)

Friday, October 14, 2016

UPdate on Paige

Jennifer and our grandchildren, Katie and visited on Saturday.  It blessed Paige immensely, as you would imagine. It was dinnertime, and the attendant offered to bring a tray for them, too.  Politely, Jennifer said “No thanks.”  Zachary, the 17 year-old-football-player said, “Mom! Don’t ever turn down food!” So the Attendant brought a tray, which was devoured with dispatch! Another bright spot in Paige’s journey!!!

A different nurse, but familiar to us, was assigned to Paige on Sunday. She admired the Prayer Quilt, given by EHUMC Quilt ministry.  Paige explained the “prayer knots” people tied when it was in the sanctuary.  Paige said, “If you will pray for me, you can tie a knot too.”  The nurse tied a knot, took Paige’s hand and right there prayed for her!   It brought tears of joy to Paige’s eyes.

We learned this week that Medicare has approved one more week of rehab.  We’re pleased about this, for Paige has not reached some goals necessary for living at home.  She may need more than that, but we’ll have to wait to see if it too, is approved.

This week we invited representatives from two different home care companies to interview.  Both are good. Now we must decide on one to provide the care Paige needs when she gets home. That’s in addition to what I can do. I’m told that I cannot do all she needs me to be.  They say caregiving is exhausting. I’m sure it is and could bring on poor health on my part. I will, however, do everything I can for her. Paige will be evaluated soon, to determine the level of care she needs.

We are grateful that our pastor brought Holy Communion to Paige’s room this week. There are many things for which we are immensely grateful. A key element in our journey that buoys us up is good humor— our family finding humor of all sorts.  Proverbs 17:22 (CEB) underscores this;  “A joyful heart helps healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones”. 

Norman Cousins (Anatomy of An Illness, 1979) upon discovering this biblical truth during his brush with death said, “I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep,” He concluded that he “laughed himself healthy.”

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not purporting a “laughter prescription,” just underscoring the Proverbs’ affirmation and how humor helps us. We are so grateful for joy that we find every day, in so many ways. —And we are grateful for your love and prayers.

Love to you all,

Paige and Willis

Friday, October 21, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

This has been quite a week!  We learned through a casual conversation, that a friend Paige met across the hall from her first room in rehab, was in college with both of us.  In fact she caught a ride with me going home one weekend.  She and Paige lived in the same dorm.  Cliché as it is, it’s a small world. This encounter provided lots of fun, and memorable moments. 

Jennifer brought Oakgrove UMC BBQ and we had an in-room picnic.  She spent most of a day with us; She shampooed Paige’s hair and gave her a manicure. It brought Paige numerous favorable comments. helping her to feel good.  Paige gave her nurses a prayer square from our church. The Quilt ministry makes 4” Quilt squares with a tiny cross stitched inside. A note of prayer instructions is attached to each. Her nurses were thrilled. 

We continue to be immensely grateful for the many blessings that come each day through people we meet, or who minister to Paige and me.  We were especially blessed with an excellent nurses’ staff. Recognizing that you are a person is crucial to health and healing.

The good news this week is that Paige was discharged on Thursday.  She is not over the hump yet, but Medicare says goodbye for now.  We have engaged a great company to help a few hours each week with Paige’s personal care in addition to the home care Medicare will provide.

On Friday we were able to locate a device to rent called “Sit-to-stand lift.”  It lifts Paige from her wheel chair onto the bed, and back again when she is ready to get out of bed.  It is a marvelous device, and I can operate it by myself without injuring Paige or me. What a blessing.  We hope we won’t need it when her muscles get stronger.

Melanie continues, like her sister, to do amazing things for us, though in Texas. On Thursday, she had a complete meal sent to us —ready to eat. What a treat that was! It was a happy homecoming.  Also, waiting in the kitchen when we arrived was a vase of flowers and a “Happy Homecoming” poster from Jennifer and the grandchildren.

Kim Hepler, who is a friend as well as an experienced caregiver —her son has a disability—came over on Friday and brought joy as well as some practical pointers. She is always a ray of sunshine to us.

As Paige and I read THE UPPERROOM together— this week especially— it seemed to have devotional meditations written just for us.  Again, showers of blessings.

Love and appreciation to you all!

Paige and Willis

Friday, October 28, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

This has been our first full week at home, and it has been interesting.  Adjusting to and modifying our home as contrasted to the rehab center adds to the excitement. We have a wonderful morning caregiver, Janet.  She comes four mornings a week, and is skilled, fun, and caring.

 For now we have evening caregivers to help with getting to bed. The main point is to help keep Paige safe getting into bed.  For now we use a “Sit-to-stand” lift. We are working toward her being able to do more and more for herself, as she gains strength.

Our Neurologist was pleased with Paige’s toleration of the key Parkinson’s prescription.  He gave a gradual increase in its strength and so far she has tolerated it well. The visiting nurses keep careful track of her meds so that we keep on track.

 We continue to make modifications here at home.  One of the best improvements is the shower transfer seat that allows Paige to move from her wheelchair onto the seat, which slides into the shower.  Then she can swivel as needed for her shower. 

Although our house living area is one level, there is a six-inch step-up from outside. We had a sturdy ramp built at the kitchen door from the garage this week. We have not used it (we did try it out— with success!!) but next time we leave home with Paige, it will be immensely helpful.

 I was late getting a reservation for family night dinner at church this week, but sweet Lori Cora brought our dinners anyway. Again, Melanie and Jennifer, busy though they are in their careers, pitched in with needed services that we couldn’t accomplish alone.

 My birthday was this week and the best thing about it was that Paige and I got to spend it together. Not exactly what you normally call a celebration but great that we could do it all together.  Then at the weekend, granddaughter Katie and I will celebrate her 16^th birthday and mine together. (Guess who will be the star of that show!)

 I can’t say enough about how grateful we are for the outpouring of love, care and friendship we receive. Even “Tiny” at my local McDonald’s “coffee place” inquires about her. When your world shrinks from expansive to the four walls and a doctor’s office” —caring people make a huge difference.

 We are grateful for the blessings we find in each day and each new way we find to make Paige’s adjustment in creating a “new normal.” Part of that new normal is a virtually revolving door of nurses, Physical and Occupational therapists, and caregivers. Most of these show great compassion, understanding, and help.

Please include Paige in your prayers at church and/or Sunday School this week.

With Love and Gratitude to you all,

Willis and Paige

Friday, November 4, 2016

Update on Paige

Dear Family and Friends,

I guess the big news is that we got rid of the Sit-to-Stand lift!  Our football-player-grandson, Zachary and a football player buddy came over Sunday afternoon and lowered our bed. Now when Paige gets to the bed, she can sit on the edge and get in.  We still have to lift her legs onto the bed, but how much more pleasant for her!

            Sunday night, Katie willingly shared her birthday celebration with her grandfather.  She turned 16 and we had a family gala with her. It really blessed Paige that we celebrated her in our home with her.

            Over the weekend, Paige struggled with rather dramatic nausea.  We think it was due to the increase in Parkinson’s medication dosage the Neurologist prescribed.  After his suggestion to eliminate one dose each day things improved.  Well, as they say, it is “The practice of medicine.”  We are so grateful that she can tolerate this preferred medication.

            We continue to learn of people, groups, and churches that are praying for her.  This encouragement means more to Paige than you can know!  Although she keeps a positive attitude, and finds things for which to be grateful, she was a little disappointed that she couldn’t see the little chipmunk scampering across our deck one morning at breakfast.  It reminds me of how much we have to change our patterns of almost everything; seating, placement of furniture, even the measure of liquids in glasses.  So, it is a learning experience for us both.

            I had several medical checkups this week, so with the help of our morning caregiver and my friend from college, Dick Baker, I was able to manage them without either cancelling or leaving Paige alone. 

            This week, she has been able to take several walks around our kitchen island with the aid of her walker. We believe her legs are gaining some strength, and such things help to affirm that. She is also able to assist in lifting herself from sitting, using the chair arms. This also seems to indicate gaining strength there.

            As we anticipate Thanksgiving Day, our gratitude knows no end.  You have been such strong supporters, and prayer partners.  Every week we are reminded of people and groups who are praying for Paige.  You matter to Paige and your prayers count!

With Love and Gratitude to you all,

Willis and Paige

Friday, November 11, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

The highlight of this week was that Paige was able to attend Sunday School.  We barely got down the hallway for her friends stopping to hug, speak, and visit with her.  In the classroom it was rather amusing that as she sat in the room (we got there earlier than we ever have, due to our newness navigating with the wheelchair) class members would arrive and speak in the usual way and suddenly realize it was Paige — and WOW—they realized the impact of seeing her for the first time in months. The class had planned an informal, visiting, eating, and singing “lesson.” It turned out to be a celebration of Paige being there.

            Another high point for the week is that Paige’s Occupational Therapist challenged her to  “walk on uneven Terrain” with her walker. So he guided her through the kitchen door, down the ramp and to the driveway at the garage door. After a brief rest, it was back inside again. It was a triumph.

She has been able to walk with the walker to the bathroom (sans wheelchair) a few times a day.  It usually takes about 4-5 minutes one-way.  Such incremental increases help give her confidence. I am so proud of her upbeat, positive attitude.

Paige had her check-up with our primary physician this week, which was a good session.  She listened to Paige, was intently involved in her case and was encouraging about her progress.  Our morning caregiver, Janet, was a dream in the transitions from home-to-wheelchair-to-car-to-wheelchair again at Emory U. Hospital. We are so very grateful for good health insurance, superb medical personnel, and home care.

I guess I kinda spoiled Paige during rehab: When I returned for the evening visit, I would stop at Starbucks and get her favorite– a Skinny Vanilla Latte, extra hot, extra foam.  So, on the way back from Emory that treat was her delight.  Don’t you love it when little things mean so much!

Paige really looks forward to next week; She will get a “Mani-Pedi” and “real” hairdo by her favorite professionals! We were able, with some magic scheduling; to set each on at a time her caregiver could be with her to help navigate the process.

Paige and I find many things for, which to be thankful along this journey.  We also find humor in not so obvious places, as well as in the more obvious ones.  She and I had belly laughs about the cartoon below.

With Love and Gratitude,

Willis and Paige

Friday, November 18, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

            Paige is making it a fairly routine matter to use her walker all the way from the den to the bathroom. The significance of this milestone is that previously, she could only get there by wheelchair.  In addition, she is often able to stand (as opposed to sitting in the wheelchair) to wash her hands.  Little things mean a lot!!

            She was able to attend Sunday School again.  So far she has not been able to sit for the entire session.  But what a wonderful step this is to get there and visit as class begins and to participate (especially) in the “Thankful Offering.”  The attendance was slim, but all were accounted for—Everywhere from the mountains of North Georgia to California! But that’s the way The Joyful Class works.  We’re together whether in the room or in Spirit! That means a lot.

            I guess having a cell phone “lock out” is usually a crisis.  But Paige is lucky to have our two grandchildren Katie and Zachary, to jump in and fix her up. They took me to the phone store, helped get the “just right” phone and set her up.  The company wanted to sell a “Protection Plan.”  Katie said, “No, Papa. Zachary and I can take care of Nana’s phone.”  I shoulda known!  I hope they go to college nearby!!!

            Paige was able to go to her favorite hairdresser for the first time in months! She and her caregiver got her into the chairs and —as you ladies know— it was as if she became a new person.  Paige is so appreciative of such good service. 

            Another service that greatly helps her spirits is that she got the works from her favorite nail salon person. That too helps her feel like a real person.  You just never know how much these little details do just that.

            We got what we think is good news this week from a doctor at Emory Healthcare.  He indicated that she does not have the usual Parkinson’s Disease (Leave that to Paige to have her own version! ; -]  ) His and other observations say she appears to have had a stroke—BUT, the MRI does not indicate a stroke.  So they are trying to discover why her right hand and foot still refuse to follow her mental instructions (verbal don’t help either!) He also said that in light of no improvement, she still needs routine Physical Therapy to keep her from declining. 

            Thank you for your prayers.  Paige gets signed cards from groups, Sunday school classes from all over assuring her of their prayers.  We appreciate these immensely!! Prayer matters more than you can imagine.

With Love and Gratitude,

Willis and Paige Moore

P. S.

I’ve mentioned the Prayer Quilt that the Quilt Ministry at EHUMC gave Paige.  Here is a picture of it as it lay on the Chancel Rail of Embry Hills United Methodist Church. I’m told that the whole congregation came forward to tie a knot, indicating prayer offered.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

            This Thanksgiving holiday, Paige and I are filled with gratitude; for our family, our many friends, the many, unusual and inspiring expressions of love and concern from y’all.  We are reminded of the words of Lamentations (3:22-23)

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end; They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness.”

            Jennifer and Melanie volunteered to relieve our evening caregivers for a few days; Jennifer took a turn during the Thanksgiving Holidays. And Melanie, will take a turn when she comes from Texas right after Thanksgiving. This is a double blessing; having family time and not the expense of professional caregivers.

            As cold as it was, here in Tucker, Paige made it to Sunday School again! We had good attendance. It did her spirits so much good to be among good friends, and hear their cheerful greetings. This is the first time she has been able to sit in a real chair at Sunday School. The upholstered chair allowed her to sit through the entire lesson.

            The ride home was spectacular— a crystal clear day and the trees were so colorful it was breathtaking. Short as the ride was, it was a huge infusion of joy for Paige.

            Jennifer said she wanted to learn to do our traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  So days early, Paige sat in her wheelchair in the kitchen helping as much as possible while giving directions and guiding.  As I helped the process, I finally asked Paige, “Isn’t your pointer finger getting tired?”

            By Thanksgiving Day— No, Paige’s pointer finger was not tired. She led Jennifer and me to one of the best of our traditional Thanksgiving Day dinners in memory.  (I think Jennifer’s got it now!! Kudos!) Paige was able to enjoy every bit of it, and one of her greatest joys is that Jennifer wanted to learn how to do this whole process.

            Paige and I are so appreciative of you; our many family and friends who “Stand By (us)” Your prayers, your support, and love are immeasurable.  Thank you.  There is a YouTube video that speaks to our appreciation to just that point!  The video shows people all over the world singing “Stand By Me” and reminds us of how diverse we all are, and how we can— and do— harmonize to make life joyful and vibrant.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 2, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

            It is beginning to seem that our “new normal” now includes Sunday School. Paige has been able to make it 4 Sundays in a row.  And by sitting in a soft chair, her legs now hold out for the entire hour or so. (Believe it or not, we get there early!)  Jennifer, Zachary and Katie came over Sunday night and helped us devour the rest of that wonderful Thanksgiving Dinner Jennifer and the kids prepared.

            This was the week of Doctors; Paige saw her Neurologist again this week, and even though he says she doesn’t have classic Parkinson’s, he continued medication for Parkinson’s.  He will schedule an MRI in February to more nearly define her specific version of this disease. There is a name for it, — umpteen syllables long, and it’s very rare. He told her to keep as active as possible, but only with assistance, due to her tendency to fall backward.

            Her mobility continues to improve incrementally.  She can stand—leaning on the sink to brush her teeth and wash her hands. Eating is still a challenge due to her right hand not wanting to listen to her mental directions.  (Won’t listen to verbal directions either! ;-))

            We got a Desk Cycle for her, which allows her to pedal, bicycle-fashion, while sitting.  She spends 20-40 minutes a day at that, taking a fair number of rests. It helps build her strength.

            As for the doctors, I had an MRI this week but won’t know the results for a few days.  Paige also saw her dermatologist for a follow up on skin cancer removal, and because of redness on her neck and arm.  As it turns out, it may be an allergic reaction to something contacting her skin.  After two weeks of treatment, we should know more.

            On the way back from the dermatologist’s office Paige saw the most beautiful Blackjack Oak leaf on the walk.  She picked it up and saved it for her place at the table—another beautiful touch of God’s hand.

            We were blessed by a few days’ visit by Melanie.  She flew in from Texas — squeezing in time with her mom during her busiest season.  She treated us with delicious meals, and took loving care of her mother— allowing us to release some caregivers’ time—a double blessing. We are so very blessed with good medical and personal care and loving family and friends!! 

In closing, Paige and I share with you a whimsical presentation of the classic, WHITE CHRISTMAS; that we enjoy every year. If you don’t care for Clyde McPhatter’s rendition, just watch the animation.  It’s worth the viewing here. Sung by The Drifters. Cartoon by Joshua Held. Featuring Bill Pinkney on lead bass and Clyde McPhatter on tenor. (To view as full screen, click the “x” in the upper left corner of the YouTube screen)

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 9, 2016

Paige’s week has gone very well—starting with a Mani-pedi with her favorite solon lady, Lilly. She had two good days with her Physical Therapist.  He added a couple of exercises that seem to help, and suggested a tool for helping her range-of-motion. 

We signed up for the UMW-UMM Christmas banquet, but rain and the cold weather nixed that. We missed Sunday School for the same reason. Ya’ just have to roll with the punches.

            However, any negative was more than compensated in that we were able to decorate our home for Christmas this week. Melanie did the heavy lifting—getting decorations from the attic and basement. Our caregiver, Janet and I did the decorating that Paige couldn’t reach from her wheelchair. 

            Paige was excited about getting them out; (Her pointer finger still works!!) We would unwrap an ornament, and she’d say something like, “When I taught in Wilkinson County this one came from….” Or “…when I taught at Orange Street School…” Or, “Oh, we bought that one in that little shop in…”  She also remembers where every one is stored.  We stayed up two hours late one night looking through boxes for three pictures (ornaments)— of course they were in a box I had already looked in, but obviously not very carefully!

            I am delighted that we were able to accomplish this.  Christmas and decorating is the highlight of Paige’s year, and we managed to do well in the process.  We are grateful for Jennifer taking time out of her busy time —and Christmas pressure to help out.  She also came and stayed with Paige while I went to practice with “The Altar Egos” for our Christmas music at church.

            Another accomplishment Paige is making; increasing the length of time she can walk using her walker. She is up to 13 minutes as I write this.  She does have to take rest breaks occasionally during the walk.  But this is so much more than she was able to do earlier.  As the little turtle Dottie gave her says, “One Day at a Time.”

            We learned a few minor adjustments making it easier to get out of/into bed, and out of her recliner. As I indicated earlier, we are grateful for each step, insight, or epiphany that leads to more comfortable trajectory toward independence. 

Paige spends very little time mourning what she has lost in terms of independence and personal privacy. Instead, she tends to focus on the blessings God gives each day, each little step forward, and is delighted to hear from family and friends far and near. We’re also thankful that our Corgi, Bailey has not greeted us as the dog in the picture below greeted his parents!!

            Early on, Paige taught me to love Christmas and the joys it brings.  I’m delighted to help create an environment that helps her enjoy the season visually and audibly. Again, Thank all of you who continue in prayer and communication on her behalf.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 17, 2016

            Paige is having a good week. The trip to her hairdresser was among the top experiences of the week. We concluded that trip with a stop at Starbucks for her favorite latte.

            Jennifer committed two evenings this week to stay with Paige. This allowed me to; 1) attend to my Boy Scout meeting to participate in a Board of Review for a First Class Scout, and 2) go to a rehearsal with our Blue Grass group  (the Altar Egos) for our Christmas program.  It meant a great deal for her to have mother-daughter time.

            Of course I do know this, but was vividly reminded of how much environment and visual cues make a dramatic difference in how a person feels, emotionally and physically: Having our home decorated for Christmas as usual —in a manner of speaking—lifted Paige’s spirits enormously. She recalls so vividly where certain items go (even where we stored them.) So, having things so familiar at Christmas time is a huge spirit booster.

            The other spirit-lifter came soon after her “sun went behind a cloud.” She, at one point said, sadly, “I’m going to be confined to a wheelchair the rest of my life!” When her Physical Therapist arrived, he was asking how she feels.  I ratted her out, about the down time; He said, “Paige! You just told me you just walked with the walker for sixteen (16) minutes!)”  That’s not someone who is confined to a wheel chair!”  And he continued to point out to her how far she has come. (From being confined to the bed to walking –with brief breaks- 16 minutes. It helped her spirits tremendously.

            Another boost was when he said, “Take that wheelchair into another room so you don’t see it..  Bring it out only when you need to use it.” It made a huge difference to her —sitting in her recliner and not being reminded of any dependence upon it.  We work hard at adjusting to our new normal.

            Finally, the reminders you give her that she in in your thoughts and prayers buoy Paige’s spirits.  Your visits, calls, and especially the mail cheer her daily. Oh how we both wish we could respond to tell each of you how much your love and care help her (and me) along this journey. Her version of Parkinson’s disease is a learning experience.  We are so grateful each day for God’s grace.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 23, 2016

Dear Family and Friends,

            Christmas is almost here.  The birth of Jesus holds and held the hope of the world.  No less, does this blessed Season hold Hope, Love, Joy, and Peace for us. Paige is enjoying — though often at something of a distance— the full impact of the Season. We are thrilled that she has come this far. She knows this is not a sprint, but a Marathon.

Some wonderful things happened this week; First, Paige was able to attend the Christmas music program at our church Sunday night. The children’s, youth, and adult choirs gave great music and the Altar Egos played to open and during intermission. The Altar Egos is a Blue Grass group at our church. I play guitar with them.  All along during the evening there was a steady stream of people coming over to Paige to speak to and visit with her. She was deeply moved by their gesture.

Next, Marty, the PT person “graduated” Paige to her rollator (see picture below). It moves much easier, and is easy to control.  She feels more like she is walking as contrasted with “leaning on a frame (walker)” She has added some minutes (and rests) almost every day.

And then, Wednesday we went to the Department of Driver Services to renew Paige’s driver’s license. Although she has not driven for almost a year, and cannot drive now, is would have been too much of a loss to get only a State Photo ID.  At least the actual driver’s license is a significant symbol of possibility.

Today capped off a stellar week.  Jennifer took Paige and me to Lennox Square.  Paige was thrilled.  It was the first time she’d been in a store or a mall in over six months.  And the joy of seeing the Christmas decorations was splendid. Jennifer was a trouper in navigating the crowds with Paige and the wheelchair. On the way home, Jennifer took us through some especially beautifully decorated neighborhoods, accompanied by wall-to-wall Christmas music via Sirius Radio Channel 18. For one who loves Christmas and its spectrum of experiences, this was a singular treat for her.

So, on this Blessed Christmas (almost) Eve, we thank you for your love, prayers, and all that you mean to us. It truly is a joy-filled Season.

May the Prince of Peace reign in your life, now and forever.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 30, 2016

The uncertainty of this disease is not greatly unlike life itself. Therefore, It can be a great opportunity for experiencing Grace. There are highs and lows as we learn to lean mightily upon the Grace of God. Though not always at the time, we often see moments with God— often in retrospect.

In Mark 8:11-25 the Pharisees wanted a sign, and Jesus said no sign would be given. Then he chided his disciples for not trusting God, after all they had experienced. So, we don’t grouse over not knowing what lies ahead. Instead we focus on receiving, and finding excitement in what God gives each day.

Christmas weekend experience was one such time. The reality that Christ was born, but not only walks among us was clear as our family had our unique celebrations, both in Georgia and Texas—and a simultaneous celebrating of Christmas and Hanukah—Or as Melanie said it, “Christnukah.”

Paige was delighted that Jennifer wanted to learn to make her traditional fruitcake (No, not the one everyone shuns.) So, she learned by doing.  Paige sat in the kitchen in her wheelchair coaching, and Jennifer followed every “jot and tittle” of her directions. She turned out a masterpiece—-that tasted and looked like Paige’s (note the past tense.)  (See picture below.)

Jennifer said it really helps that Paige can supervise and interpret what “a pinch” or “fold in” or “beat—(as opposed to “whip”) mean in the handwritten recipe file. A while back, both she and Melanie mastered Paige’s famous Pound Cake. The fact that Paige’s daughters want to keep her traditions alive thrills her no end.

As this Christmas season comes to a close, Paige got another thrill.  Jennifer knows she gets really excited about Christmas decorations and the beauty of the season.  So she took us to Perimeter Mall to see their decorations and do a little shopping. Our grandchildren, Zachary and Katie met us there (they’re drivers now!!) and we had lunch at the “Shake Shack.” The trip was as great as Paige had hoped! 

Our friend, Russell Jacobs called.  He was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease ten years ago.  He functions very well, and shared with us how vastly differently the Disease impacts each different person. His experience is an encouragement to us.

Paige’s PT guy came today, but since she seemed to be fighting off a cold, he postponed the physical exercise; he gave her a pep talk, and enumerated her progress.  It was an encouraging time. Turns out, it was good that he did not press exercise, as later in the day Paige began to develop bronchial difficulty. 

Our Emory doctor could not work her in, but recommended that she go to

A “Doc-in-the-Box”.  We are fortunate that a nice one opened up here in Tucker. She was treated and given meds to help. We’ll celebrate New Years joyfully!

With Love and Gratitude, and a Happy New Year to you all!

Paige and Willis

P.S.

I don’t mean to bore you with these updates but they serve at least two purposes; 1) they keep family and friends posted , and 2) they help me gain perspective as a full time caregiver.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, you may have guessed it— we did not get to the “doc-in-the-Box” soon enough. Paige now has full blown bronchitis.  The meds help, but they are not miracle workers!

The good part is that on Saturday, Jennifer, Zachary, and Katie did the grocery shopping for our New Year’s celebration, cooked our NYE dinner, and we had a grand evening (In spite of the dead TV, due to Comcast utility pole failure.) Zachary was able to connect his iPhone to Apple TV and we watched the NYE celebrations — which was culminated with granddaughter Katie baking a fantastic apple pie!  (See pic below). Takes after Nana in that department. Of course, Nana was thrilled! .  We are so very grateful for our family—near and far— and their support.

The only glitch is that Paige came down with a raging Bronchial infection which involved hours at the Emory Clinic and a chest X-ray. It is still hanging on, and we hope the meds will kick in and kick it out—that, and Cable TV out of service all week created a challenge.

As of tonight, we’re hunkered down for the predicted winter storm. Jennifer came with her dog after school and we’re in for the duration. 3-5 inches of snow is predicted for this weekend— Maybe it will be a winter wonderland.  Paige’s PT guy told her “Do not make any snow angels this weekend.  She promised to obey~ 😉

With Love and Gratitude!

Paige and Willis

 P.S.  The Cable Tech has been working here on our connection for the past 8 hours!!  Still trying to clear out the glitches…Here’s hope…

Friday, January 13, 2017

Yep, we will rebuild. I guess I should apologize for that hokey spoof of our weather last weekend. Other than near record cold, we dodged the bullet—-unlike our neighbors in the next county up.  But, for Paige and me, there is a double meaning; we will (are) rebuild(ing).

On Paige’s classroom computer, she had posted the following rhyme;

“Yesterday is History,

Tomorrow is a mystery,

Today is a Gift,

That’s why it’s called The Present”

She still lives with that attitude, and we both are grateful for the “Present.”  Dottie Coltrane’s ceramic turtle gift –early on in this journey, which stated “One Day At A Time.” Is still Paige’s theme song. And I might add, she still keeps that little turtle nearby.

Our “New Normal” is becoming “Just Plain Normal.”  It is quite interesting how settling into useful routines helps in many ways: memory, efficiency, familiarity, as well as something of a comfort— you know, getting comfortable with the familiar.  (And, isn’t comfort the antithesis of dis-ease?) I once preached a sermon entitled “The Healing in the Ordinary.”  We continue to find Truth in that.

In Paige’s PT session today, the Therapist said Paige is showing significant improvement standing and taking steps with her Rolator. Of course, we realize that she is not planning to join a “Walkathon” next week.  But it is reassuring that she is not frozen in place, or worse, regressing. We do not judge progress by looking at the finish line, but at the Start Line. So, we are immensely grateful for progress. We are also very grateful for the up-beat spirit and helpful hints of Marty, our PT.

With Love and Gratitude!

Paige and Willis

Friday, January 20, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

It is hard to believe that this update completes four months of bringing you up to date on Paige—-and five months since the Parkinson’s diagnosis. Paige has really come a long way since then—just look at a couple of the first updates.

Paige feels so much better, now that she is over Bronchitis! We are grateful that it did not develop into Pneumonia.  We were able to attend Sunday School again for the first time in about a month.  She still cannot hold out to stay for worship.

Also, her muscles seem to be getting stronger.  As she transitions from her recliner to the walker or the Roallator, she does not need as much assistance. Although she is not able to stand unassisted, we do see some progress.  The Bronchitis set her back some in length of time walking with her Rollator.  However, her Physical Therapist wants to get her out of the house and into the driveway on her Rollator.  We see that as affirmation of her progress. Her spirit is undaunted!

One morning as I rolled her into the den, she said, “Why is that chair sitting there.  It belongs over here.”  I took that as evidence that her “homemaking” attitude remains strong— and I moved the chair.  It is hard on her that she cannot move a chair or wipe up crumbs and attend to other homemaking responsibilities. As clumsy as I am, I do try to attend to those matters. I am convinced that it makes a difference mentally if her environment is as close to normal as possible.  But she has a great sense of humor about my housekeeping.

Marty, Paige’s PT, gave her a tip for getting stable as she rises to stand with her walker; He said, “When you stand, count to ten till you get stable. Then begin moving.”  It does help.  Now, when she stands, she counts, and— if she really feels stable, she will count, “1—2—3– 4-5678910” She laughs and says, “Maybe Marty didn’t hear that.”  Her sense of humor reigns!!

This week a card came from her high school class.  They’ve reached the age that they don’t want to wait too long to get together.  So those who can, meet once a quarter for a “mini reunion.”  Paige has not been able to attend since last April.  The other day they met in Adel and they all signed a card for her— and most wrote words of loving care and encouragement.  What a blessing that was for her!  We both are so thankful for such support and encouragement.  Your prayers really matter!!

With Love and Gratitude!

Paige and Willis

Friday, January 26, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I do not watch much TV except movies on the Hallmark channels. We did hear that we have a new President.  However, Paige, and I did watch the Falcon’s football game. She didn’t miss a play. It was very refreshing cheering “our team” as they marched toward the Super Bowl. It was a very cheerful (no pun intended) experience!

A friend (harking back over 50 years) called.  He has had Parkinson’s disease for several years. We talked about how strange this disease is.  It hits and manifests itself in many different ways.  He drives, cooks his meals, and functions fairly well. He rejoiced with us about how alert and sharp Paige is.  We reminisced over the times our families would call each other and share ingredients to make evening meals together in our early days.

It is conversations like that one, and notes, calls, and comments from so many of you that help keep Paige buoyed up.  And of course, antics like one early this week: I was about to dash out on a quick errand. Paige said, “You need to comb your hair, or wear a cap.”  I came back into the room wearing a baseball cap—turned backwards. Paige and Janet, our caregiver, just cracked up in laughter—and so did I.  It was very therapeutic.

One afternoon, we sorted towels.  Being a college-graduate-Home-Management person, she found my last six months of housekeeping a little less than —ahem—well, let’s say par.  That, plus my partial color-blindness, made for an interesting discovery in the linen closet. I should say, she did have a good sense of humor about —- and we’re still married.

Several of you have asked how I’m doing.  I do appreciate that. However, I’m doing great. The age-dictated-doctor visits for me have turned out well.  But mostly, I’m thankful that I have the strength and ability to care for Paige. She has an enormously tougher load to bear. Mine dims greatly in comparison.

Marty, our PT guy said today that Paige really shows improvement. He likes to say, “Remember what you couldn’t do when we started!”  He said he wishes he’d thought to video her first session with him. Kudzu grows inches per week.  Oaks grow over the years.  But look how much stronger — and durable is an Oak!  We try to look at Paige’s progress in those terms and are grateful for her progress.

With Love and Gratitude!

Paige and Willis

Friday, February 3, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

We had something of a milestone this week.  We finally bought a power-lift-chair.  It arrived about 20 minutes before Paige’s PT session.  Marty, the PT guru worked her through the paces getting accustomed to it.  By Thursday, Paige was able to lift, stand, and hold onto her Rollator.  From there she walked across the room and back to her chair unassisted.  Then she could lower herself to a sitting position without anyone assisting her. Marty had high praise but warned her not to try it without someone in the room!

            One of Paige’s tough struggles is seeing, and wanting, to do even routine tasks—things she has done all her life; like making a meal, or wiping a table, or dialing the telephone. High on her wish list is to be able to write or feed herself with her right hand. (She is about to become a “Lefty.”) My heart aches for her.  But like the stalwart person she is, this lady bounces back and rises above it all. I am not astonished, but still she amazes me.

Paige has always been the cheerleader, motivator, and standard-bearer for our family.  She still is, though she doesn’t feel that she is. However, we don’t spend time bemoaning what we don’t have, or what she cannot do.  There is so much to be thankful for, and to enjoy. We choose to turn our focus to the good in life.     

One of the Boy Scouts I work with, Vidura Silva, (from Sri Lanka) asked me to have the prayer in his Eagle Scout Ceremony.  Although it would be  1 1/2 hours, Paige encouraged me to go anyway. I did and his family was very appreciative.  Paige assured me that she would be OK for my being gone that long. I did see to it that she was comfortable in her recliner before I left. I placed both the house phone and her cell phone well within reach. She faired very well.    

This week we joined my wonderful cousin, The Reverend Carrie Veal  enticed us to join the Hundred Days of Happiness Project also —February 1 – May 12. We love Carrie’s sweet spirit and attitude. I had dropped out of Social Media— but for checking messages. Yet we chose to join in this project and welcome this exercise. (The idea is to find something every day to be happy for and post it.) This gives us a regular, specific, uplifting project to add to our “New Normal”—which now has largely become routine.

Such ventures as these helps make life feel more normal.  We thank for your prayers and wonderful encouragement. 

With Love and Gratitude!

Paige and Willis

Friday, February 10, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

This weekend marks seven months since the disastrous fall Paige took, injuring her coccyx, and damaging nerves surrounding it.  By September, she had digressed to the point that she was in the ER, and then admitted to the hospital.  That’s where the Parkinson’s diagnosis was made. By that time, she could do nothing for herself.  So…looking at her today we are seeing enormous progress. This week she was able to power her chair up to standing position, arise, take hold of her Rollator, (a sophisticated walker) and walk it to the kitchen, around the island and back to sit in her chair. All this is done without anyone assisting her (but watching very carefully).

And.  That is what I have a hard time doing—watching and NOT assisting.  But I know, and the PT guy keeps telling me, “Let her do as much for herself as possible.“ We both know she needs to push herself to the limit, and more to gain strength.  Nevertheless, we are so very grateful for the progress she has made. To you, family and friends, this may seem to be not very much, which is why I charted these seven months to begin this update. Increments, like grains of sand, add up!

Jennifer took us on a daylong shopping trip at the Forum in Peachtree Corners. Paige needed some skincare products, some jeans and we both needed shoes. (Yes, shoes!) Now that Paige gets about very well on her Rollator, good, stable shoes give her better stability. We had lunch at a little restaurant Jennifer found, Snacks, lattes, puzzles and books at Barnes & Noble, made a fun day of the outing.  Paige is still basking in its glow.

The MRI for Paige was quite uncomfortable for her. The technicians were very nice, but they did not seem to be accustomed to, nor equipped for, someone with Paige’s disability.  She’s just glad that’s over, and she awaits her visit with her doctor for interpretation. On a lighter side, reporting on the results could be confusing:  If they say, “We didn’t find anything in her head.”  Hmmm— that could confirm that she is a “nut case.” Or could be good news — i.e., no problem found.  See! We can find humor in almost anything.

So, family and dear friends, thank you for your prayers and the many other ways you encourage, care about, and cheer Paige up. We truly are blessed.

With Love and Gratitude!

Paige and Willis

Friday, February 17, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

This was a week of appointments:  Monday, to the Dermatologist to check out red spots that appear on Paige’s face.  Diagnosis:  We start eliminating causes; soap, makeup, etc. 

Tuesday; a routine appointment with our primary care physician; There we also followed up on the MRI from last week.  The good news is that her mental function is age-appropriate (don’t you just hate it when your doctor starts a statement with “As we age….”)

The other news, not really bad news, but just realistic, is that the left function of Paige’s brain doesn’t give good directions to her right side—arm, hand, leg and foot. (Kinda like me, but then my directions are another story.) 

This news may explain why several doctors have said Paige appeared to have had a stroke, though neither MRI indicated stroke symptoms.  So, the doctor’s comment does kinda give come clarification.That visit also resulted in some referrals to other medical units at Emory University Hospital. Things have gotten so specific, medically, there’s a specialist for everything— as Paige’s father used to say “Everything from dandruff to flatfeet!” So, more appointments are pending.

Wednesday was a joyful day:  Paige had her favorite hairdresser pamper her, resulting in a very happy day! (Now, if I could only manage not make a grand mess of her hair, while helping her get into bed at night! )

Also, this week we read a medical article that confirms what we have learned all along; Laughter, is good therapy; —as the Bible says, – “A merry heart does good, like medicine.” So, we find humor in all sorts of things, including our mistakes and bumbling. (Mainly mine— you should see me—a man— trying to do womanly things for Paige!  It’s a hoot!!)

Thursday was her “Crowning” day— well, not that kind.  She spent the morning in the dentist’s chair getting prepared for a crown in a couple of weeks. Although she dreaded the procedure, it was not as bad as she had imagined.

Friday was something of a bittersweet day; our favorite Physical Therapist, Marty, “Graduated” Paige. Mainly because Medicare ran out, but actually, Paige has made significant strides; as in, one day this week, she retrieved her Rollator, got out of her recliner, walked in it to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and returned to her recliner. –Without assistance. Wow!  We are so excited.

We give thanks to God for his blessings, and thanks to you who are strong supporters of Paige; Prayers, gifts of food (and food gift cards,) words of encouragement (written and in person—calls and face-to-face), and most of all the caring we feel. It is simply impossible adequately to explain how much all these mean to Paige and me. We love you and cherish you and all you mean to us.

With Love and Gratitude!

Paige and Willis

Friday, February 24, 2017

This week was a calmer week.  No appointments. One of the exercises Paige did in rehab was placing assorted beads into separate cups. This helped her finer motor skills. Now that scheduled PT is over, she is on her own.  We came up with an idea for (short term, anyway) to work on her fine motor skills.  When I empty my pockets, I toss my loose coins into a pail. Over time, I had accumulated about 10 pounds of coins.

So, the idea we had was to place cups in a cup holder for the four denominations of coins. Then from a tray of coins, Paige sorted them— a small batch at a time, so as not to get too tired. She finished this week, and I rolled them for the bank. Thus, we had two successes, therapy for Paige’s hands and arms, and coins converted to handling size. We are grateful that such simple things can become a reason for rejoicing.

We are also trying one more activity that provides some exercise for her arms, hands, and mental acuity: Jigsaw puzzles.  Paige has always enjoyed doing jigsaw puzzles.  For years, at Christmas, she —and I helped some— put together a Christmas scene.  A few times it took till Epiphany, but she/we got them done. So now she has a new purpose for the activity.

We are quite blessed by your cards, phone calls, visits and notes—not to mention the food gifts.  We are humbled by your attention to us.  Today I went to Starbucks to get Paige’s favorite latte —and the manager inquired about how she is doing.  This was not simply a polite, “How is Miss Paige?”  She inquired with serious questions and sent warm greetings to Paige.  These things keep Paige’s (and my) spirits upbeat.  Thank you for your love and care.

With Love and Gratitude!

Paige and Willis

Friday, March 3, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

We thank you for the ways you keep up with and encourage us.  I say “Us” because this disease affects both of us. It is astonishing how disease, illness, or grief, dramatically isolate those affected.  The cessation of normal routines, the impact of new duties, and schedules pull you away from people and events.  More and more, we are reading about how important it is to keep up social contacts.  And you are a part of that piece of the puzzle.

In addition, Paige is trying to return to face-to-face contacts through her UMW circle, her book club, and especially Sunday School. Partly on her behalf, the Book Club is planning to meet in a local restaurant, where accessibility is more consistent than in their homes.   

She has not yet been able to sit through both Sunday school and church. But we keep pushing for involvement. She welcomes phone calls and visits. These cheer her and provide social experience that is vital.

We had planned to attend Ash Wednesday service, but the threat of bad weather kept us at home.  Navigating with a wheelchair is a bummer. There was a pretty bad thunderstorm here, and our Corgi hopped into my lap and lay there for over an hour—unusual for her.  She usually gets too warm and leaves my lap after a few minutes.

Janet, our caregiver, went home sick Thursday, so we are without help till next week. Kinda gives  us a chance to see how we can fend for ourselves.  It is a hoot! But—we’re still married, and no arrests have been made.

Little by little, we’re bringing the house back into proper order. We tidied up Paige’s closet a bit, and we put up the curtains in the laundry room—they had been down since painting months ago.  Don’t get any ideas— probably no one else would notice these incremental changes, but each one helps Paige’s spirit.

We are grateful for each increment of bringing things to as normal as possible—as I’ve said before, we’re creating a “New Normal.”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, March 10, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

I was about to discontinue or make less frequent these updates on Paige. However, this week we received several messages from long-time friends. They spoke of how much the messages mean to them. So, for now, I’m planning to keep you posted.  I can’t tell you how much it means to Paige that you still care about her. And, these updates become a kind of diary for us —keeping chart of her progress.  As I said in the beginning, it is in increments—-sometimes so minute change is barely discernable.

Paige and I had an excellent outing Monday. She got a good report from her dermatologist.  That afternoon we went out again (that’s twice in one day!) to pick up my new glasses. We stopped at Costco to pick up a couple of items.  Costco’s accessibility, while excellent, still leaves something to be desired.(I couldn’t push the wheelchair and shopping cart at the same time.) So, we wound up getting just the two things we really needed… Paige carried one in her lap in the wheelchair, and I carried the other under my arm. Well—we didn’t look exactly like Ma and Pa Kettle —some of you are not old enough to know them!! but we didn’t get kicked out of Costco either!! Otherwise it was a very good experience and the day was beautiful!!

Spring is breaking out early here in Tucker. While it is getting pretty, the weather forecasts indicate colder snaps ahead—a danger for the delicate blossoms. I have to report to Paige many of the budding and blooming views, since she cannot get out among them. When our beautiful Camellia tree blossomed a few weeks ago, I brought a dish of the blossoms inside, and they thrilled Paige. I hope we’ll have other spring flowers that I can bring inside for her to enjoy.

A high point this week was that she received a new prosthesis etc. Her primary doctor is able to provide prescriptions, since her surgeon has retired. Isn’t it funny, in a strange kind of way, that one can find joy, even excitement about medical provisions?

We are so very grateful for your prayers and encouragement.  It buoys Paige up—and me, too. Just about time she has a down moment –and they are few—we get a message  (card, E-mail, etc.) from one of you and it cheers her greatly.  Today, she said how deeply she counts on prayer.  It matters and makes a difference.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, March 17, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Last week I said I was thinking about discontinuing weekly updates. Several of you begged me not to—that these installments are important and should be continued.  So, if anyone wishes not to receive them, the delete key is just one click away

What a joy it was to Paige for Jennifer to come spend the evening with us.  She brought some food and we combined ours with hers and made quite a meal. Then to top it off, she asked Paige to help her with some classroom paperwork coordination (You teachers will understand).  It thrilled Paige that she could help!!! She worries that since she has lost the use of her right hand— which limits so much of what she has always done—handwriting, using a keypad, cooking, etc. Using her mind— and “teacher” memory brought her lots of joy. The “icing on the cake” was that she and Jennifer could share the experience.

Melanie set up a conference call with our insurance company and got a lot of things set and clarified somewhat. She lives in Texas and cannot come over and physically help. To do what she can, Melanie volunteered to take over the mechanics of managing our insurance tasks and calendar.  She has lots of experience in management.  As CEO of the KDK Harmon Foundation, she feels comfortable in watching for details, and dealing with paperwork —legal and otherwise.

We are so very grateful for our daughters’ help.  You cannot imagine (well, maybe you can) how it cheers Paige to get a phone call or a visit from Jennifer or Melanie. In April, Melanie will fly in and spend a few days with us. Their own busy lives could easily do without the extra care for us, but they come through.

Small changes continue popping up in routine and assistive devices to help Paige do more for herself. She has a device that allows her to pick up things— even as small as a grape, or a tissue from the box. Using it helps her maintain some personal dignity.

And—I’m learning better ways to help in personal grooming: Paige said she now knows why Melanie and Jennifer didn’t want me helping them dress when they were little girls. I was not gentle enough; I think I fully qualify as a Klutz!

As spring arrives, we find more and more things in which to find beauty and joy. We thank God for blessings that are “new each morning.”

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Since we cannot be out among you as before, it is good to know you are there.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, March 24, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

In an earlier update, I spoke of our  “new normal.”  There is something vital and healing about routines. In the aftermath of a crisis we human beings find comfort and restoration in returning to our ordinary lives—even if only taking out the garbage, sweeping the front porch, or washing dishes.  These things we can do without thinking deeply. 

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus heals Simon Peter’s mother-in-law. Right away, she got up and served them (whoever was there in the house, I assume.)  It was important to her to convince herself that all was well, or that she was really alive.

So, more and more, Paige and I are learning how comforting it is to have routines—and just so you’ll know, I’m learning about how to be less rough in bathing and dressing her. (Well—don’t take that as immense progress—but she tolerates it).  We do have to change some things; maybe I should say, “tweak” some of our routines.  But we are so very thankful that we’re able to do things that we can.

Paige had an appointment at the Emory Downtown Edema Clinic. Edema is nearly always lurking for Breast Cancer survivors, but for 21 years it never bothered Paige. The likely rea0son is that she was diligent in keeping up care and exercise to stave it off.  However, the onset of Parkinson’s disease limited her use of the arm (right) where lymph nodes were removed; hence her doctor’s referral to the Edema Clinic.

The PT (with a doctorate!)  assigned to Paige is excellent. It turned out to be a positive, though not desirable, development. Paige’s Edema is borderline, but she still needs to be fitted with a “Compression Garment.” The fitting will take place next week. We are so very grateful that the impact on the affected hand/arm is on the lower end of the scale. We hope that the Compression Garment and exercises, yet to be determined, will help a lot.

We truly are blessed with superb medical care. Although there are multiple locations for each specialist, the travel distance is fairly comfortable. The doctors’ staffs really do try to help keep the appointments within the time frame of our caregiver’s time with Paige. And, again, we think we could hardly have drawn a better CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant.)  than Janet. We are awash in blessings.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, March 31, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Early this week I told Paige again how proud of her I am. That she keeps such a positive “can-do” spirit about this Parkinson’s journey. She doesn’t think she is so upbeat. But I told her that there are so many attitudes she could have taken: bitterness, anger, self-pity, and denial, to name a few. She said, “But my attitude is the only thing I can control.” That is true. I told her how proud I am that she chose the better, more positive direction.

This conversation came after she had a horrid couple of days with diarrhea—unrelated to Parkinson’s. But trouper that she is, she dealt with it, and emerged ready for a week of appointments. As I mentioned last week, she has now been fitted with a Compression garment for Edema in her right arm. This is apparently a spinoff of Parkinson’s due to her right arm’s limitation of movement. So now she will be learning another “new normal.”

We thank God that there was nothing further involved from breast cancer.  For the 21 years following breast Cancer surgery, she was able to stave off Edema by consciously using/exercising and protecting that right arm. It was only after Parkinson’s arrested movement of that arm that the Edema encroached.  The prognosis looks good; now to settle in to this new normal…

Paige has always enjoyed jigsaw puzzles. Recently we bought a couple of 500-piece ones, which make very pleasant scenes.  She, Janet—our caregiver—and I have been enjoying putting some together.  At first, Paige was getting discouraged because she could not manipulate the pieces as she once did.  However, she began to have some success, and with our encouragement and help it has become more fun. The important benefits are that it exercises her small motor skills and calls on mental acuity, recognizing colors, patterns etc.

So, if any of you are in the neighborhood, or plan to, give her a call and drop by to help with the jigsaw puzzle. We’re usually available afternoons, but mornings are most often tied up with appointments, baths, or therapy. You don’t have to give a long notice but do call.  If I happen to have darted out for a quick errand, she cannot answer the door, so a call is necessary.

 We thank God daily for such a wonderful family and group of friends.  You all mean so much to us! Your pep talks, encouragement and joyful responses to us, are constant sources of inspiration.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, April 7, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

We launched a real venture this week: The Veal family reunion is held in Washington County, and we went.  The trip was made possible because Jennifer could go along and assist Paige. It was also great that she, Zachary, and Katie could visit with cousins and our 90-year-old aunt, Neva. It was a great experience, but it wore Paige out. We had already had a full week of appointments for medical matters

We finished the jigsaw puzzle this week. Just as Paige said, “Now what do I do?” —a package arrived in the mail. Our cousin, Jeff Veal, sent a box via Shutterfly. He had made some pictures of Paige, some cousins, and our grandchildren. Shutterfly made two of the pictures into —-wait for it— Jigsaw puzzles! WOW.  Now Paige has a fun game, and memories of that wonderful day. What a thoughtful, creative gift Jeff gave Paige.

Well.  I don’t know how Paige did it.  I mean running the household all these years; planning and preparing food; planning, replacing and/or repairing clothing for the family; doing the laundry: There are 5 different buttons on the washing machine and each has 4 to eight different settings—Math majors compute the number of settings that could amount to— plus the 6 different laundry compounds—hey, we haven’t even gotten to the numbers of different settings – plus types of fabrics to be dried—hanging and—in the clothes dryer. All this, she did while teaching full time, managing two growing girls—while I was away most of the time.  I’m still in awe—I mean I’m more so in awe of her.  I’ve got to admit.  I’ll never measure up.  But loving wife that she is, Paige is patient with me.  Kinda.  We’re still married, no funerals, not even ER visits—yet.;-)))

Today, we had a marvelous day out.  Paige is getting more comfortable with our transferring her from the wheelchair into the car.  So, we met Jennifer, Katie and Zachary at the Mall, and helped shop for his Prom Tux accessories. We had lunch together at Shake Shack; both K & Z were quite helpful with Nana and navigating her wheelchair among the crowds. Paige and I slipped away to let Jennifer and her children have the last hours of their time at home together.  We did some shopping and ended with a little respite over Starbucks lattes. The day was spectacular in beauty—albeit very windy.  We chalk it up as a great day.

We don’t have to search for the many blessings we have. We find them poured out upon us daily. We can’t count them here on this page, but we let you know how much we appreciate the blessing each one of you is.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, April 14, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige has had a good week.  She had mani-pedi Monday and her hairdresser Tuesday.  I think the toughest part was guiding me through another laundry procedure. She is trying to correct some of my deviations from proper laundry process while she was getting back in the swing of things—in a manner of speaking.

First is my lack of understanding of fabric differences, wash cycles, and proper drying settings.  As I mentioned last week there is a plethora of settings on those machines.  I think we got it right—mostly, because she was able to stand with her Roallator and oversee my procedure.  Well, at least I had not committed what my seminary roommate did.  The late Reverend Doctor Jerry Phillips’ process did not turn out well:  He had received a heart transplant.  He felt so sorry for Cathy, his wife, for having everything to do with no help from him. So, as he began to recover, he decided to do the laundry.  When Cathy got home, all her clothes were —pink! Jerry didn’t know about separating colors. (Yes, they stayed married till he died!)

One step I’ve learned is to clean up the washing machine. Who knew?  I thought —“Hey! It’s a washing machine.  Isn’t it clean?” But Paige pointed out places to clean where I didn’t know there were places. And yes, we too, are still married!

On a more serious note, we were able to attend Maundy Thursday Holy Communion service at our church. We planned well and were able to get to church, get down the aisle and seat Paige in the pew and store the wheelchair.  She was so excited to actually sit in a pew!  It was the first time since some time last summer that she was able to sit in the pew. Although she couldn’t stand for all the hymns, she was thrilled to participate.  It was necessary, however for our pastor and Lay Liturgist to bring the Holy Communion elements to us in the pew. A number of friends at church were able to come visit with her, which also thrilled her.

—And today, we started the next jigsaw puzzle.  One of those our cousin, Jeff made from the Veal family reunion.  (See Below) We do have so many things for which to be thankful—and your love and care ranks at the top.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, April 21, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Your prayer support and encouragement mean more to Paige (and me) than you can reckon. I know you, who are on my list of family and friends. However, I don’t know who else receives these updates.  I know our Sunday school class gets them, because our communications person immediately forwards it to all class members. And we have discovered that Sunday school classes and United Methodist Women’s groups in some churches we served get it.  We also know many more (than we ever realized read these,) love Paige and pray for her.  It lifts her spirits and encourages her.  She discovers this support in many ways, not limited to cards, phone calls, and visits.  So, we pause here to say a great big “Thank You!!” Prayer makes a difference!  We are grateful for your love and support.

I’m happy to report that Paige had some more outings this week.  She had a great time attending her United Methodist Women’s circle meeting.  It met at our church, so she was able to get into the building.  Many homes are inaccessible for her.  She was able to attend her book club, meeting at Panera Bread Co.  That, too, was easily accessible for her. The members decided always to meet where she could easily get in.  It will surprise some of you how many barriers there are in public places for someone who has limited mobility.

We are so grateful to be able to adapt to our changing needs.  One of the major adaptations we made is getting into and out of the car, the bed, and straight chairs. This week the concept of “choreography” came to mind— as in the art of movement. I’ll say we have learned our own sort of choreography in navigating through these obstacles. Often, now, when someone asks if they can help (getting into the car for example). We say, “Thanks, but we’ve worked out a plan.” The more we work at it, the smoother it tends to go. So, having arrived at this concept, we are discovering it is easier, and helps Paige be more willing to get out to social situations.

We had a near crisis this week—a huge spring broke on our garage door, and we couldn’t get it open. The car and we were held hostage inside! Fortunately, Overhead Door Co. sent a service technician almost immediately to repair the door.  It is the only door we can enter/exit with Paige. We’re thankful—first for the quick service, and next that there was no crisis requiring us to leave the house—since we couldn’t. God continues to bless!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, April 28, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

I suppose of all the things for which we are thankful, is that Paige’s acuity remains strong. When we consider the myriad diseases or calamities that happen to people, altering their lives, we count our many blessings.  Not that we are better off with Paige’s, it’s just that —as Paige likes to say— “Everybody is dealing with something.”

            Perspective, patience, and persistence are becoming watchwords for us in Paige’s journey. One day this week, when we made a rather ridiculous move—I forget now what it was—we both burst out laughing. Paige said, “Isn’t it great that we can laugh at ourselves when something like this happens!?” Recently, we were regaling a friend about some of this kind of hilarity.  Our friend said, “You ought to consider making videos of these and post them on YouTube.”  While we don’t think we’ll do that yet, we do think we’ll keep these things in memory.

Paige had a unique opportunity through the Emory University Brain Center.  The Michael J. Fox Foundation is sponsoring a study to determine if early indications of Parkinson’s disease may be found.  Also, to determine any preventive and/or care measures may be considered. Her Neurologist recommended this, and Paige readily agreed. Our family has benefitted from other studies, such as cancer, and we are glad to do what we can to help others.  I’ll keep you posted on how it is going—if we know.  It is a “Blind Study.”

Melanie spent a few days with us before needing to return to her work in Austin, TX. It was a great visit.  She was quite surprised about the confidence and accomplishments Paige is showing since she saw her four months ago. We have pretty well settled in to our “new normal.” Also, choreographing some of our transitional moves into and out of the car, chairs, and bed, has contributed to Paige’s confidence. There is little that we understand about this disease, but we are deeply grateful that we are learning to accept where we are, and learning to live life rather than despairing, kicking and screaming against “…the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.”

Paige had something of a fun outing on Friday.  Jennifer needs a new refrigerator, so she asked Paige’s guidance.  We went to Sears and after a couple of hours of comparison (Jennifer had already researched her preferences) she settled—with Paige’s (a Home management graduate) guidance —on the purchase.  Then Paige and I visited the new shopping development nearby—Tucker Meridian—where a new Sprouts Farmer’s Market opened this week. The best part of that was we visited with three different groups of friends. It really cheered Paige. The friendship, prayers, and love from folks like those; you give great strength and hope for Paige.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, May 5, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, the Diagnosis continues; as I said before, Paige’s version of the Disease is a “Parkinsonism” –Her Neurologist this week further diagnosed it as “Cortico basal Ganglionic Degeneration.” It is in the Parkinson’s family.  He said there is no treatment for it nor a cure yet  (“Yet” is my word.) He said he had a patient who had it for ten years.  Paige asked, “What happened to her?”  He said, “I don’t know.  I moved to Atlanta.” This Disease happens more often in women.  It is not fatal in itself; people tend only to die of complications, i.e. Pneumonia, falls etc.

The doctor encouraged Paige to be as active as possible, keep up social contacts, and engage in mentally challenging activities.   (i.e. learning a language, crossword puzzles, etc.) He was delighted that Paige’s acuity is sharp, and her verbalization superb. He wants her to keep up with her book club, her UMW Circle activities, Sunday school, and social outings.

So, essentially, we got good news this week. Now we settle into discovering ways to make and keep life vital within the limits the Disease lays upon us. Paige is quite upbeat about the whole prospect.  Giving this Disease a name—as with any disease— helps to establish parameters —not limits—within which we can operate.

Last week I forgot to mention that while Melanie was here, we shopped for a new wheelchair for Paige.  We found a store that was well supplied so Paige could try out wheelchairs till she found one that fit.  Her old one felt unstable, was not comfortable, and very noisy.  She is quite happy with the one she found.  Janet, her Caregiver and I both are much happier now transporting Paige.

Now that Paige is more confident getting into and out of the car, she enjoyed a shopping afternoon last weekend. She found a few items that cheered her up and reminded her that she does have a life with friends and neighbors.

We all have very busy lives with commitments, plans, and interruptions. So, it is an immense blessing to Paige that many of you contact her with words of cheer, humor, and assurance of love and prayers.  Last week, an editor I used to work with —who is not on this update list— checked in with me to see how Paige and I are doing. Then today, an envelope came from our church; On Children’s Sabbath, the note said, “The children of EHUMC were thinking of you.”  They made a sheet of stickers to express themselves.  Such expressions bless us.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, May 12, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Last Sunday, Paige and I were able to stay for worship following Sunday School.  Normally we had to leave before church, but Paige and I are learning to manage longer outings, if we plan well and proper facilities are available. For example, Paige’s UMW Circle, as well as her book club, have chosen to meet in local restaurants.  Accessible and spacious places put much less strain on her to be away from home. She really enjoys being out among friends and in interesting surroundings.

The worship service was outstanding.  Our youth group did the entire service—from greeting worshipers to providing the music and assisting in the service of Holy Communion. They were fabulous, and of course, it thrilled Paige. Throughout the week, she has been able to get out to events. This week we were able to attend Family Night at church for the first time in about a year.

Lest you get the idea that every day here is rainbows and Unicorns, it isn’t.  From time to time, Paige grieves over some of her losses—handwriting, -dressing herself, personal care, and sprucing up.  But she doesn’t dwell on these times, nor let them control her attitude.

As the saying goes, “This is not our first Rodeo!” We’ve hit our crises along the way, both great and small. But throughout our lives, the foundation of our Faith in God, and the Presence of Christ bears us up.  From the secular poet, John Dryden, these words are a genuine succor;

“I am sore wounded but not slain

I will lay me down and bleed a while

And then rise up to fight again”

It is as astonishing as it is heartwarming to continue learning of people and groups that are Praying for Paige.  As busy as so many of you are, we just can’t understand how you have the time or energy to turn aside to drop her a card, call, or visit. We both thank you.  Please know that all of you surround us with a blanket of love and caring. We are so very grateful to God, and each one of you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, May 19, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

We started this week in glorious form; On Mother’s Day we had lunch with Jennifer and her two children.  We ate at The Magnolia Room—which is a re-make of the old S & S Cafeteria that closed last year.  This is a smaller, crisp, cheerful cafeteria with very friendly and helpful staff.  It is very accessible for Paige in her wheelchair.  She enjoyed picking out her food and sitting comfortably.

Speaking of the wheelchair, this new one, though more comfortable and easier to use, is wider. Therefore, this week we had to put in a new, wider door in the bathroom. Now the wheels don’t scrape the paint off, and sound as if someone is s breaking in. Though noisy and dusty, there was minimal disruption and just for one day.

We made another change this week; we added security cameras to our alarm system.  The system allows us to view anyone who approaches. Occasionally it is necessary for me to leave Paige alone for a few minutes –when the caregiver is not here—to run a quick errand.  She always has her cell phone at hand as well as the house phone. So, although she cannot go to the door, she will be able to see who’s there, and if she is uncomfortable about it, can call even 911 or me. 

An event that urged us to this was last week was when a tree fell, the power grid went out, I had dashed out to meet my Bluegrass group The Altar Egos. Bailey, our Corgi, started barking like crazy.  Paige called Jennifer and she came immediately.  Turns out, it was neighbors gathered in the street to discuss the outage, but Paige could not see what excited Bailey.  It just helps to know what’s going on!

I don’t know if this is usual or not, but we’ve reached a point in this journey where we’ve accepted the long haul.  It is not gruesome, nor fearful.  It is just our daily lives.  Paige’s attitude is so positive and confident.  Of course, she has moments she calls her “Pity Party”—who wouldn’t—but she does not let them make a home in her head. She looks to each day with determination.  And, I have come to the point where I face each ministration for her to be a time to demonstrate my love for her.  I know I don’t tell her that enough, but I do so frequently.  We made that commitment at the altar of the Adel Methodist Church (Before the “United” became a part of its name) and that commitment is “…till death do us part.” It is not a “sentence”, it is a journey we chose to embark upon together, and plan to finish it together.

Thank you for your love and prayers.  Each one of you is a vital part of our life together.  You populate our journey.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, May 26, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Now that we are clearer on Paige’s diagnosis, and that it is degenerative, we have stronger motivation toward a specific target.  Her neurologist has prescribed a raft of therapies:  Physical Therapy (PT) Occupational Therapy (OT) and some other services that could benefit.  Paige is excited about the outlay of opportunities. And a great thing about this direction is that our insurance covers this!

So next week her favorite PT person will begin a series of twice-a-week therapy, and we’ll soon map out additional courses.  Although there is no cure for this Thing, nor medication for it, Paige does look forward to retaining as much of her abilities as possible and doing all she can not to lose any more.

Paige and I went to a presentation of “Smoke on the Mountain” presented by the Main Street Theatre here in Tucker. It was outstanding. It is a musical. It is funny. It is well done. Tucker is blessed to have such a great local drama company. Some of our acquaintances were in the production– and we didn’t even know it till we got there— other friends had told us about the production. They didn’t know knew anyone in MST either. We enjoyed it.

Recently I ran across this:   “Focus on the Bright Side–A good  ‘tude can keep your body humming. It may even slow signs of aging and helps you bounce back from illness. Notice what’s working in your life and make a plan to change what could be better. You want to appreciate what’s good and move forward.” (From WEB MD;) 

So, Family and friends, thank you for your love, support, and constant encouragement. We cherish all the blessings that come our way, especially your special ways of expression.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Well!! What a way to start our day!! Our laundry room was flooding this morning when I entered it, and water was gushing out of the cabinet under the sink.  I couldn’t see its source, so I cut off the water from the main line. Fortunately, a neighbor let us get some essential water for the bathroom and we got along OK.  My, my! it kicked our day askew. And. With no caregiver this day.

I came down to this bathroom to turn on the heater, to give Paige her sponge bath only to find the flood.  That threw our day into crisis mode. After contacting our plumber, Paige and I assessed our next steps.  I couldn’t neglect her, and I couldn’t neglect the lake of water. Paige said she was OK for now; Triage sent me to the water vacuum to prevent further destruction inside, and then to get Paige’s routine; Morning ablutions, Meds, and breakfast, (as she must have food with her medicines). Fortunately, the plumber arrived much before the four-hour window we were given. We were fortunate to be back up to speed by noon.

What we learned from this experience is that come what may, we roll with the punches and do what we can to land on our feet. We took all this in good humor, and Paige was a real trouper in this crisis. Actually, she rose even higher.  Jennifer and her two teens came over to take a load of stuff to Goodwill and to take some items stored in our garage to her classroom.  Paige was perched in her wheelchair in the garage, as our designated supervisor and encourager. She was undeterred by the chaos and noise of all the activity. 

All of this came after a week of re-start with Paige’s Therapies.  Her Neurologist prescribed a full complement of Therapies:  PT, OT, Speech, Nurse, and Social Worker.  The appointments started being set up this week, and you may remember the PT actually was initiated last week.  She had two sessions this week with him. It is going great, and Paige is excited about his work with her.

We were very happy this week that we had helped some friends who have a son who is handicapped. We had shared information about Paige’s wonderful shower chair. The dad came over to see if it would fit into their shower, before he purchased one like it, he had found. If something we have found to be helpful works for others, we are delighted!!

And now you know why this update is coming a day late. We were so worn out that Friday just slipped by—little did we know what Saturday would bring. But we feel so very blessed, and as I write this, we celebrate the help/support and prayers, both direct and implied.  You are so very dear to us!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, June 9, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

I often speak here of our “new normal.”  In the process of learning new tasks, such as medication regimens, hygiene procedures, and nutrition needs; things go easier when routines are established.  It not only helps with remembering steps to take, but also helps to establish more efficient if not comfortable moves. 

This quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson speaks to us;  “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.” We discover anew that habit, or helpful routines can eliminate a lot of stress.  You know what is coming; you are prepared, and a lot relieved. And, not surprisingly, some interruptions can be welcome— a kind of respite.

So, recalling our water crisis of last week, we discovered anew how useful considered habits are. Although it was a huge—nearly overwhelming—crisis, we lived through it successfully and landed on our feet.  Of course, we did not do so alone; The Plumber who arrived earlier than expected, a neighbor’s generous provision of emergency water, Jennifer and her teens, all pitching in, we ended the day, bruised but happy.

Occasionally, some of you tell us that we inspire or amaze you as we relate our journey. Just to be clear; to us, it doesn’t feel so. It feels like—-life. For us, the water crisis is metaphoric; you face what comes, you deal with it using resources you have and move forward with living.  God does not promise an easy road, nor promise to deliver us from difficulty, danger, or pain.  He does promise to be with us through these.

Wednesday our Caregiver, Janet, went to the hospital for a planned surgery and six-week recovery. She has a noncancerous tumor to be removed.  We are adjusting to her substitute.  She trained the sub briefly, so it was not a terribly abrupt change. Janet’s mother called this afternoon and said she came through surgery and is in recovery for two hours. She was grateful for the prayer we had with her for the surgery.         

And then something like this comes along:  Zachary’s Eagle Scout volunteers invaded our house and yard Thursday.  They came to help him stain the wood for his Eagle project. He will assemble his crew again Saturday at the site, to complete the project.  The weather was so pleasant, Paige was able to sit in her wheelchair on the front walk and observe this spectacle—ahem, I mean this project.  Then we all adjourned to our kitchen and much pizza was consumed by all!

We are so very blessed. We struggle, but not alone. Talk with anyone—I mean really talk—and you will discover that they, too, struggle at some level–some with more aplomb than others. So, together, we face life with the joy that we, as the old Gospel hymn goes, “…share our mutual woes, Our mutual burdens bear; And often for each other flows The sympathizing tear.” That kinda sums it up.  We love you all!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, June 16, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

I must tell you!! Our grandson, Zachary, and his Boy Scout volunteers—guided by his Life-to-Scout coach—finished his Eagle Scout project last Saturday.  Paige was able to observe the entire 7-hour event.  Jennifer ensconced Paige in the comfort of the Evansdale Elementary School lobby. From there in her wheelchair, she could sign in the volunteers. Also, she could watch all the activity in the courtyard through the windows.  She could see the new benches being installed for the outdoor classroom. Paige was thrilled to be part of this project. (Adults on-site is a requirement of Boy Scouting.)   

In our journey, the horizons we pay attention to are the basics; —our family and friends, medical needs and engagements, social events that are healthy (i.e., Sunday School/church, Book Club, UMW circle), and health maintenance. The rest we trust to others. We trust that the gas at the pump is gas and not buttermilk, the water in our pipes is safe, that the traffic lights work, and that life goes on apace. We watch only pleasant movies on TV and no news.

Please pardon us if we seem to take the “Pollyanna” approach to life. But the subtext is that our Faith in God and humanity is solid, and life is a glorious journey. Ours is just somewhat different. And we laugh a lot, too. As Eric Idle wrote;  “Levity is the opposite of gravity.”.

This week Paige has done battle with a summer cold.  The Kleenex supply is holding up.  I tried to tie a bucket under her nose but didn’t have anything hang it on. 😉  Otherwise, she is managing it very well.  Jennifer brought some OTC meds that gave symptomatic relief somewhat. We couldn’t make it without a little help from family and friends (and remember, Jesus said, “You are my friends.” )We think he meant us, too.

Paige and I went to Publix supermarket today. It was the first time in a year for her. As I rolled her up to checkout, the lady greeted her warmly and said, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in a long time! I remember you because you have such beautiful handwriting.” Paige always wrote a check, so her handwriting made a big impression! It is nice to be remembered— especially for this talent Paige always cherished—and misses immensely now.

But a greater joy than being remembered is to know and live among you our family and friends. We cherish all of you and are thankful for your encouraging support.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, June 23, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Lately Paige’s left foot has been trying to mimic her right foot— in that it won’t listen to her brain giving it instructions. It’s not bad, nor consistent.  It just decides not to move, or not move in the direction Paige directs it.  She’s not terribly disturbed about this, but it annoys her when it happens.

Otherwise, we continue apace.  Father’s Day rain brought only a slight delay for our celebrating.  Jennifer took us out to eat, and Melanie called with a long visit. It was as much a joyful day for Paige as for me. – And Paige is over her cold.

In “Opportunity,” Edward Sill speaks of a grumpy malcontent who complains about his own resources.  He complains that if he had as good a sword as the King’s son, he, too could be great in battle.  Sill ends by saying,

“Then came the king’s son, wounded, sore bestead,

And weaponless, and saw the broken sword,

Hilt-buried in the dry and trodden sand,

And ran and snatched it, and with battle shout

Lifted afresh he hewed his enemy down,

And saved a great cause that heroic day.”

It is easy to complain about the plight in which we might find ourselves.  Paige and I are neither holy, nor wholly pure.  Sometimes we complain.  Then very quickly we discover it’s a slippery slope, and we’re sounding like Eeyore. You know him –from Winnie-the-Poo– the pessimistic, gloomy, depressed, anhedonia, and old grey donkey —and immediately we know we’re not looking at a glass half empty, but a busted faucet—and it’s time for a ‘tude tune-up!

We are so very blessed; when we look over your addresses as we send out these updates—our spirits are replenished knowing of your love, your prayers, and the memories of shared pasts—well, most of them, anyway. (Orvin, I’m still pondering that Nimrod “coffin” from Demetree Rd.—well, yeah, we can laugh about that, too!) And, it blesses us reading comments from you, our family and friends—0 to these Emails along the way.  How in the  World do you have time do that? 

Thank you. So, what else could we be but joyful, and bask in the blessings lavished upon us.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, June 30, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

The Indomitable Paige started this week somewhat like an Olympic diver—she just sailed into the drink—so to speak.  Saturday, she (and I) spent the afternoon at our church helping two dear friends celebrate their 60^th wedding anniversary. She didn’t let the wheelchair, nor the press of the crowd deter her.

Then Sunday it was even more so; Sunday School, Worship, including both Vacation Bible School celebration and welcoming our new pastor, then a reception that followed. There, too, she was “in the thick of things.” People continue to praise her for her courage and sustainability.  I can only say, “She’s calm, cool, and a pain in the butt!”  (Well, not really a pain—-but I had to complete the trilogy. Tee Hee.) I must say, she remains quite positive; this is what researchers found about the benefits of staying positive:

1) Stay Positive; People who were pessimistic had a nearly 20 percent higher risk of dying over a 30-year period than those who were optimistic.

2) Track Gratitude; People who kept track of their gratitude once a week were more upbeat and had fewer physical complaints than others.

3) Change the brain; People who obsessively repeated negative thoughts and behaviors were able to change their unhealthy patterns—and their brain activity actually changed too. (-Mental Health America.)

But then, the Psalmist, Paul, and Jesus taught this truth thousands of years ago. It is good, however, to have their teachings affirmed by modern science and as a reminder that God provided us with these resources for the abundant life.

Paige did have a boo boo, though this week; while backing up with her Rollator, she stumbled and fell like a tree, against the wall. She didn’t break anything, nor have any serious damage; …(with apologies to Mercuitio in Romeo and Juliet.)”tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church-door; but ’tis enough. ‘Twill serve…” She was lucid throughout the spectacle, and the EMT crews (two crews came) got her up safely, checked her over thoroughly and deemed her OK.  She really never got all that sore.  Paige has only bruise marks; we are so very thankful that it caused no harm.  As I said above—“The Indomitable Paige.” 

Family and friends are tremendously meaningful to us; you cannot comprehend your significance.  A family serendipity occurred this week.  A cousin, Rev. Carrie Veal-Chewning and her husband Neal were in town for a conference.  They took the time to come visit with us.  It was “Old Home” week for us.  It blessed us beyond measure.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, July 7, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige’s fall last week caused no serious damage—unless to my reputation –– Her eye, nose, and hand are black and blue. Thankfully, she’s assuring folks I’m not a “wife-beater.” I promise—on a stack of Hershey bars—I did not hit her.  However, her Rollator did—on her face. In the rush we forgot about it until the bruises began to show.  We were focused on her fall and the knot on her head and forgot the Rollator had fallen on her.  We are so thankful the fall was not serious.

A new development:  Marty, Paige’s PT, taught her to walk down and up the entrance ramp using her Rollator. She was surprised that it was easier than she had feared.  Check off this step (pun intended.)

Lately I’ve seen—and heard— the term “In the Moment” used a good bit. The best definition I have found—or that suits Paige’s and my journey is this: “In the moment” means with a special focus on the present time. For example, ‘living in the moment,’ means paying special attention to what you’re doing at that particular time, as opposed to looking back on the past or planning for the future.

This is the matrix of our existence as we live out this Journey; 99% of the TV we watch is Hallmark channel(s). Occasionally, we watch weather news.  There is too much animus in news and talk shows. Is our avoidance taking the “Head-in-the-sand” approach?  We don’t think so.  For health reasons —mental and otherwise–, and possibly a sort of survival, this is a way we live “in the moment.”

This week, we visited with our good friend, Margie—who was in a horrible car accident some years ago and lost a leg, —and still having surgeries. Margie “lives in the moment,” too. It is rejuvenating to talk with her. She is not a “Pollyanna.” She is lucid about her situation, — life doesn’t get her down.  Again, I say unto you; your attitude is the only thing you can control.  Margie is living proof of that.  Paige and I feel good all over after a visit with Margie.

We are training a new substitute caregiver this week.  The process has gone rather smoothly. Adjusting to a new caregiver is not like shopping for a new car; you kick the tires, drive it around the block and sign the papers. A caregiver is a person, a professional, and a window to the world—sometimes with views you haven’t seen before.

Janet, our regular, is healing from surgery. She still has a couple of weeks before getting the “go/no-go” from her doctor. It is, however, nice to have a compatible caregiver till Janet gets back.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, July 14, 2017

Here we are, almost eleven months after the ER visit and hospital admission that launched us smack into this Parkinson’s journey. We cannot believe how far Paige has come.  The disease remains and has not let up. Paige’s management of it is light years beyond—and, we understand it a tad better. (And for the record, this makes my 45^th installment of the Update on Paige.  A little research reveals that 87.2% of those who read this are awake.)

When Paige and I married—almost 54 years ago—we would say to each other, “One lifetime won’t be enough.” Now, we’re convinced it is true. This passage from The Velveteen Rabbit makes it “REAL” for us:

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

 “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/144974.The_Velveteen_Rabbit

Another bright spot; Paige had her annual vision checkup—we were even able to get her into examination chairs (twice.) The report was very good! We are thankful.  And, she got an upgrade on her iPhone.  It is larger, easier to manage, and will be an asset for keeping in touch. Her fingers barely managed the small one she was using.  She is excited that she will not have to struggle as much touching the keys.

Our friend Toni came over with Haagen-Dazs® Ice Cream and spent time with Paige—which was even more welcomed than the Ice Cream. She, like so many of you, finds ways to bless our lives.  We are immensely grateful.  Toni suggested this “visit-gift” so I could go jam with my Bluegrass group (The Altar Egos.)  We think we’ll play in church again some time before long.

So, to you, our family and friends, thank you for loving us.  You are very dear to us. We are among all people richly blessed!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, July 21, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige’s “damages” from her fall a few weeks ago have about cleared up.  The bruise marks have gone, and her knee is, though tender, about back to normal.  Thank you for your prayers for her healing.

Marty, her PT guy is encouraged about her progress toward independence. She is getting better arising from her lift-chair and transferring to her Rollator. Then, as needed, transferring to her wheelchair.  Mostly for getting around the house, she walks, using the Rollator.  One day this week I was puttering in the kitchen and heard a noise—I turned around and saw her walking though.  She said, “I’m going to the bathroom. You can help me there.” It is good to see her independence returning.

Paige is enjoying our going to Sunday School AND worship regularly now. We discovered a “Family Restroom” behind the Choir Room. (That facility needs to be publicized.) It is a large room—big enough for wheelchairs and caregivers together.  The facilities are up to ADA standards. 

So, between Sunday School and church, we have a chance to give her a pit stop. Besides the opportunity for worship, she has a chance to visit with friends and meet people.

Paige and I have discovered—and in some cases re-discovered— that some of you deal with care of a family member every day. Some are facing less difficulty than others. Our prayers are with you.  Though each circumstance is different, we all come to understand dealing with “…the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.”

One could view as onerous, having a family member incapacitated and needing 24/7 care.  Not so for someone you love.  I recall these lyrics;  

“The road is long, With many a winding turn, that leads us to who knows where.

 But I’m strong, Strong enough to carry him. He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.” –

(click on the “Play” button to hear the song)

–and in the words of the Apostle Paul,

“…Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. It is, in fact, the one thing that still stands when all else has fallen.” (I Cor. 13:7-8 JBP)

Paige and I view our circumstances as opportunities; to be together, to appreciate what we have, to grow in compassion for others, and to share. Because of you, our family and friends, it certainly heightens our awareness that we are not alone. It also deepens our gratitude that you, our family and friends, invest your lives into ours so much. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, July 28, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Some big update items:

1. JANET IS BACK!  Our excellent caregiver Janet, is back, recovered from surgery 6 weeks ago.  We don’t know who is happier, Janet or Paige and Me.  My lot is cast on “The Moore’s.”  Although Maria was a very good substitute, she was nothing like the familiar golden girl, Janet. It is so good to have someone who is not only good, but also giggles and laughs with us— our fun, foibles, and fumbles.
2. We were exulting over Paige’s recovery from her fall a few weeks ago then—she fell again. This time she lost her balance on her Rollator in the den and fell backwards like a tree. This fall only jarred her, and Advil kept her from serious soreness.  The outcome, however, is that she’s working on conquering her fear of falling. Maria, our substitute caregiver said, “Ms. Moore, you have the best fight spirit. When you fall you get right back up and go again. Many people just give up.”
3. We can relax now—Zachary has turned in his application for Eagle Scout—nearly a week before his 18^th birthday (the “drop dead deadline.”) Now “It’s all over but the shout’n.”

Paige and I— though anticipating the successful culmination of these three— have kept aware that we are not ignoring the present in the meantime but Living in the Moment. We cherish each moment of each day. We prefer to rise above William Wordsworth’s dystopian muse:   

“The world is too much with us; late and soon,

Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers; —

Little we see in Nature that is ours;

We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!”

            -William Wordsworth

Each day we find reasons to be thankful. We choose to focus on what we can do; —as Maria observed after Paige’s last fall. That’s kinda’ good for all of us, I think. When we make this intentional choice—and it’s not a one-time thing, but sometimes several times a day—we discover new reasons to be thankful. It may seem trivial to others, to be thankful finding, for example, a “Handicapped Parking” space near our destination. (You’d be surprised how important and cherished that is!) We try to rejoice in all things.

This has been a wonderful week, all told. The good things far outweigh the not so good. The joy we feel seeps in around any rough edges and refreshes the dry places.  So, to you family and friends, we thank you for your prayers and love. Our love for you grows daily.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

August 4, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

            Well, mystery solved—we think; recently, an unsightly and irritating rash on her face has plagued Paige. Earlier Dermatologist visits brought some relief, but it came back “with an attitude”—so much so that Paige was on the verge of avoiding going into public. Dr. Kim (as Katie would say, “the real Doctor,”—not the PA) saw Paige, and diagnosed “Seborrhea Dermatitis.” She said it is a common companion to Parkinson’s disease. It’s related to the Dandruff family—Jennifer whimsically asked, “So, you’ll be washing your face in Head ‘n Shoulders?” Actually, one of the prescriptions Paige will be using is a medical shampoo.

Paige is trying the three prescriptions and leaving off all makeup. We feel relieved that the culprit has been named and treatment seems to help. We’re also very thankful that Dr. Kim worked us into her schedule—and on Monday! It usually takes weeks to get in with her. Dr. Kim popped Paige in right after lunch! Praise God!

Paige’s Neurologist appointment was also this week. Basically, it was a good visit.  However one thing he said disturbed her. After six months with no falls, she had three in July. The doctor said, “Once the falls start they tend to increase. You are at great risk for falls.”

Later that day, she discussed this with Marty, her Physical Therapist. He said, “You need to focus on how far you have come. You are a fall risk, but you can do a great deal for yourself.  We simply need to be sure someone is near you to assist as needed.” Marty’s affirmation helped her spirits a great deal bringing perspective into focus.

Paige and I were blessed last weekend by a visit with our friends, Al and Dottie Coltrane.  They came over from Alabama for a funeral—a day early so they could visit with us and another couple. Al is battling Macular Degeneration—with some success so far.  They bless our lives so much. Dottie and Paige were in Book Club together.  Al and I were in the rotation teaching Sunday School in the Joyful Class. We also played in the Bluegrass group, the “Altar Egos.” When Paige was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Dottie sent her a card, enclosing a small ceramic turtle.  The message on the turtle’s shell is “One Day At A Time.” Paige kept that turtle on her bedside table throughout her 7 weeks away in rehab.  At home, it has its place in our den.

As I often say, it is you, our family and friends that give such warmth and joy to Paige and me. Thank you for your love and prayers!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

August 11, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige had her appointment at the Emory Brain Health Center this week with Dr. Juncos. He is concerned that her left side seems to show some diminished use. Therefore, he has prescribed specialized in-house physical and occupational therapy for her upper body, both arms in particular. He is quite pleased that her memory and mental acuity remain strong. He seems to enjoy conversational interchange with Paige.  (He likes her smile, too!)

I love it when, upon transferring from the wheelchair to car, or to lift-chair, or bed, we get it all wrong.  Though not a crisis, or danger, we just stop and erupt in laughter at ourselves;— we’re like the Keystone Cops (some of you are not old enough to remember them—you’ll just have to guess.)  😉 We then regroup and have another go at it. It is times like these that oil the wheels on our journey. We choose to make the best of time.

Time is elusive. Early in these posts, I mentioned the plaque on Paige’s home computer; “The Past is History, the Future is a Mystery, Today is a Gift.  That’s why it is called The Present.” Paige and I are learning to enjoy “The Gift.” Living with Parkinson’s, teaches us to do so.  Or as I said in an earlier, Update—we live “In The Moment.” So, as much as time is measured in nanoseconds by commerce, time is also at once, static, fluid, and elusive.

I suppose approaching the one-year mark of the official diagnosis of Parkinson’s confirms our choice to live “In the Moment.” We tend to notice things that really are important. We do not squander our present on the fog of the future, nor stew in disquietude over the past.  Recently, in THE UPPER ROOM, Psalm 118.24 was referenced: “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Paige said, “That is how I like to begin each day!”

Without sounding preachy, for us— the operative words are, “This is the day… rejoice IN (emphasis ours) it…”—not always for it—as in a pain-filled day, or a day when that serves up difficulties. But it is a “…day the Lord has made.” And it is our day.

Of course Paige does get “down” sometimes. Usually it happens when she remembers she cannot write. Or prepare the delicious food we’ve become so accustomed from her. Then, she has a few minutes of a “Pity Party,” as she calls it. I back off, and let her have the moment. In a little while, she, like a prizefighter on the ropes, is back up and swinging at this disease.  Although it maintains its hegemony over her body, it has no grip on her spirit. She claims the joy and laughter in our lives, and seizes hold on life and living it fully.

So, remember, your love and prayers matter.  We are grateful to you!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

August 13, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

            Please Pardon Paige and me as we “interrupt” our usual updates with the proud grandparents’ announcement of Zachary’s having obtained his rank of Eagle! Yesterday.

Notice that proud mom standing with him.  Due to space limitations, I didn’t include a pic of him hugging his Nana, but she was present for the event—cheering him on then and in his entire Scouting career.

The Eagle Board of Review for the Hightower District interviewed him and made the award Sunday the 13^th, and the Troop celebration will be in the early Fall. Zachary is the first in his Patrol (for you non-Scouters, that’s the subgroup a Scout “grows up with” as he moves up the ranks.) All the rest of his Patrol will have obtained Eagle rank by the end of this year.  They “lost” only one member along the way— to music—but that Scout was quite musically gifted!)

Many of you have been with us all along during Zachary’s Scouting achievements, and if I know you —you have been part of the “Prayer Patrol” (you didn’t know you were on THAT patrol, did you?)  Thank you for your love and prayers for Zachary.  He achieved this while lettering in three sports, playing saxophone, acing Advance Placement courses, and being a great son to his mom!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

August 18, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Just this afternoon, Paige was assigned appointments at the Emory Brain Health Center for evaluation.  The first evaluation is for Occupational Therapy; apparently it is primarily to focus on her range of motion etc. —upper body.  The Physical Therapy apparently will focus on ambulatory function.  We’ll know more after September 12.

Paige and I are thankful for little tweaks we discover or are placed in our pathway. Some make greater impact than others and they all add to the landscape of this journey. Recently Jennifer added a very helpful “tweak” for Paige’s mobilization. A typical characteristic of this disease is the “Freeze.”  From time to time, for no apparent reason, her foot, or feet, or hand or arm will “Freeze.” That is, mentally she is telling her foot to move, as in to step, or stand, or reposition.  But nothing happens. No matter how much she wants or needs that appendage to respond, it simply stays put. 

Jennifer is a teacher of gifted children.  She discovered that when a student of hers gets emotionally distraught, — frozen in an emotional focus— she directs the child to use a part of the brain that does not deal with emotion.  Doing math is a classic means.  It unlocks the freeze and the child can function normally right away.

So, Jennifer taught Paige to “do math” when she has a freeze.  “Count by two’s to 16 or above,” Jennifer said.  Now, Paige does that, and “Bingo!” it works every time. I won’t recount the many other tweaks we’ve employed over the past year. Each one adds to the ease, convenience, or stress relief Paige incorporates into her Journey.

I frequently speak of our circumstances as a “journey.” A trip has a destination.  A journey does not necessarily have a destination. A Journey is different. The Oxford English Dictionary defines a journey as “a long and often difficult process of personal change and development.” Nuff said. So, to you who have joined us on this journey—some of you sooner than others— we are discovering significant collateral associations among you; 1) Many of you identify with us on various levels and say so; 2) Some of you are travelling journeys —often much more difficult than ours. And 3) Some of you are family. Just as you are praying for us, so we are praying for you.

Paige and I cherish all of you. Please know that we do not take for granted your place in lives as we journey together. It blesses Paige, and in turn, me, to know that your prayers and comments are not perfunctory. Sometimes we wish all of you knew each other. Because knowing and having each of you in our circle of family and friends is a gift of the highest order.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

August 25, 2017

Dear Family and Fiends,

            Just in case you’re wondering, Paige and I only send this to family and friends who have requested the updates.  So, if you did not request these, and/or wish to disabuse yourselves of them, just let us know.  No questions asked.

We enjoyed a celebration of our 54^th Wedding anniversary over the weekend:

1. Melanie was here from Austin, Texas (Stephanie was on call at the hospital, Micah has returned to Colorado State U for her sophomore year, and Quinn is deeply involved in his next step toward independence.)
2. Paige enjoyed outings on Saturday; Melanie took us to the Forum for lunch at Jason’s Deli and shopping.
3. Melanie took Paige, Katie, and Zachary to Dragon Bowl for dinner—I was allowed to tag along.
4. Melanie attended Sunday School and Worship with us on Sunday.
5. Jennifer, Katie, Zachary, and Melanie treated us to a grill-out on Sunday night and cake and ice cream desert. Paige felt good and thoroughly loved it.

Melanie returned to Austin on Tuesday morning, and Jennifer is back into the routines of her teaching job at Morningside Elementary School, where she teaches gifted students. The celebrating was exciting, and Paige enjoyed every moment of it. Nevertheless, it is good that the rest of the week has been rather calm.  We are very grateful that Paige was able to enjoy every moment of the celebration, and we now bask in remembering our time with most of our immediate family.

This Update was delayed due to generous Internet Technology assistance from our neighbor, Paul.  He and his wife visited this evening, and while he and I worked on some IT stuff, Jenni and Paige had good visit. Paul installed a RING ™ doorbell. It allows Paige, or me to see who’s at the door, and talk with them— via our cell phones, wherever we are.  This adds an extra level of security and comfort to Paige. We never cease to be amazed at the care and generosity of our family, friends, and neighbors.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

September 1, 2017

It was August a year ago that Paige had the first of her two disastrous falls. With 20-20 Hindsight, we now see that Parkinson’s was already making its deep inroads. We see how her “balance issues” as we called them were becoming more intrusive. There were ominous dark clouds inching their icy fingers around, threatening to do us. Very much a portent of a Macbeth-like mood after the death of his wife as he took a dim view of the meaning of life:  “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day…”

But, Paige and I choose to see sunsets rather than puddles; they both are realities, but we have a choice of where we focus.  Over the past twelve months, we have chosen to focus on the reality of what we do have, what we can do. (I say, “we” because we both are inexorably immersed in this journey.) As I mentioned in an earlier UPdate, living “in the Moment” gives life a better perspective, and opens windows to gratitude and appreciation

Sometimes Paige is happily overcome by a gesture, or kindness given her by one of you, or another acquaintance. Usually it comes as serendipity and makes her (and my) heart glad. Maybe sometime I’ll tell you the story of my mother and a severely handicapped man, Billy Tucker. It’s where my mother learned that only YOU control your attitude. To wit, we too follow Billy Tucker’s spirit. In one of the first UPdates I used a quote from poet, John Dryden;

“I am sore wounded but not slain

I will lay me down and bleed a while

And then rise up to fight again”

That attitude, and being ensconced firmly in our Faith, saw us through a number of rough patches on this journey. We find joy in knowing that prayers have been, and are offered on Paige’s behalf. You notice small things that bless your day. Such moments of pure joy propel us to new heights. Sometimes, it’s a moment of insight that invigorates us; as in when you’re walking along a dark road at night. Suddenly there’s a flash of lightening. The whole landscape lights up, and you see the path clearly. Then, confidently go on. 

Back to Macbeth; in that same soliloquy, he said of life,” It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Paige and I refuse to be sucked into such a dystopian attitude toward life. Instead, Paige and I prefer to say, “This is the day the Lord has made.  We will rejoice in it and be glad.”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

September 8, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

This UPdate will be short. Our week was smashed with the news that we lost our nephew, Adam Harrell, to suicide early in the week. I have been asked to preach the memorial message on Sunday.

Otherwise, Paige is having a good week. But is torn by this tragic event. She and I will travel to Adel Saturday and stay with good friends (a high school classmate and his wife) for the service on Sunday.  Jennifer is going —both to help take care of Paige, and to be with her cousin, the mother of Adam.

Thank you for your prayers. We’ll have more news for you next week.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

September 15, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

As you may remember from last week, we had a huge challenge;

1. We travelled to Adel for the funeral of our nephew, an Army Ranger who completed suicide.  As family, and as a Military Chaplain, I was asked to preach the funeral. The family said the message was helpful
2. Jennifer was immensely helpful.  She drove for us, was a “Handmaiden” to Paige in enormously helpful ways. She even navigated through two or three non-functioning “handicap” equipped bathrooms for Paige. I said, “Handicap equipped,” because not all are built to ADA standards—which can pose significant problems.
3. Although all this occurred in the midst of that catawampus storm, Hurricane Irma, we faired very well. Good friends, Wayne and Dorothy Mitchell of Adel, proffered their home while we were there. Not only was it great to visit with them, it allowed immense breathing space during this difficult time.—and through constant rain, we were able to get Paige out of and into the car —wheelchair and all— in their spacious garage.
4. Paige was able to manage the travel very well. It is taking some time to get over it.  We think breaking our routine, and the toll it took on her is making it something of a challenge to regain her confidence here at home. But as usual, she comes forth with determination.
5. Here at home, we continued to suffer the encroaching—the now tropical storm Irma; It rained for three days, but Thank the Lord, our power did not go out. It did for many, including Jennifer’s Townhouse. A downed power line blocked their cars in for a couple of days.  Trees were down all around.
6. Janet, our caregiver, was not able to get out and help for two days, but was able to come on Wednesday.
7. Thursday, I was able to get the rest of the detritus off our walks, driveway, and deck.  Fortunately Jennifer and I had anchored our deck furniture and garbage cans, so nothing blew away, nor crashed into anything.
8. Now, when we’re ensconced in our home, we will attend the funeral of Alex, a Soccer buddy of our Granddaughter’s — completed Suicide.

So, this has been a tough week, emotionally and physically.  We abide in the secure knowledge that we and Alex’s friends are firmly embraced by friends, our church, , community, and Heavenly Father.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

September 21, 2017

Wow! I can now understand how last week virtually buried an anniversary of sorts. Two suicides (one in our family and one in our church family), a hurricane of historic proportions, and the longest trip Paige has made in over a year. The  “anniversary? It was that a year ago last week Paige was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. The diagnosis threw back curtain on Paige’s “Balance problems.”

September 10, 2016, in a final trip to ER, the diagnosis came from a Neurologist. Paige was hospitalized, then transferred to Golden Living, a residential rehabilitation facility. She spent 7 weeks in rehab before being able to return home.  It was during that time that I started the weekly UPdates on Paige. So, I won’t belabor it (For those of you joining the UP-dates later and want more detail; E-mail me separately.)

Looking back, we see how far she has come. Upon being hospitalized and having a specific diagnosis Paige still had a long way to go. There was an adjustment period for the new medications. Upon arriving home, we had more accessible improvements to make; a satisfactory shower chair, a wheelchair- compatible bathroom door, a lower bed, etc.

For a brief period, we had morning and evening caregivers. Janet, the morning caregiver is still with us. After I became competent enough safely to manage getting Paige into the bed at night, we dropped the evening caregiver. Since then Paige and I have managed with just one caregiver.      

We have learned a lot, and our now familiar routines help our daily living run more smoothly. For most of you, this is a reminder, but for family and friends who lately began receiving the UP-dates it brings you up to date. This has been an eventful year.

We have been sustained, loved, cared for, and otherwise given hope by you, our family and friends.  Your visits, calls, cards, and otherwise attentive gestures have held us firmly in God’s hands.  In a word, you are angels. We are immensely grateful. We do not know the future, but how can we be downhearted with support such as this. Thank you for your loving support.

We now move into this next year of Parkinson’s. We look forward the prospect of deeper involvement with the Emory University Brain Health Center. Pray for Paige and the staff that she will be blessed with comfort, joy, and hope.

As you may have seen, this month has been especially tough on Paige. She feels that she is regressing. I could be in denial, thinking it comes from an almost perfect storm of emotions. So Pray for us, that we may see things in perspective.   

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

September 29, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I ask for your specific prayers. Recently, the “Freeze-in-place” phenomenon —-typical of Parkinson’s—seems to have gotten worse. Today, even with our help, she stumbled, but did not fall. Such an experience draws out a fear of falling. I borrowed a smaller, lightweight Rollator from FODAC and she tried it a few days. Then she moved back to her larger, more stable one. Nevertheless, she feels that she is declining.

Paige did subdue—–somewhat— the fear of falling in another experience recently. For about two weeks, she would not use her Rollator, due to such a fear. Today the fear arose from transition from her chair to the wheelchair, —and in/out car transitions. If you have ever had a disastrous fall, then you can appreciate the fear it can instill.  It eats away at your self-confidence.

So, as we approach the weekend, I’m giving you something specific to offer in your prayer concerns for yourself, Sunday School class, and church. Though our Journey is eons away from Job’s suffering, ours is an isolating experience.

“Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights.

  No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.” – Job 2:13

–And, we deeply appreciate your “sitting on the ground with (us)” –Yours, and the Presence of God keep our spirits going. When Paige or I have our low places, we can’t let them last too long, for —in a myriad of ways—we discover we are not forgotten. Thank you for your encouragement.       

In Sunday School this week the question arose, “When have you felt the Presence of the Holy Spirit?”  Paige’s response was, “When I received the diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease, I felt the Holy Spirit through a sense of peace.” Her comment was a powerful testimony of the assurance and Eternal security through the Presence of the Holy Spirit. You cannot manufacture these moments, but when they do come they illuminate our pathway.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis      

October 6, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

You may recall, last week I sent you a Prayer request for Paige; in that the past couple of weeks had been difficult. I am happy to report that within 24 hours of my having sent that request in the UPdate, Paige began to feel more stable, and her confidence began to pick up. 

In addition, we were able to get in-home PT started again—until the Emory Brain Health Center conducts the PT/OT evaluation. Marty, the PT guy came 3 times this week. He will try to work in 3 times each week until the Emory events kick in.  Marty is an excellent motivator, and has a way about him that makes critique sound like a compliment—helps Paige a lot!

So, we take it as it comes, and move forward.  Reminds me of what Brutus said in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar:

There is a tide in the affairs of men, which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures.

Thus far, such opportunities we have taken have been mostly benefits—maybe not in terms of removing Parkinson’s, but in all-around quality of life. In addition, new experiences make life just plain interesting.

Yesterday we had a close call — a kinda-sorta-melting; Remember the melting of “The Wicked Witch of the West”– ala “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz?”

Well, Paige had sort of fall yesterday. Technically, she did fall. In fact, she just melted to the floor, due to my abortive attempt to adjust her Rollator—with her in it! The Firemen came and picked her up and checked her thoroughly.   Fortunately she was not injured—not even bruised. Jennifer said I need to learn to “Stop, think, and adjust” when Paige has such an issue, even a minor one.  She’s right, of course.

Well, we’re grateful for all the input that any of you give that helps us on our journey. Onward we go!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

October 13, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

As I write these Updates, Paige and I are aware that you, too, are dealing with something— Some of the issues you wrestle with, we know about.  Others, we just realize —knowing life has its challenges. Though you may not speak up, you, to face, or have faced challenges.

Having said that, realize that we all may sometimes feel something like

Caliban in the Coal Mines

(From “Challenge”)   -By Louis Untermeyer

GOD, we don’t like to complain—    

  We know that the mine is no lark—          

But—there’s the pools from the rain;          

  But—there’s the cold and the dark.

God, You don’t know what it is—             

  You, in Your well-lighted sky,         

Watching the meteors whizz;           

  Warm, with the sun always by.       

 God, if You had but the moon          

  Stuck in Your cap for a lamp,                 

Even You’d tire of it soon,     

  Down in the dark and the damp.    

Nothing but blackness above,           

  And nothing that moves but the cars—     

God, if You wish for our love,        

  Fling us a handful of stars!

But praises be— God did fling us much more than “a handful of stars.” Calaban is a reminder that we can get bogged down in “the cold and the dark.” Paige and I like to remember the Psalmists’ assurance that “…though (we) walk through the valley of the shadow of death, (we) will fear no evil: for thou art with (us); thy rod and thy staff they comfort…”

Paige and I remind you (the one reading this) that you are part of God’s provision of comfort to us.  We say a resounding “Thank You!!”  So many of you let us know—in so many ways—that you are there for us. We trust that you know that our friendship, prayers, and writings reciprocate. It is as Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. “

So, we completed a rewarding week, —nothing extraordinary—but a week filled with significance. (There was help from Jennifer, Zachary, Katie, Melanie, Stephanie, and friends, cards and E-mails from prayer groups and happy conversations.) We bask in the awareness that we are enfolded in love.  (And two loving Corgis at my feet as I write ths!)

In Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

October 20, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

We have to tell you; Our Sunday School class is tops! They make Paige welcome, do all kinds of thoughtful things for Paige, and — she has a special chair in the room so she doesn’t have to sit in the wheelchair, nor in a brutal metal chair.  Also, the media person in the class forwards these Updates to all class members.

These things matter, because as Parkinson’s disease flails away at Paige’s body, her world becomes smaller and smaller. This occurs on two levels: 1) the physical limitations of movement (both bodily and geographic) and 2) Loss of interpersonal activity (some people tend to avoid a handicapped person, partly because they don’t know how to relate to them. Well.  Just be you.) Comments from you are euphony to Paige, and a blessed gift. It’s like Walt Whitman wrote: “Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.”

So.  This is another way we are saying “Thank you” to you, our family and friends. You keep us in your circle and it is tonic for Paige.  By the way, we have no idea who all gets this UPdate. (Our list only includes some family and friends who have requested it.) We know of a few groups that disburse it to their members. We are grateful that so many care and pray for Paige.

Now. For the Update: Paige had Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy evaluations at the Emory Brain Health Center this week. They have determined that she could benefit from PT three times a week and OT –in-house, twice a week.  It will be November 16 before the first PT can be scheduled, and November 21 before both OT and PT can be scheduled.  After that they are working on getting them set on a schedule back to back so we won’t have to make a trip there for each one. We are very grateful for the compassion and willingness the staff has to work to make our schedule more convenient. Of course, we will be working this into already scheduled doctors’ visits, book club, UMW Circle, etc.

We look forward to these new developments’ helping keep Paige from losing more of her mobility and range of motion.  Thank you for your continued prayers and concern.

In Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

October 27, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Last week was the one-year anniversary of Janet, our caregivers’ arrival on this journey. We took her out for a luncheon at Red Lobster. She is a Godsend! We can’t tell you how meaningful it is to have one who is so compatible—for the many intimate, unpleasant, demanding (etc., etc.) expectations of this job—which she takes on in a joyful spirit.  What a boost to Paige.

Paige often says, “Getting older is not for sissies.”  Not original with her but absolutely true! I recently read the following— (it may not be a fact but it sounds true)– “Each year, hundreds of trees grow because squirrels forget where they buried their food.” So, we older folk aren’t the only ones of God’s creatures that forget things! Good can come in unexpected ways.

Paige amazes me; She maintains such a positive attitude.  When something challenges her, like trying to eat certain foods—and they fall off her fork, or she tries to fold clothes and her hands won’t obey her mind, she may weep a bit, but in a few minutes reclaims her composure and sallies forth (or fifth.)  Among the toughest losses she has experienced are handwriting, holding a book, and cooking. She still tries to do some of these things, and when her body doesn’t respond to her mental commands, it brings up sadness.

Nevertheless, she rises very soon —and I don’t mean days later— she is back up and going. I don’t think I would handle these dramatic life changes nearly as well as she does. I’m learning to embrace her attitude of “nevertheless” and move on with a different or new turn. As an example of moving on— when I am out of voice range, in the laundry room or walking Bailey, etc. and she needs me. Melanie helped solve that problem. She sent us a very sensitive and strong digital baby monitor.  It sits beside Paige, and I carry a transceiver on my belt. She can call me—hands-free. I can make a voice response, and get to her ASAP.  It beats all other devices we have tried—even a different brand baby monitor.

I am particularly happy that Paige views this journey as yet another trail we must follow, and not a moribund saga. With apologies to Robert frost—for being somewhat out of context— “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by…” Paige and I have discovered that the “…one less traveled by…” is also an interesting one though not our chosen one. However, all along the way we are discovering many blessings. You are among those blessings. Thank you. We are also developing coping skills we never expected to have or need.

Our Faith, Family, and Friends bear us up. We couldn’t survive with this combo.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

November 3, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige had a longing to visit the North Georgia Mountains.  We arranged with Janet, her caregiver, to have a full day to accompany us and we drove to Helen, GA. It was a marvelous trip, though not as thrilling as we had hoped—the leaves had yet to reach their spectacular array of colors. Nevertheless it was a pretty day and the traffic was light. Janet was a treasure, making the trip quite comfortably manageable. There was a lot we enjoyed.  It was a good trip though tiring for Paige.

Another highlight of this week was the joint celebration of granddaughter Katie’s and my birthdays. Paige supervised picking out the cake at Publix and the birthday message on it.  Paige liked the “Community Q BBQ” dinner we thoroughly enjoyed together.

From time to time, one of you, who receives this UPdate, replies to us (Thank you for clicking “Reply” and not “Reply All”— it avoids confusion, not to mention keeping it confidential.) And, thank you for each personal reply. Thus, we are aware more specifically of the journey you, too, are navigating. As Paige often says, “Everybody is dealing with something.” I have the recipient list on my iPhone, and use it in my prayers.  I recall that Jesus said; “On this earth you will have trouble but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Recently I was listening to the old song “Somebody to Lean O(Remember the refrain; “…we all need somebody to lean on!”.) It reminds me that as we all lean together, our journey is somewhat easier. Maybe we see in each other something of what Lord Alfred Tennyson said in “Ulysses”

Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

It’s all a part of the journey. If you quit, it is over. But hope says persevere. I remember another victory–a Georgia-Florida football game: many Georgia fans had given up and were leaving the stands. But the team had not quit.  Buck Blue stepped back, shot a rifle-pass to Lindsay Scott, who ran the field for the winning touchdown—got Larry Munson so excited—shouting “Lindsay Scott, Lindsay Scott…” he broke his chair in mid broadcast.

Again I say, never give up!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

November 10, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

We made a couple of helpful adjustments for Paige’s comfort and safety.  After a few falls recently —thankfully no serious injury—we now use the “Gait Belt” consistently.  It helps her feel more stable in transitions from sitting to walking with the Rollator etc. It also gives Janet, her caregiver and me, a better grip on her to prevent falling. Part of her fear occurs when a “foot-freeze” develops which frustrates her. Mentally she knows to move her foot, but the disconnect between thought and the action necessary provokes disorientation. It takes mental gymnastics to untangle such entrapment.

Another helpful change is an appliance for her right ankle, her weakest. We bought a sports ankle-support from Dick’s Sporting Goods (“Shock Doctor Sports Therapy ™”.) Trim like an Ace bandage, it holds tightly with three crisscrossing straps, and laced up like a logger’s boot. Sounds like a Medieval Torture instrument, but she really feels more stable and comfortable in it. Recent falls caused ankle pain, making her less stable and more terrified of falling. We do what we can to lessen her fears.

Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote,

 “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

Paige longs to be useful and make a difference, and tries so at every opportunity.  We had planned –with the help of Katie and Zachary—to participate in the Halloween “Trunk or Treat” at Embry Hills UMC. But foul weather put the kibosh on those plans. However, we were delighted that Katie and Zachary had so eagerly agreed to help. Maybe next year?

As you can see, we are learning that Paige’s version of Parkinson’s disease does not present as archetypical. As we have indicated, one of Paige’s Neurologists calls hers a “Parkinsonism”—some Parkinson’s, some other presentments. Doesn’t make it any easier to navigate, but sure does make it interesting! So— we try to keep perspective. Charles R. Swindoll wrote, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

Thus day-by-day Paige and I choose how we receive each turn in this Journey.  I like the passage Paige recalls on a regular basis:  “This is the day the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it!”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

November 17, 2017 – DRAFT from Nov. 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

It is easy to wish that difficult things were not upon us.  As Orlando said in As You Like It,  “How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes!” Paige and I work at seeking joy and happiness through our own eyes. It is a day-by-day matter— doesn’t come naturally It is a choice.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

November 17, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, this was an eventful week!  After a few falls, Sunday night Paige’s knee buckled and she fell again.  We called EMS to get her up and into bed. Monday she had an appointment with the Neurologist—who made the initial Parkinson’s diagnosis. Fortunately, in sufficient time,  we discovered Paige could not get into our car for this appointment.  We called a non-emergency Medical Transport that promptly took her there.

After examining her, the Neurologist suspected that a stroke might have caused the ankle to buckle. He promptly sent her to the Emory at St. Joseph’s Emergency Room. Paige was admitted to the hospital right away.  She had MRIs on her back and head, and an X-ray on her ankle. It was determined that no stroke had occurred nor was any damage to her ankle.  The conclusion; the sudden weakness in her ankle is Parkinson’s insinuating its assault on her body.

Paige was dismissed from St Joseph’s hospital on Thursday. We now have weekend caregivers and evening caregivers to assist in her bedtime regimen. We acquired a mechanical lift to assist in bed-to-wheelchair- and-back and into bed safely. Some other safety matters are in place at home; Grab-bars, ramp vs. steps, widened door, etc.

Paige is a real trouper through it all. The indignities, inconvenience and incapacities in certain areas only slow her momentarily.  She sheds a few tears, grits her teeth and soldiers on. She and I are determined to squeeze out and savor every blessing and serendipity we can find.

As we approach this weekend, we are navigating some dramatically altered regimens. Supplies have been moved to more convenient locations to accommodate these changes. Bedtime and morning ablutions are being adjusted around medicine schedules.

Daily we are finding blessings. Even the near disaster of obtaining a mechanical lift turned out to be quite a blessing. The remaining puzzle, is establishing new schedules for caregivers. We are so very thankful that today Paige’s legs are getting stronger following the days in the hospital.

With Love and gratitude,

Paige and Willis

November 24, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

This has been something of a different, but good week.  Paige had Physical Therapy and Occupational Therapy at the Emory Brain Health Center.  The staff showed not only strong professionalism helping with Paige’s transitions, but also let her know she matters. Paige even learned to stand using the grab bar, as she did before her last fall. She is now on a regular PT/OT schedule, and her therapists are easy to work with. The non-emergency transport we use does a great job, however Melanie is working on our enrolling in Marta Mobility. It is a whole lot less expensive than private transportation. Nevertheless, PT staff says they will, among other things, get her back into our car eventually.

Thanksgiving Day was great.  Paige and I made our traditional dressing to accompany the meal.  She, directing from her wheel chair, and me assembling the spectacle in fits and starts.  However, it turned out great— and we roasted the turkey. Jennifer did the rest of the meal. It was a wonderful day with delicious food. Janet our caregiver did not have the holidays off, but we were thankful for her helpful service.  The company is trying to set us up with regular caregivers, and it is about to work out. We’ve had several different evening caregivers, but by next week the only dicey slots are weekends. We are hoping a stable roster will soon be in place.

I feel a little  “Lewis Carroll–ish”, these days with the latest turn in Paige’s Parkinson’s journey; Alice (of Alice in Wonderland) said,

 I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night? Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I’m not the same, the next question is ‘Who in the world am I?’ Ah, that’s the great puzzle!

There is so much different—in a word strange—in this new chapter of our Parkinson’s journey. Supplies moved to new locations, new in-home traffic patterns, scheduling additional caregivers, new transportation plans, etc. — all combine to create that sense of change which put Alice to musing. It is funny, in a peculiar way, how attached we get to habits, and comfort zones. We don’t notice them that much when we make the choice to change.  It poses a different posture when such changes happen to us.

The big blessing we find adjusting to this whorl is that Paige’s mental acumen is so sharp. The body functionality is only an eddy we must traverse—although we recognize it may not be temporary.  So, as you can see, we have many reasons for being grateful.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

December 1, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

In the revolving door of scheduling—and/or finding available personnel—caregivers, we had a pleasant surprise; Saturday and Sunday nights passed, our caregiver was a graduate of Emory Candler School of Theology (M. Div.) She was a nice Oasis in the process.  Unfortunately, she is a fill-in till the agency gets a regular for weekend nights. The good news is that we now have a regular for the evenings Monday – Friday. Weekends are still up in the air, so to speak.

Following guidance from the Emory Brain Health Center PT/OT, Paige is managing to stand at a grab bar longer and longer. Still in the single digits, but making progress. Although we only have six sessions in December (3-OT and 3 PT) nevertheless we are grateful that we have at least these.  Paige is assigned homework, which we anticipate will help keep her muscles progressing. We may need a wheelchair replacement. Her current one doesn’t allow her feet to touch the floor. (No short jokes here, please!   )

In another matter we are working on a plan to raise our bed to make it easier for the caregivers. Paige abhors the thought of a hospital bed — it has the knell of nursing home or worse. Therefore, we’re clinging to the hope of making our bed commodiously acceptable. We also still like to sleep in the same bed (although my CPAP machine does limit intimacy, tee hee.)

We have put up our Christmas tree in the den. Janet and I will have the benefit of Paige helping place the ornaments etc., on it. Paige’s pointer finger still wields exceptional proficiency — with a degree of precision.  Christmas is such a special season in our home. We look forward to its preparation and decoration. My natal family put its emphasis on Thanksgiving.  We’d drive to Dacula, GA where Grandmother Jewel fed us famously.  Paige’s family made a big deal of Christmas with all its splendor. Thus these holidays were easy to navigate between the two families.

We are hoping to get MARTA Mobility transportation set up soon— red tape, you know.  But if that doesn’t work soon enough, we plan to hire the non-emergency transport to take Paige to our Christmas musical on the 17^th,  If there’s not room for me, I’ll take our car, as I often do for her medical appointments. She’s really looking forward to this outing.

As you can see, we have so many things for which to be thankful.  But most of all we are thankful for you and grateful for your love and support in the many ways you do so. We love you!!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

December 8, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Last weekend we received something of a lagniappe; our evening caregiver was a returnee.  She is the one with an M. Div. degree from Emory U. Not only is she very pleasant to be around, but also shares some of our heritage, giving us another level of camaraderie. Someone like her can help avoid the mental state of Macbeth, who said, “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace from day to day…” It takes a little getting used to, having strangers parade into our home giving essential care. So we welcome blessings such as she.

As we navigate this Journey, it has been immensely helpful that early on we determined to “live in the moment.” Taking each day as it comes. We mount each challenge that arrives, and are grateful for each blessing we discover—as Yogi Berra said  “You can observe a lot just by watching.”

When Melanie was a student at Young Harris College.   One weekend, while at home, a friend asked her, “What do y’all do for fun away up there in the mountains?” She said, “We make our own fun!”  In Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Orlando said to Rosalind, “How bitter a thing it is to look into happiness through another man’s eyes!” As Melanie said, we find ways to “… make our own (happiness.)”

Therapies continued this week with two more sessions each of P.T. and O.T. at Emory Brain Health Center. These are making a difference. Paige has been able to stand up at a grab bar for (well at this writing, 5 minutes.) Transitions to and from bed-to-wheelchair-to-lift chair- etc. without the hydraulic lift have not happened yet. However, bathroom transitions to and from her wheelchair are working very well.  She feels almost as victorious as she did when Melanie and Jennifer learned potty training.

We are hoping that this augmentation of our journey will, among other things, —such as eliminate the hydraulic lift, and avoid another structural change in our house. Of course, we would jump on it like a duck on a June bug if we needed to.  But it feels really good to keep things normal as possible.

With love and gratitude,

Paige and Willis

December 15, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

We have good news! First, thank you for your prayers.  Now for some results; Paige is regaining some of her muscle strength lost during her November stay in the hospital. She has only needed to use the hydraulic lift once since Tuesday—and that because she was so very tired from a long hard day. Her therapists are excited for her—as are Janet I. We still—for now—musts use the non-emergency medical transport for appointments etc.  We have scheduled the transport to take her to Zachary’s senior band concert tonight. We will have to miss the Christmas music at church Sunday.

One of the next goals topping our list is to get into the car from her wheelchair.  We will work with the therapists next week with that goal in mind. Paige’s progress thrills her, and as she says, your prayers matter greatly! I wish you could have seen her face this week upon completion of her first transfer.

On another matter, you would think I would’ve figured it out sooner; A Meal Plan. For much too long, just before mealtime, I would ask Paige, “What do you want to eat?” It got to be annoying (I know this because she told me.) So Janet, Paige, and I sat down together and planned a week of menus—based on scheduled appointments, fixed items (family night at church) etc. Last week was the genesis of our using a meal plan. 

The basic meal plan is working great so far—with very little alteration. Paige likes this plan and so do I.  We plan to use the template each week and adjust meals to our taste, or as dictated by schedules. It provides variety, and is a great aid in shopping. (See, Paige is teaching me! Planner that she is.)

As Christmas Day draws near, our house is shaping up with seasonal trimmings. Although Paige is not able to deck our halls for Christmas, she has astounding memory of where we packed things away, as well as how we arrange them —on the tree and in the house! Janet and I have been the cheerful cherubs — doing Paige’s bidding. Her pointer finger is rarely tired!! And we’re loving it!! Christmas is so special to Paige, and we are immensely grateful for these joyous days!

Although we plan to send another UPdate before Christmas, we do wish you a Merry Christmas as you and your dear ones do your own worship and celebrating.  We love you all!

In Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

December 22, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas to you and your dear ones!! This is a joyous season, and we feel quite blessed! I am so proud of Paige and her indomitable spirit! She is a lot like the Energizer Bunny— she just keeps on going!

Last Friday Night, We had the transport (“Caring Man In A Van” –company name) take us to Zachary’s Senior Band concert at Lakeside High School. It was a stretch to do so, but it meant so much to Paige, and she faired very well—and of course felt very blessed to be able to do so. And, she was able to enjoy her favorite Christmas music, “The Hallelujah Chorus. ” 

Transport costs and venue acoustics prevented us from attending the Christmas music at our church. So Zachary’s concert and our non-stop viewing of Hallmark movies serves us very well this year.

This week Janet trained her replacement Certified Nursing Assistants (CNAs) for her absence during her Christmas break.  So far, that has gone very well. We have been—and are—blessed with the CNAs that care for Paige. Janet, having been with us for over a year feels nearly like family. The others are quite attentive and serve Paige well. Of course, it usually takes both a CNA and me for much of her personal care. So, we are blessed far beyond expectation. While training them, Janet often says, “They laugh a lot.” We know that laughter lubricates lots of rough spots, and helps us keep things in perspective. We know, as Paige often says, “Everybody is dealing with something.” So by not taking ourselves too seriously helps us be aware of our blessings, and that you, our family and friends, have your own challenges.  (So please know that we pray for y’all regularly.)

Paige’s therapies went well this week—wore her out— but isn’t that the purpose, toward the end of getting stronger!? Also this week, we sent the hydraulic lift packing.  The rental agency picked it up today.

A very exciting event for Paige this week was getting a shampoo and haircut. After weeks of restricted ambulation, she was finally able to do so.  Also, not being able to get into the shower, her shampoo experiences had been limited to Dry Shampoo—which is a less than desirable substitute. You ladies will understand this. Possibly the highlight of this event was that she was able to get into our car and ride there.  This was the first time she has been able to do so in about 8 weeks.

Her Physical Therapist got a prescription from Paige’s Neurologist for a special glove to help shape and strengthen her right hand. Next week she will be fitted for the “Resting Hand Splint” to help keep her right thumb from folding inward. Limited motion of her right arm and hand has the residual effect of allowing her thumb to turn inward. Her therapist obtained a prescription for this appliance and feels that it will be a great help. We are grateful for each modicum of help in this Journey.

So, as we all process into the Celebration of the Birth of Jesus, “… Come let us Adore Him, Christ the Lord….” Leading us to follow Him in our daily lives.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

December 29, 2017

Dear Family and Friends,

We trust that you and your dear ones had a blessed Christmas. Paige and I enjoyed Christmas Eve with Jennifer, Zachary, and Katie. It was our “Christmas Celebration” in that the kids were with Jennifer until Christmas morning this year. We had a wonderful time. Although Paige is not able to be up to her elbows in the kitchen now, she was able to —from her wheelchair—guide us through to an excellent dinner.

We had hoped we could go to the Christmas Eve service, but Paige’s strength was just not up to it.  Christmas Day was quiet and intimate. Jennifer came and had dinner with us.  I made a pot of Shrimp & Grits (sorry, there wasn’t enough left over to share with you.  Maybe next time!) Melanie called and we had a long telephone visit—helping make the distance to Texas seem less far away.  Stephanie was on call—delivering babies—so we didn’t get to visit with her.

Paige was to be fitted with a “Resting Hand Splint” this week.  However, we needed to postpone that trip. The caregiver for the day was new to us, and a trust level had yet to be established. In fact, for about two weeks over the holidays, we had a revolving door of caregivers. Some are easier to deal with than others. It has been somewhat unsettling for Paige to go through this rough patch. Her tremors tend to increase when she is stressed, or dealing with new routines.

It is at times like these that we have to work harder at humor, hope, and living in the moment.  It is so tempting to wish next week would hurry up so Janet will be back. A big help is our laughter.  We laugh at ourselves, at silly quirks—we even laugh at my big feet. Laughter is a tonic that is always available; it’s free, and abundant.

The good news is that our regulars will return Monday; Janet for daytime and Willanda for the night shift.  Both know Paige well, and they love to laugh with us. Laughter is a lubricant, lifting our sprits—not the bottled kind. Paige has a birthday coming up next week, and we plan to celebrate it all week—maybe even all month.  We like the idea so much we’ve already begun eating the Chantilly cake I bought at Publix.  If you hurry, you can have a slice. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, January 5, 2018  

Dear Family and Friends,           

Right after I sent last week’s UPdate, our Friday night caregiver didn’t show up. Our Corgi, Bailey, lay facing the door and “Woofed” now and again; Thus displaying her concern that a caregiver had not yet shown up for Paige. Jennifer said she would come over since the company couldn’t find an instant replacement.  Still, Bailey lay near the door, or facing me, showing her displeasure.  It was only after Jennifer (and her Corgi, Dixie) came that Bailey settled down. She’s such a herder! When the caregivers are here, Bailey hovers near by, not menacing, just showing concern —-always near Paige.            

In that same vein, we’ve had a parade of caregivers: Janet on vacation, Christmas and New Year’s holidays, no-shows, and Janet with a few day-bout with a cold. It has been a strain on Paige. It takes some time to build a good trust level, such as: transitions, moving from lift chair to wheel chair and back again, getting into and out of bed, and managing Paige’s personal hygiene.            

Things may be settling down now. The company promises to have regular personnel for daytime, nighttime, and weekends.  We are familiar with those who are on schedule for now. So, Paige is feeling a little more comfortable.  So much so, that Thursday night, Paige insisted that I go on to practice with the Altar Egos, our Bluegrass group.  Things did go well while I was out..            

This week Paige was fitted with a “Resting Hand Splint” at the Emory Prosthetic and Orthopedic Center. It is designed to hold her right hand and thumb open, preventing her right thumb and hand from curling inward. We also got a prescription for some interim Physical Therapy (due to the hiatus in PT from the Emory Brain Health Center — they have no more openings till the 24^th) this interim PT is good. It will help prevent more atrophy in Paige’s legs.              

As we enter this New Year, we enter with deep gratitude for the many ways we have been and are being blessed.  These blessings are no more evident than this week when Paige celebrated her birthday.  Jennifer had created a “Closed Group” on Facebook, inviting Paige’s friends, family, and former coworkers to weigh in on birthday greetings. The response was overwhelming! Paige is still hearing from folks—many from years, and moves ago.  As I said, we are immensely grateful!

 With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis 

Friday, January 12, 2018  

Dear Family and Friends,           

Paige and I are learning new lessons in taking each day as a “New Day.” No matter how virtually redundant, our daily routines are, each day is new. As I’ve quoted her before, Paige says, “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. (Ps. 118:24) As we go courageously into a new day, Emerson’s words ring true: Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. — Ralph Waldo Emerson           

I like Paige’s attitude.  Although the medical prognosis says “no cure” she bravely rejects it. It is  “a world … constantly trying to make you into something else….” This is likely her …greatest accomplishment.”  Paige—without quoting Scripture lives it; “As (you) think in your heart, so you are.” (Proverbs 23:7) I wish you could see how quickly she dismisses sad thoughts (such as what she can no longer do, or where she can no longer go) and turns to calmer, or more productive thoughts. She knows –as if by instinct— that thought precedes action.  So she won’t let herself go down the rabbit hole of negativity.            

I don’t like to become “Preachy” so I don’t quote Scripture much here. We mainly try to infer it. Nevertheless, some terse Scriptural words zing right to the heart of the matter—as in Exodus 15:13:  “In your steadfast love you led the people whom you redeemed; you guided them by your strength to your holy abode.” Paige and I do rely on God’s steadfast love to guide us into His Presence.  It is quite interesting that often it is something you, or someone close to us said that becomes a conduit into God’s Presence for us.  We thank you for that.  Very likely you won’t even realize God was at work in you —an even greater reason to thank you.            

As our journey continues we eagerly anticipate God’s freshness, new each morning.  New Physical/Occupational Therapies are prescribed to begin next week.  Paige is doing more on-her-own exercise per guidance of the therapists.  When you include her in your prayer time, please ask for ease for pain in her right leg. (Some of you like specifics to prayer for!) Prayers are answered every day.  

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

January 19, 2018 

Dear Family and Friends,                  

Paige and I made Blueberry pancakes for Saturday brunch and thoroughly enjoyed them. A great part of the enjoyment was our making them together.  She sat nearby in her wheelchair and read the directions to me. I followed very carefully and – Yea! Success!!  What I’m learning about cooking is that the directions—no matter how detailed— do not give the finer points of cooking. For example, you don’t just put in the dry ingredients together—you SIFT them in together.  And that’s just one of the nuances of cooking that accounts for Paige’s reputation as a great cook.            

We missed Sunday School and Church due to the chill factor.  I didn’t go because I didn’t want to leave Paige with a new caregiver. Paige needs time with a caregiver to build up the necessary “trust factor.” Also, some people make it easier to build a relationship where physical and emotional comforts embrace your being.             This week was a new kind of trial.  The ice, snow, and wind-chill were brutal.  (Ice, Snow etc)

Much of the Metro area and surroundings came to a virtual standstill. Again. So much so, our caregivers couldn’t navigate from their homes to ours; it put Paige and me to a test as we held forth on our own.  I think we faired very well— in the grand scheme of things. Oh well. When we see our first Crocus – all this will be forgotten. So we’ll just enjoy the beauty of the brilliant white snow.            

Somehow the paperwork for Paige’s interim home Physical Therapy did not get through to Marty.  He called and apologized that he could not come, due to some glitch in the red tape.  But next week—barring any new snowstorm— Paige is on schedule for PT at the Emory Brain Health Center.  And for the next few weeks, sessions are scheduled.  They only schedule six or so weeks out. She really needs the sessions.  I’m sure the six-week hiatus helped contribute to her knee having buckled this week.  When her needs are overcome by events beyond our control (or others’, for that matter) it still sets her back. Holidays and snow/ice storms became the “Perfect storm.”            

As the Scripture said about David “NeverthelessDavid took the stronghold of Zion, which is now the city of David.” 2 Samuel 5:7) …nevertheless, Paige soldiers on—not letting such encumbrances get her down.  As many of you frequently mention, she has a lot of spunk—which accounts for her tenacious spirit. She hangs on to hope like a snapping turtle. (Maybe that’s why she likes the chocolate-nut “Snappers” from Helen, GA so much!) As written in Ecclesiastes 9:11  “…the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong…” we keep in mind that Paige journeys in that spirit.            

Thank you for your faithful following our foibles and frenetic journey.  You are dear to us, and your prayers are precious to Paige and me.  

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis  

Friday, January 26, 2018  

Dear Family and Friends,           

With the “revolving door” of Paige’s caregivers, Bailey, our Corgi, has caught on to their schedule.  The evening person comes on duty at 5:00 p.m.  So—last week for the two days of snow and ice—no one came for the evening shift. Nevertheless, around 5:00 p.m., Bailey lay at the door expectantly.  Then, by 5:30 she became rather agitated—going first to the door and then to us—looking quite concerned.  We were able to talk her through it and she finally settled down.  On a related note— especially with new caregivers—Bailey sticks closely to Paige. It is as if she is saying, “You’d better take good care of my Nana!” This thrills Paige.            

Paige’s therapies (PT and OT) at the Emory Brain Health Center were to resume this month. But an uninvited stomach virus put the kibosh on this week.  However beginning next week she is scheduled for three or four sessions a week. These are set for the next few weeks. She’s looking forward to a regular schedule.  Meanwhile she has discovered “At Home In Mitford” on Hallmark Movies Now.  We subscribed to HMN but had to get our wonderful grandson, Zachary, to set up Apple TV so we could view it (as well as other movies on HMN.)  Paige is quite excited about this.  It helps cheer her spirit.            

Some more good news this week; we feel reassured that some stability has evolved in the caregiver schedule.  Today we received the schedule for the next month. Along with it was a training session as Janet trained a new regular weekend caregiver. And as it turns out, she is a cousin of mine; well, not technically a cousin—her sister-in-law was a Veal (in my lineage.) So, as we count cousins at Deepstep, if you can see their farm from your house, they are cousins. And. We both finished high school in Sandersville, GA, but decades apart. Her name is Lauren; Janet reported that he training went very well.            

Another serendipity came through the mail today; a former Sunday school class member and friend, upon his retirement, resurrected his Boy Scout woodcarving skills.  He sent Paige one of his hand-carved- “Comfort Birds”—-from-“special Walnut” he got from an estate sale a few years ago. He carves these for friends who “…are facing health challenges or stress in their daily lives,” he said. “People tell me they help because the more you hold it the warmer it gets; kind of helps during meditation and prayer and I hope it helps you as well.”            

You and other family and friends like him form a dynamic support team for Paige. Both she and I are very grateful.  

In Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, February 2, 2018  

Dear Family and Friends,           

We have found it necessary to hitch up our britches and punt, to mix metaphors. After a few non-injurious falls, Paige has had to resort to the hydraulic lift for getting into bed. After she regains her confidence I think we can park the lift. However her recent falls so decimated her confidence that she was shaking all over by bedtime. Fear can do that. Once she knew the lift was to be delivered, she became quite calm.            

In this segment of our journey, I’m reminded of a line from Bill Withers’ song “Lean on Me;” ‘Sometimes in our lives we all have pain / We all have sorrow /But if we are wise/We know that there’s always tomorrow;”Another verse picks up on our shared concerns, where we know, as do you—in the journey you share with us—everyone is dealing with something. The mutuality of Journey is expressed in another verse in the song;“Please swallow your pride / If I have things you need to borrow / For no one can fill those of your needs /That you won’t let show /You just call on me brother, when you need a hand /We all need somebody to lean on/ I just might have a problem that you’ll understand /We all need somebody to lean on.”This is no more apparent than last weekend, when Ann, one receiving these Updates, notified us that David—her husband— died in his sleep Saturday morning. So, as the song says “…we (do have) someone to lean on…”  I do not publish your names but I’m aware that we all share a mutual love and support. Others of you —in less —or more dramatic ways also need someone to lean on.            

We welcome the return of regularly scheduled therapies, both OT and PT, So there’s genuine hope that she will gain strength of body and spirit. Though tired afterward, Paige looks forward to these appointments. We continue to be quite pleased that Paige can —with Janet’s and my help—get into our car instead of needing to call the transport company for transportation. (Also, she likes her chauffer better! )             

We are grateful to you—UMW, SS classes, church members, family/friends— who Pray for us and assure us of your love and support.            

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis Moore

Friday, February 9, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,           

Paige and I deeply appreciate the reciprocity of prayers between you and us. Just as you—in many ways— let us know you are praying for Paige and me.  I keep the list of your names in my iPhone as a prayer list.  We pray for you regularly. That said, our pastor, Rev. Susan Allen Grady preached an outstanding sermon on prayer on Sunday last. It added much to our contemplations on Prayer. We want to share an emerging thought as an outgrowth of —Susan’s sermon, the writings of Henri Nouwen, Leslie Weatherhead, and the Apostle Paul. Very likely you wrestle, or have wrestled, with similar thoughts. So we offer our following observation: When we ask, “Why doesn’t God do what I want?” We may be too impatient. Or, maybe sometimes God doesn’t interfere— so that we may be prepared for tougher times later on; The Apostle Paul said, “We…boast (or maybe receive) our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spiritthat has beengiven(Emphasis mine) to us.” (Rom. 5:3-5) So, along a similar vein, but on a more earthy plain, –hmmm, a little rhyme there —we struggled with the revolving door of caregivers. (It’s a little tough to have strangers—trained and professional tho they may be— come into your home, bath, dress, feed, and care for your most private personal needs.) The good news is that we seem to be settling in with four caregivers who are now on regular (day, night and 14-hour -weekend) shifts. They are good, congenial, and so far each appears to be a good fit. Of course, Janet— who has been with us on day -shift from the outset of this Journey— is solid gold. We try not to compare the others to her.            

Also, we are pleased that we have regular Physical and Occupational Therapy schedules set for February and into early March. We try to avoid gaps in PT and OT because it tends to set back Paige’s progress. I liken it to Zachary’s (our grandson) Lacrosse team.  If they have gaps in their practice sessions they aren’t on their top game. Kinda like the old cliché —“7 days without prayer makes one weak.”            

Our Pastor, Susan, came to visit this week and brought Holy Communion—along with her pleasant self! She and Paige enjoyed telling “humongous, horror, and humor Parsonage stories” regaling each other with “can-you-believe-this” tales. We laughed till it nearly hurt. Also special to me, was Susan’s invitation for me to assist in the liturgy. We included Janet, our resident Presbyterian, as we served the Sacraments. She was pleased, but not astonished to be included (It was predestined.)            

As I indicated at the start, there is a lot of give and take going on, but we feel we are doing a lot more taking than giving. But thanks for loving us anyway.  

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis Moore

Friday, February 16, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,           

This week included St. Valentine’s Day—and I’m reminded of Engelbert Humperdinck’s song; “This Moment in Time:” “…No matter what comes I know the sun is gonna shineBecause of you and me, there’ll be this moment in timeMore than a ripple, less than a splashThe heir to a long line of gloryGive me the moment and I’ll give you a songIt’s so good bein’ part of the storyThis moment in timeThis right time of dayOh, I love bein’ with you…”The song expresses something of what Paige and I have tried to live out— “In the Moment.” Regrets and such of the past, and anxiety and expectations of the future are but thoughts—and entertaining them steals precious moments from the present. Actually, Jesus said it better, albeit, sans the tint of Amore —– “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” (Matt. 6:34 (NRSV)            

We like what the Apostle Paul said —several times in his New Testament writings; “Be thankful in all things…” (RWV—Revised Willis Version)  Note that Paul said, “Be thankful IN all things….” Not FOR all things. There is a difference. Of course we are not thankful for this disease.  But as we navigate this Journey, we find— almost every day—reasons to be thankful.  We recall the words; “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lam. 3:22-23)  (NRSV) This helps immensely.            

In terms of Paige’s Practical Progress—she continues with the OT and PT. Both therapies tire her out—it is hard to rebuild strength. Times in the hospital and rehab caused muscle atrophy. At our age, rebuilding muscle strength not only takes longer, but also resilience does not readily kick in as in times of yore. Having said that, I continue to be amazed how Paige –as Timex says, “just keeps on ticking”!!! She finds ways to rise above glitches, hitches, and—uh me, and keeps her indomitable spirit            

And. Paige had wonderful OT and PT sessions this week. As she said, she “walked all over the room” with the assistive walker at Emory Brain Health Center.  Her therapists were delighted. And, we had a family meeting via conference call with the management company CEOs. My role has been re-defined as that of companion (i.e. less heavy lifting, more observer) with caregivers managing physical transitions etc. They are trained (I am not) and hired for this. It is hard to give up doing these things for Paige—after nearly 55 years of marriage. But I’m learning. This role reversal is largely a safety measure for both Paige and Me. They tell me that if I get injured in the process—then they have two people to care for.  I get that. Bear with me. As the old hymn says “…new occasions teach new duties…”!

Again, thank you for your love and prayers! They are golden to us!  

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis Moore 

Friday, February 23, 2018  

Dear Family and Friends,           

This week was tough. Over the weekend Paige slipped during a transition— resulting in a 911 call. And there were some near misses. Monday, Janet was out due to a stomach bug. I was scheduled to accompany Zachary for a Summer Job interview at Camp Glisson. It took creative scheduling to stitch together care for Paige— by a friend, a quickie CNA substitute, and Jennifer— to assure that she was safe and secure while I was away. But we got it done!            

Paige’s fall and near misses heightened our awareness that safety is tops for her. Her body doesn’t want to listen when her mind calls upon it. It also often seems to prejudge when she transfers to and from the wheelchair.            

I have to give it to Paige: she tries very hard to keep her balance, and make her body respond correctly.  She apologizes when she misses, but the caregivers assure her that they understand and there is no need for apology.  That is what they are for. Yet Paige’s instilled “Southern Lady spirit” prompts her genteel spirit and concern for others.  Ya just can’t keep this lady down!            

Janet and Lauren have come up with a transition formula that works great so far.  Jennifer had an idea to make a training video ––specific to Paige. It was successfully done Thursday.  The Company sent their nurse to offer more information; with all caregivers present, Paige and Janet demonstrated the procedures and Jennifer did the video. It will be used for the caregivers’ guidance and wherever else it may apply.            

Paige and I were blessed this Lenten season with an unexpected gift; a friend sent a Henri Nouwen Lenten devotional booklet. We added it to our daily time with THE UPPER ROOM. It’s surprising brevity provides just the refection we need as we invite a Lenten sojourn into our Journey. Thus, rather than giving up something during Lent, we’re adding something, It is a welcome Spiritual Discipline for us and brings more focus for us than, for example giving up ice cream, chocolate, or coffee—not that such won’t also get your attention!            

We wish for you a Blessed Lenten season as we Journey toward Easter.            

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis Moore

Friday, March 2, 2018  

Dear Family and Friends,           

Paige had good sessions in therapy this week.  OT will continue till mid March. In keeping with her “homework” a friend made a set of one-inch cube wooden blocks for her to manipulate—using her grasping and placing muscles. This will allow her to practice what she is being taught in OT. This is the last week of PT for a few months.  The therapist suggested a parallel bar for our hallway so Paige can practice pulling up from a chair. It will also allow her hand walking along the bar to strengthen her legs.  It was installed yesterday.                       

Paige and I are immensely blessed with caring family and friends. There are acquaintances also that ask about Paige. Often people do not know how to approach or respond to a handicapped (or grieving) person. Recently I ran across this, by Columnist, Parker J Palmer. I like what he said:  “Here’s the deal. The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is. When we make that kind of deep bow to the soul of a suffering person, our respect reinforces the soul’s healing resources, the only resources that can help the sufferer make it through.”     

I cite this because it is hard for me—and other well-meaning persons—to learn.  I guess it is the “preacher” in me —to instruct, to give advice. It was thus when our lives were “normal”; Paige would say, “I want you to listen, not fix me.” It is even more so now that she has lost some abilities.  I want to tell—not listen.  As I think about it, Parker Palmer really nailed it!  We need simply to be present with family or friends, not fix them. It is especially so when that friend is enduring some difficulty—in body, mind, or appetite.            

In that vein we thank you, our family and friends for being present with us. You make us aware of your presence in so many ways, and we are grateful!            

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis Moore 

Friday, March 9, 2018  

Dear Family and Friends           

The big news this week is an installation of a wheelchair accessible bathroom door.  We have one-bathroom Paige uses for all needs but a shower. With today’s installation, she now has access to the shower for the first time in about six months. (Phewee!)  No, actually, since she became wheelchair bound, her baths have consisted of “sponge baths.” She is so excited that now, she can return to her cherished shower chair —and plans to get in and sit all day showering.  At each stage in this journey, Paige remains upbeat and with a “Let’s get on with it” attitude. Paige and I like what William Wordsworth said, “Come grow old with me. The best is yet to be.”  It is not that there will be no more cares, pain, difficulty, or falling-on-your-face,— of such  life consists.  This Journey is helping us see the importance of our times with each other, living fully in the present. We were reminded recently of how important this is. A friend—who is on this list—had just lost her husband. He died in his sleep.  She said, “You and Paige should enjoy every moment you can together. We never know what tomorrow will bring.”            

It is easy to take life too casually. Smooth routines, the “daily drag” and such tend to invite complacency. So, if nothing else, maybe these Updates on Paige will help you— our family and friends—look around and drink in the present. Savor time with family and friends. Be present in the moment. They certainly help us do so.  Not in a morbid manner. More like a soldier than a tourist. (The tourist glides through, schedule, and finishing in mind. The soldier walks the same street, alert to everything that moves, drinking in every detail, taking full account as if life depends on it.)              

Pardon my pathetic preaching here, but this comes from those who are/have been there. And. It serves well to remember also, taking life too seriously is the other extreme.  As I’ve said before, Paige and I laugh a lot. Robert Frost said, “If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane.” These Updates —if nothing else—help Paige and me keep perspective.            

This afternoon, we were blessed with a visit with long-time friends. Over the years we have shared joys, sorrows, changes, bumps, fears, hopes, and lots of laughter. Carole and Orv were returning from a few days away, celebrating their 62^nd wedding anniversary. They interrupted their trip for a visit with us.  Paige has not stopped talking about that visit. You just cannot put a price on such joys.  These are friends who truly are  “(growing) old with us.” —and “the best is yet to be.”  With Love and Gratitude,Paige and Willis            

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis Moore

Friday, March16, 2018 

Dear Family and Friends,            

“Spring has sprung, grass has riz, where last year’s (troubled worries) is.”  [Apologies to Burma Shave.] The greening and blossoming of spring is arriving here in Tucker, GA. Paige and I look with enthusiasm to its portents of beautiful, bountiful days, breathing hope, promise, and encouraging brightness. And Easter — the eternal reminder that God is not done yet—is but days away!            

For now, OT and PT are finished. The therapists told Paige (Janet and Me as well) to continue the routines they taught us. And. This hiatus conserves our insurance allotment so that later this year we can go again for refresher, or corrective therapies. The new Ballet bar in the hallway, and door expansion make it easier to continue what they taught us. I’m talking with a company about handgrips to replace pedals on her desk cycle. We can put it on a table for her to do the hand/arm exercises she did at the Emory Brain Health Center. Oh, and from Amazon I got two small metal ramps for the backdoor onto the deck. They make it possible to get the wheelchair from the kitchen onto the deck. (Bailey-the-Corgi hates the ramps.  The little grip holes spook her, so she jumps over the whole contraption!)            

One day this week Paige said she thinks she is regressing. We are hoping the falls and near-fall experiences and movement glitches are simply part of the undulating pattern of abilities she has experienced all along this Journey. We are praying so, anyway. Still, she doesn’t let such episodes get her down for very long.            

This week we heard from a friend (on this list) who has lived with family members who had & have similar—but vastly different— encumbrances. Hers’ seem to us far more difficult, yet she is able to be cheerful, and laugh with us. Again I say, everyone is dealing with something. Henri Nouwen makes a distinction between joy and happiness. Joy is deep and abiding. Happiness (my words) is a vapor. Joy is the Eagle, high above, abiding. Happiness is the humming bird, flighty—popping in and out. Joy is what Paige and I seek, and seem to have found.            

Thursday was a “Red Letter Day.”  This week, Paige had her first shower in about six months (No, she didn’t stink—we gave her “sponge baths” daily.) But she rejoiced greatly and threatened to sit in the shower all day. The new doorway gave abundant space for the wheelchair to move right up to the slide-in shower seat. Later in the morning, a couple of near falls nearly took the glow off, but the day remains a high point. Even with the evening caregiver’s no-show didn’t dampen Paige’s joy.            

Today our caregiver company reported that Janet had been injured and could not report for work. They could not find a replacement so Paige and I managed for the day. All in all, it was a wonderful week. We are grateful for the many good things each day, and feel blessed by the good support by those of you, our family and friends.  

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis 

Friday, March 23, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,            

Paige and I have open and honest conversations about the narrowing of this Journey. Not that we haven’t been open all along.  It’s just that we are more focused. Not morbid, just focused. We feel the need to talk with each other about the narrowing: one’s degeneration tends to demand such attention. We are in no way giving up. We are trying to come to terms with certain realities of this disease.

For one thing, our world continues to shrink. Paige is less able to participate in events and groups that were once the core of her days. An old western term, “Circle the wagons” comes to mind: or, using an inadequate simile: your telescopic lens zeros in on the nearer, and more essential, scene. It may be called survival but a better term might be sifting for things more important.            

Another matter is our choices are fading. PT and OT—as we said last week— are over till later this year.  Insurance and Medicare establish limits. Travel is more difficult: in some cases impossible. We had hoped to go to the Veal family reunion in April. However, the trip poses formidable challenges. It would have been one of the most complicated missions we have undertaken since this Journey began. It was a hard decision, but the right one.            

But for now our focus is navigating transfers from one place to another: lift to chair, and back; wheelchair to potty or bed. The kicker here is that her knees tend to give away whether she feels it happening or not. In an attempt to understand the sensation she feels (or doesn’t) I asked her: “Is it as if you are using the controls in one car while attempting to drive another car?”  She said that pretty well describes what’s going on between her brain’s intentions and manipulating her body.            

In the maintenance trail, we encountered a detour. One of the evening/weekend caregivers failed to show up for several shifts. The company replaced her. Janet gave her some training so the transition would not be so difficult on Paige. It is always a balancing act, adjusting to the new personality while she learns our routines. We try to keep the routines stable for Paige and focus on her comfort. We hope this development will help stabilize our caregiver schedule. So, it’s on down the trail in this Journey.            

Thank you for your prayers and concern.  We pray for you, too, and specifically as we learn of your challenges.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, March 29, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,           

Paige and I wish for you, our Family and Friends, a blessed and happy Easter. The marvelous colors and aromas of new growth—blossoms, leaves, and plants—make spring a splendid and welcome season.                

As I think about our journey, I like what Catholic Priest, Walter Elliot wrote; “Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after the other.” It kinda describes our Journey. The nature of this disease is that long-term is difficult if not impossible to predict:  So our taking it in the moment, one day at a time makes lot of sense. If you really think about it, none of us knows what tomorrow —not even later today—will bring. We live in the happy illusion that life will go until…..uhhh when? It is rather liberating to think in terms of “the now.”                

Taking one day at a time also means making each day count. Therefore Paige said she wants to start working on her Ethical Will. Unlike the Last Will and Testament—we did those a few decades ago (and updated last year,) the Ethical Will outlines a person’s hopes, dreams and life lessons. It is not a legal document. We step out on this endeavor as a life’s assessment, or reflective, pilgrimage.

Wednesday was a beautiful spring day.  Janet and I took Paige over the new threshold ramp onto the deck. Paige saw the fig tree’s tiny green leaves budding.  The crimson fingers of Azalea blossoms down near the creek were peeking out. We saw three Hosta plants poking up through the pine straw. It was truly a springtime moment for her. We lingered there until it was time for Janet’s shift to end.  What a blessing!                

On Thursday we got to know better our neighbors across the street. They planned and brought dinner to share. They moved here from California.  He has been confined to a power wheelchair for over 35 years.  They both have a great attitude and we enjoyed the evening together. While we appreciate any gesture of caring anyone offers, it is especially a blessing when a person brings themselves to enjoy food together.. Breaking bread together is virtually a sacramental meal. And, although we hadn’t planned it so—since we could not attend the Maundy Thursday Holy Communion that night—this meal in some way made up for it.

We had to manage by ourselves Friday. Janet’s daughter woke up with a high fever and she had to deal with her.  We chose for the company not to send a substitute. It is easier for Paige and me to manage the shift than deal with the agony of having a strange caregiver.  We got along very well, I think. The good news is that today we were notified that Paige’s favorite in-home Physical Therapist, Marty, will begin a series of PT next week.            

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, April 6, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Woo Hoo! Marty is back.  He is Paige’s favorite in-home Physical Therapist: a real motivator.  I call him, Marty-the-Motivator. He came today for Paige’s PT session. We discussed ways for Paige safely and efficiently to transition between chairs, etc. He also worked her pretty hard with various exercises. He has a way of making them almost fun despite her pain. Paige actually looks forward to Marty’s visits. He will come for two sessions a week for this increment of P.T. We are hoping that pacing the sessions between the increments at Emory Brain Health Center, we can keep a pace of physical activity.

We are checking on other companies that provide caregivers. We know none is perfect.  But we are comparing services, spending, strengths, and giraffes (not really, giraffes, but it is a fun disruption of the alliteration! ;-)) we may wind up keeping the same company, but it could help to do some scouting.  And. As Melanie suggested, “Sometimes the ‘devil you know is better than the devil you don’t know’.” We are learning —among other things—there is a huge turnover in the caregiver market.

We have an appointment next week to assess the kinds of equipment most helpful for Paige’s safety, use, and comfort.  It could be that Medicare—which we both have paid into for over 70 years— may cover part of the expense. We would welcome such good news. I am sure we have missed some benefits because, to use Melanie’s term for her recent “trial by fire,” we parachuted into a burning building.” Ours was more like parachuting  “into a rainforest.” You need more than a Swiss Army Knife in such situations! While we are grateful for the guidance we did get, we may have focused too much on navigating the Journey than seeking a wider array of helps.

We survived another AWOL Wednesday night: the caregiver did not show up. When the company located her, she promised to come help get Paige through the evening bedtime routine.  She  still didn’t show. So now we are dealing with replacements for those shifts. We have a friend who is quite familiar with navigating a journey similar to ours. She said, “Reading about your Journey, I found my head bobbing like one of those little Bobble Head dolls.”

Paige’s dermatology visit today resulted in Dr. Kim happily giving her a good report.  She wants Paige to come every four months now rather that twice a year. She wants to observe Paige’s skin care to insure its continuing good health. The spotty caregiver schedule should clear up soon; even so, we have much for which to be thankful.

We are grateful for your love and prayers and the amazing care Paige is receiving. The loving support of family and friends is immeasurable. 

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, April 13, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

We think of this week as a fun week. Full, Challenging, rewarding, and hilarious. Being an already full week made it more interesting when we had to cancel, change, add, and combine appointments.

Good caregiver news; Tonya (we call her “Dr. Storey—such a fun person) is back from her vacation. Janet is getting over the “sadness” of her son’s move to Michigan, but she never skipped a beat. Pamela is on for Saturday. And the gap is filled with the new caregiver, Lisa, who seems to be a good match for Paige. Now for the happy dance!

We had an appointment with a mobilization specialist, who checked out our house for the possibility of a Sit-to-Stand lift.  He thinks it will work and ordered one to try out onsite.  If it works as he thinks it will, two changes will be made: 1) we should retire the Viking lift (sometimes called a Hoya), and 2) the new lift will greatly ease Paige’s transitions from lift-chair to wheelchair, etc. She will be safer and it will be easier on caregivers. And me.

Paige had her checkup appointment with Dr. Silverboard, her primary Neurologist. He was concerned by an inward rotation of her right foot. He sent her upstairs to the Hanger Clinic to be fitted for corrective devices. The orthotics guy there included plans for a brace to help straighten her right leg also.  It is the leg that buckles so often during transitions. She will continue to use her favorite shoes: he will adapt the right one for the brace. We are grateful that United Healthcare will help with this equipment.

And. Marty will be able to get in three PT sessions this week—by adding one Saturday morning!! He drives her hard, but kids with her so much it makes the sessions kinda fun—like he does after a particularly hard workout; he will say, “Wow! I’m tired. You wore me out!” He is so good for Paige. These sessions help avoid a more rapid degeneration of her muscle tone: so do the practice sessions by the caregivers. We know this is a degenerative disease, but Paige is determined to prevent it from happening too fast. Don’t you just love her spirit!?

The beautiful spring weather, your prayers, good caregivers, and a “buggy whip” help make life more enjoyable for Paige.  We love you and are grateful to you for your caring.             

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, April 20, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

People who hike the Appalachian Trail (the AT) adopt a trail name.  Throughout these UPdates, the word “laugh” appears fairly often: And Paige is very good at paying attention. So. I’ve come up with Journey Names for Paige and me; Sir Laughs-a-lot and Lady Give-an-ear: seem appropriate somehow.

Paige and I have been blessed through feedback we have gotten from many of you.  One of the most helpful topics is on the caregiver situation.  Thank you for your prayers, and input. We’ve learned that spotty caregiver experiences, in the industry, vary from near disaster to near perfection. We are experiencing that spectrum. So for those of you who do, or may some time, need such service, buckle your seatbelts—and take your Dramamine. It is a bumpy ride. Also, adopt a wonderfully indomitable sense of humor.  If we have sounded whiney about this issue, we apologize. We mean simply to be reporting.

In this vein, William Sloan Coffin wrote: “You can steel yourself against death and in general against the hardships of life, but in so doing you wall out the very support you really need.” And from Frederick Buechner: “The thing a clenched fist can’t do is accept a helping hand.”

We picked up this passage from a fellow traveler along the Parkinson’s Journey;Muhammad Ali said, “All through my life, I have been tested. My will has been tested, my courage has been tested, and my strength has been tested. Now my patience and endurance are being tested.” Matthew Quick described the Journey rather poetically: Albeit pointedly: “Life is not a PG feel-good movie. Real life often ends badly. Literature tries to document this reality, while showing us it is still possible for us to endure nobly.” (The Silver Linings Playbook )

I think Paige endures nobly: Dylan Thomas wrote, “Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” We have come to admit that we are in “old age.” Nevertheless, we choose to think of it not as getting old, but as growing older. There is a difference.

Possibly the toughest hurdle for Paige is facing an activity she once did on auto pilot: Walking across a room, stirring a pot on the stove, holding and reading a book, writing a note. When facing such, she pauses for what she calls a “Pity Party,” (I call it paying homage to her former abilities) then she’s back on track. We take our bodies for granted until something can’t or won’t work. Remorse doesn’t restore. Hope and joy rejuvenate. So does laughter: Lots of it.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, April 27, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Last Friday night Paige and I attended a “surprise” 80^th birthday party at Stone Mountain for one of our college friends, Dick Baker. We three were in college band together and knew his wife Joyce, also from college days. It was a roaring success. He definitely was surprised. Joyce did a superb job planning (and keeping it secret). He was still in a daze Tuesday when he and I had our weekly breakfast. As difficult as it is for Paige to eat —especially in public—she really enjoyed being there.  She was very tired, but glad she did not give in and stay home.

In-home PT continues: we are trying to work out a sit-to-stand lift for her. Paige’s legs refuse to move on command; first it was her right foot/leg. Lately, her left foot and leg have been stubborn. We had an appointment at the Hanger Prosthetic and Orthopedic for Paige to have a leg brace fitted. The supplies had not arrived so we must get another appointment for fitting. The purpose of the brace is two fold: 1) to prevent the right foot from continuing to turn under; and 2) to support the right leg and knee so it will not buckle when she tries to stand: especially during transfers from chair to chair.

We could have griped and complained about making a useless trip.  However, it was a nice springtime day (a few misty sprinkles along the way) and foliage is greening up the landscape. So we relaxed and drove a little further and picked up some sandwiches—some of Paige’s favorite subs. Then had a rather relaxed drive home and ate a casual lunch. Since Paige isn’t able to get outside much, it turned out to be a rather pleasant departure from her routines.

Paige developed enough trust in last weekend’s caregiver for me to attend Sunday school and church. Then on Monday I assisted our pastor in the funeral of a friend of ours. She and her late husband were assigned as our mentors when we joined Embry Hills UMC.  She left instructions to the family for me to have the message and assist our pastor in her funeral. At first, Paige and I felt the timing would work out just fine, as Janet’s shift would last during my time away. However, Monday morning Janet’s daughter got sick and Janet had to leave early. Paige cannot answer the doorbell and her fingers don’t manage the telephone buttons very well. I couldn’t reach anyone to come that quickly and stay with Paige.  She insisted I go on anyway. Immediately after the service I ducked out and hurried home. I try very hard to be sure I don’t leave Paige alone at home more than a few minutes.

I hesitate to say this; next week looks like a calm, uneventful week. But we’ll take whatever comes. 

Sometimes I think these Updates may sound like the man of law From the Prologue of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales:

 Nowhere so busy a man as he there was
And yet he seemed busier than he was

It’s not always this way, but it keeps life interesting.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, May 4, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige is a tad miffed.  Another medical appointment was postponed; this one took nearly three hours out of her day. It is immensely difficult for her to transition from her den lift chair to wheelchair, and get into the car: and back again. She was physically worn out afterwards. After a nap her usual positive mentality returned, taking it all in stride. I think I would not have taken it so well.

An issue Paige manages very well is going blank in the midst of describing or asking something.  The sensation is like you have experienced when you start to speak to your child; you “call the roll” or say the name of one of your siblings instead—or just go blank momentarily. When it happens it annoys her but she picks up and goes right on.

We can’t seem to get the equipment folks on the ball for the toileting net we need for the sit-to-stand lift. One day when Paige’s legs failed her, we had no choice but to use a lift.  We improvised with the net for the bedtime hydraulic lift. It was awkward, but she was safe and fairly comfortable: our main goal. We still need to use the Viking lift for getting her into her place in bed. (For those of you familiar with the procedure—it is a Hoya style lift.)

We finally got Paige’s leg brace installed on Wednesday.  The Hanger Prosthetic and Orthopedic Center guy did a great job fitting it.  It already gives her more stability when she has to stand to transfer seats. Although she still must have someone pulling her to an upright position by holding her hands, she is much more stable; her right foot is held firmly and prevented from rotating sideways.

A few days ago she had a visit from a young man, Connor.  He was a baby when Paige him welcomed into the Parents Day Out program at our church, where she was Director: Conner was just weeks old. When he walked into our den he towered 6 feet 2 over Paige,  He bent down and hugged her. She was thrilled to see him. He enters the 9^th grade this fall.  Connor was leaving for an 8-day trip to Spain the next day with his class. Paige was grateful that he took time to visit her. And. His two dads brought us a complete, delicious, homemade Chicken Chow Mein dinner! (We made 4 meals of it!)

So it is blessings upon blessings we cherish each day.  You, our family and friends are the most abundant of these.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, May 11, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

The sweet smell of honeysuckle fills the air on Regal Way these days. We welcome each pleasant blessing that comes our way. Our friends across the street, newly “transplanted” from California, called our attention to numerous songbirds in our neighborhood. Isn’t it funny how it takes new ears to hear something that’s always around? Our deck out back is somewhat secluded, surrounded by foliage; Maple, Redbud, Leyland Cypress, Honeysuckle, and natural growth. It is good that occasionally, when the weather is fine, Paige feels like being rolled out there to enjoy birds and beauty for a while.

The benefits of Paige’s new leg brace continue to increase.  After a day or so getting used to it—you know, any new attachment to your body has an adjustment curve—she really depends on its support. She is more confident in rising to stand and transition from one seat to another. We use wheelchair footrests in the house now rather than only on trips to appointments, etc.; as they her get to a standing position they promote leg strength. She has reached more than 1 1/2 minutes standing time: usually two or three stand-ups per session.

I marvel at how Paige can simply focus on “this day.” Our culture tends to focus on the future.  Someone has said that to dwell on the future steals from today. In the extreme, it is true. Living in the “now” and being alert to the future does require both being held in tension. Jesus spoke of such tension: “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today.” Matthew 6:34 (NRSV) He also said; “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it?” Luke 14:28 (NRSV) Paige and I like the words Alison Krauss gave us:

‘Many things about tomorrow / I don’t seem to understand / But I know who holds tomorrow / And I know who holds my hand”

It is with such confidence – call it Faith—that Paige is able to wake up each morning eager to greet the day. And I love her for it.

ßPaige’s week was brightened by Katie and Zach’s honors at Lakeside High School; Zach was voted the senior with the best smile, and his “Congratulations LHS Graduate” sign is posted proudly in our front lawn.  Katie was awarded the Wellesley Book Award for High School juniors for “…. outstanding academic record, extra curricula activities and Community involvement.”  They both excelled in AP courses. Paige is a happy “Nana!”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, May 18, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

This week Paige received her new leg brace; designed for use while she is asleep in order gradually to straighten her leg. It is an interesting design; it adjusts itself incrementally. Over time, rather painlessly, it will ensure a straightened leg.

Paige and I are discovering Parkinson’s disease to be many faceted; as are automobiles. There are many kinds, many brands, many sizes many forms, many colors; even many differences within a specific kind, brand, or size. Paige’s Neurologist at Emory advised us to resist comparing her “brand” with anyone or some case write-up. “They’re different,” he said. Instead, he wants her to focus on her own Journey (my word, not his). I know that tendency. It is our human condition to seek some kind of connection. Many connections are good, even valuable.  Some are not.

I read these Updates to Paige before I send them.  Often I read them to her more than once; especially after an edit, and after she has suggestions. And when anyone replies, I read to her the response. I have come to see these Updates as a much for us as a blend of information sharing, navigation log, and perspective-shaping device.  You know, a time to pause to look around; as you would on a hike. You look back at where you have been, assess where you are, and consider what is next. These Updates started as simple briefings of Paige’s progress to family and friends. Over the past 18 months they evolved into much more; progress log, perspective to clinch reference, and, as a few friends have suggested— help to others whose journey is difficult if not similar.

Yesterday, Paige’s United Healthcare Nurse made the routine checkup home visit. The Nurse seemed thrilled about Paige’s health; Blood Pressure, response to PT, mental acuity, vision, hearing, verbal skills, weight, and general condition: Paige was pleased as well. And she admired Paige’s “beautiful blue eyes”. It felt good to have the nurse’s professional assessment, based on empirical evidence. We must be doing something right.

Now we are eagerly anticipating the arrival of Melanie and Stephanie this weekend. They will join us in celebrating Zach’s graduation from Lakeside High School.  We can’t believe it!! We still have vivid memories of Zach sitting in the back of his little red Radio Flyer wagon, and pulling him along. Time passes, —he did, too—with flying colors!!! 

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, May 25, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

First, I want to explain; if there is any glitch, delay, or an otherwise strangeness in this week’s Update, well, I’ll blame it on the failure of my main E-mail provider. For some strange (or at least unknown to me) reason, it failed and won’t be back up for “two or three days,” I was told.

We have a lot for which to be grateful this week. Last week the nurse called Paige “Spunky,” and “a survivor,” as finished her checkup. What she said about Paige reminds me of something General Douglas MacArthur said; “Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles, the soul.” And, Winston Churchill is said to have told a graduating class, ‘Young men, never give up. Never give up! Never give up!! Never, never, never-never-never-never!’” So it is with Paige.

The highlight of this week was grandson Zach’s graduation from high school at the World Congress Center, in downtown Atlanta. Paige had been looking forward to attending. However as the morning approached things changed: Stephanie, our daughter-in-law put on her “Doctor Hat”—(She is an MD) and discussed the issues involved in getting to and attending the event. She had noticed how wearing it was on Paige to attend Zach’s graduation party—and that  we would have a much smaller family event here at a local restaurant. Paige agreed with Stephanie, so she stayed home with Melanie, Stephanie, and Janet.  They prepared luncheon for Zach and were ready when we got home.  It was the right call. Traffic was, well, typical for Atlanta. And, it rained. Even our reserved parking was distant on a dirt lot. Wheelchair seating was less than desirable. There were over 500 graduates and it seemed that each one brought 15 family members. Many stood pointing their cameras taking videos or still shots blocking our view.

As it turned out Paige relaxed, enjoying the preparation and Zach’s luncheon. She did not get tired, and enjoyed being with Melanie, Stephanie, and Janet, while the food was being prepared. As for the ceremony, a professionally created DVD is available. Now she can see the ceremony (much better than we did on site!) and a close-up of Zach.

Stephanie made the right call. Although Paige had planned for months to attend the ceremony, she came out happy. There was less stress; she enjoyed Zach’s luncheon—and the whole day immensely. She does a remarkable job of sublimating her desires, goals, and anticipations. Sometimes you just have to throw some things overboard and charge ahead on the journey.

So, its forward we go. Sustained by the Grace of God and the love of family and friends, we cherish this day and the precious caring of all of you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, June 1, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige is managing her nighttime leg brace wondrously.  It has not bothered her sleep; as of now, it there is no issue with it. Its purpose is  to straighten her leg gradually while she sleeps.  It has a ratchet control for incremental adjustments. Paige also finds security in her daytime leg brace; it does wonders for her being able to stand for transitions from place to place.  This brace prevents her foot from rotating onto its side, which had caused pain when standing. Thus, new pressure has developed causing discomfort.

We called the Hanger Orthopedic and Prosthetic Clinic this week: Thomas gave us a quickie appointment to attend to a hot spot under Paige’s leg brace. He was careful and attentive. So far, Paige has no broken skin. The caregivers and I monitor like bloodhounds, any hotspots (I started to say like Corgis, but not everyone knows the laser-like focus a Corgi has). As I’m sure you know, broken skin opens a whole new treatment pattern. We are immensely blessed that in Paige’s limitation to wheelchair, lift chair, and bed, there have neither “bed sores” nor broken skin. Transitions from one stationary place to another are the most difficult; they are scary to Paige. The fear of falling dominates her thinking during a transition. Her caregivers and I work at refocusing those fears as we assist her.

Throughout this journey, Paige and I benefit also from these Updates; strange isn’t it? For in composing and reflecting on these lines, we get to reframe our circumstances. They strengthen us; comments you make also give us strength, encouragement — and frequently, laughter!  Our bedtime reading THE UPPER ROOM and daily readings from Bread for the Journey, by  Henri Nouwen, give us inner strength.

I think Paige is dealing with her losses nobly. Those who study such give good insight for dealing with loss; “Loss and trauma can shatter the pieces of our lives, ravage our relationships, and subvert our very identities.”(Guy Winch; Emotional First Aid.) Susan Krauss Whitbourne Ph.D. wrote, “The experience of loss also shatters your assumptions about the world…” Paige and I try to face loss realistically. Loss is an equal opportunity experience. The old hymn we shared early in this Journey truly speaks to loss:  “We share our mutual woes, Our mutual burdens bear; And often for each other flows The sympathizing tear.”

A couple of experiences this week lifted Paige’s spirit:

• Paige loves beautiful red Geraniums—so I bought three plants and made a hanging basket for just outside the kitchen window.
• The other was a wonderful dinner Jennifer, Katie, and Zach; grilled for us last night. It was as much a blessing—their grilling here with us—- it was delicious.  In case you’re interested, I’ve attached two photos below.

We got word today that Paige may be in line for a “Sit-to-stand” lift; it can greatly reduce the danger of her falling. Unless insurance issues drag on, we may be in for another milestone in this Journey!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, June 8, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Parker Palmer said, “Old is just another word for nothing left to lose, a time to take bigger risks on behalf of the common good.” Paige and I don’t call our home “The Old Folks Home,” but we’re realizing the truth of it. I think I got a glimpse of truth when Jennifer referred a professional landscape company to us;  Some time ago I followed Paige’s advice to stop driving the lawn tractor (which I sold this week). This does not mean Paige and I are giving up: on the contrary. As Doris Roberts testified on aging before a Senate committee “…the majority of seniors are self-sufficient, middle-class consumers with more assets than most young people, and the time and talent to offer society.” Therefore, we are keeping our home environment cheerful, our focus clear, our relationships vital, and our toenails trimmed.

But. Hopes cannot sag much; having friends such as ours assures such! Sunday morning, Faith Carr showed up in our Sunday school class with a tote bag: she had filled it with bib towels for Paige. Using one of Paige’s, she made them of Sumer-weight, reversible, cheerfully colored fabrics. Faith leads a group in our church (Sewing With Faith) that makes prayer quilts and prayer squares for persons going through difficult times. She discovered that although Paige is learning to eat with her left hand, she spills some. Paige’s Terry-cloth bib towels are too warm now that the cold weather is gone: Faith’s gift is just one more way friends are showing their love and care for Paige.

Paige’s sharpness and theological insight popped up the other night. Our pastor, Rev. Susan Allen Grady had asked me to preach on Father’s Day, in her absence.  I graciously declined, citing “reasons” I couldn’t do it. That night after our UPPER ROOM devotional time, Paige recalled the author’s point; getting out of one’s comfort zone.  She said, “Do you think God is calling you out of your comfort zone?” The next morning I told Susan I would preach for her, after all. You don’t get much past Paige: as usual, Paige sees through to the core, and zeros in on what needs to be done.

We continue pursuing the labyrinth with Medicare in getting a Sit-to-Stand lift.  It is getting more difficult for Paige to transition from seat to seat. Safety is our utmost concern while maintaining as much independence and dignity as possible. Typical is her “can-do” attitude, for which we are immensely grateful.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

June 15, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

The caregiver situation last week for Paige was in upheaval—days off, replacements not complete, caregiver no-shows—and other bumps along the way.  Yet we were immensely blessed: Our favorite fill-in CNA, and a favorite regular—both —were available to fill in all the gaps. It was wonderful. It is hard enough to accommodate bodily degeneration without worrying about a new person’s caregiving. You just can’t imagine the peace it gives Paige to have good, skilled, familiar caregivers. In gaps in shifts, or occasional no-shows, Paige and I fair rather well—I think. She tolerates my heavy-handed maleness —-and occasional memory lapses. So far I think we’re managing right good.

The book title, Lamentations, does not inspire exhilaration, yet Paige and I take great joy in this passage; “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope. It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”(3:21-23) The late Andre Crouch gave these words sticking strength: the tune tends to make its home in the ear. (See, there you are, already mentally humming “Great is Thy Faithfulness…”)—the young people call it an “Ear Worm.” But I digress. Each day has its own mischief—-threatening to dampen our spirits: nevertheless, we take comfort and joy in the compassions and faithfulness of God. It is futile to attempt to list every little or large blessing we receive: Andre sings it for us “…a peace that endureth, thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide; strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow, blessings all (ours) with ten thousand beside!”

And. Often, bright spots pop up; we got a new dishwasher this week replacing the eccentric old one. And. Janet (I’ve dubbed her “Professor Burtts”) trained two new caregivers: one for weeknights, the other to alternate Saturdays. At present, we have a full compliment of caregivers. Also, since our Church Night Dinners are suspended during the summer, we have excellent fillers-in. One member arranged fundraisers for our youth mission trip; a different restaurant each week gives a portion of its Wednesday sales. This week picked up food at Bambinelli’s, a terrific locally owned Italian restaurant. Paige loves their Lasagna: for us it had to be take-out. The portions were so abundant we made several meals of it! 

We continue to monitor the pain in Paige’s right foot: Thomas, at the Hanger Clinic, said the pain might be that the brace is forcing correction faster than is comfortable.  He gave us some things to try that may help. If not, he may need us to come in for technical adjustment.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, June 22, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

It was an interesting week: I was afraid I would not be able to send out this week’s installment: this file disappeared. No search was helpful. I was frantic; it contained much of the resources I use each week. I felt like a carpenter whose toolbox had been stolen! Some Cyber miracle restored it; reminds me of the work of the Holy Spirit.  I don’t understand His inner workings, but how I rely on them! And. Our housekeeper’s husband and the wife of our Physical Therapist, both, had gall bladder surgery Wednesday. Also, there was more caregiver rotation: we did get good replacements. We have come to understand something of a population undulation in this business.        

I must add, Paige and I have deep appreciation for caregivers like Janet, or Simone, or Tonya, or Pamela. Not only  are they attentive but also they add “the lily work.”  The term is in an obscure comment in 1 Kings 7:19. King Solomon’s opulent house is being built. There is a detailed description of its construction and magnificent materials; including sources of the materials. The passage builds up to its completion. The work is finished; at the top of the pillars “lily work” is added.   It was not required for support nor integrity of the building. Probably no one would have noticed its absence. But that extra touch was enough that it is noted in the Scripture. Lily work. An example; Tonya, the Friday night caregiver, before leaving for the night folds the toilet tissue neatly pointing downward for ready access; Lily work.

On a lighter note, Paige has always been a proper and orderly person; our family calls it her “Elma Syndrome.” – (Elma was her mother and was a detail, careful, person.) We sometimes like to lighten things up. When Paige comments on something that is not just right, or out of place: we call her “Goldilocks,”  Who wanted everything, “just right,” However, we try not to overuse the term lest it become a trite, or worse, a sore spot: we find an abundance of other things to laugh about.

We are quite pleased that as the in-home Physical Therapy ends, we are scheduled for PT at the Emory Brain Health Center. We can’t speculate with any clarity, how we got in so quickly, but we are pleased. It is important that Paige not have breaks very long in PT sessions. An advantage of going to Emory is that the sessions seem to be more helpful.  They have a greater variety of equipment, and are able to spent more time with her.

Next week we should be able to fill you in with some details.  Thank you for your prayers and perpetual love.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, June 29, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I are grateful that this week she returned to PT sessions at the

Emory Brain Health Center. The staff there is immensely helpful and upbeat; sessions are longer than the in-home PT  sessions, and there is a wide range of equipment. Although the sessions are tiring, the results are encouraging.

“I’ve come to believe that if we start each day from a place of gratitude, then it’s bound to go a bit better than it would if we didn’t.”  –Maria Shriver (quoted in GUIDEPOSTS). Paige and I have learned, no, we are learning, to maintain an attitude of gratitude. We have far more reasons to be grateful than to be grudging or griping. 

To abuse a line from Elizabeth Barrett Browning; “How do I (Thank) Thee? Let me count the ways.” I won’t number the ways, ‘cause I can’t count that high; nor can I retain your attention that long! But we will tell you that we are extremely thankful for our many blessings. We find that the more life throws at you the greater your gratitude grows. It is a little like a road trip; travelling down an interstate highway you may get to your destination sooner (unless you travel through Atlanta!) But driving along US 41, or GA 24, you see farms, little towns, peach trees, cornfields, and, yes, pine trees. You find texture, awe, and often, sprinkles of memories. The landscape gives specific views, as opposed to the blur through the window and traffic. As this journey imposes a slower pace upon Paige and me our gratitude increases.

Therefore we come to appreciate family and friends who show caring; you bring opportunities for sharing stories, and listening intently to developing stories. Paige and I pay more attention to birdsongs in our trees and enjoy the coming and going of blossoms around our house. And.  Many things we always take for granted make us grateful as well; such as flipping on a switch and the lights come on, running water from the faucet—hot or cold by choice, doors and windows for comfort and security. Then, most fearsome and wonderful is—our body.  Think about it; stop breathing for a moment—see how necessary is the next breath!? Without a thought your body just keeps breath going. We are grateful for what does work.

Special visits blessed Paige this week; her sister called and they talked for an hour or so. Zack and Katie came, and sitting on the floor, “hung out” before Zach left for his summer job at Camp Glisson (the church camp where they’ve spent so much time.) Jennifer and Katie came and spent time with Paige while they planned a California college tour.

In a word, Gratitude flows—-well, that’s more a phrase than a word.  But you get the idea!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, July 6, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

I need to say this right off: in today’s fast paced world, my wordy Updates are likely to fall on deaf or deadened ears. But thanks for reading/listening.  In a large measure, putting these weekly Updates in writing is much more helpful for Paige and me than anyone else: mainly because it gives us perspective. So, please pardon us as we lean our thoughts against your ears (or eyes, as the  case may be). Of course we appreciate your responses, brief or otherwise. The main thing is that you are a part or our closely-knit community of compassion loving and caring about us. Thank you! And we thank you for your praying specifically!!!

Therefore, it is even more necessary that we do this “leaning”; an article on caregivers’ sense of isolation underscores our need for staying connected with you: “Family caregivers … often lack support networks or the time to access available support networks, and there is evidence that social support networks dwindle over time in many caregiving scenarios, resulting in a sense of isolation.”  (The American Psychological Association) So.  In a very real sense, you are part of our support system!  Thank you!

This week during a thunderstorm, lightening zapped the DVD port on our HDMI TV connection. Games, reading, and activities requiring a lot of focus are difficult for Paige; as a result, she relies on upbeat DVDs and movies a whole lot. Our Katie came over and popped in a new connection, set up the options, and wrote basic steps for Paige. It worked wonderfully! On Saturday, Jennifer came over. She and I grilled steaks, chicken, and vegetables—for dinner together, and for her “Planned-overs” for later. Although Paige can no longer prepare meals and cook, she enjoys being in the midst of things joining in from her wheelchair: she is also a superb resource for any kitchen questions etc. that pop up.

On the Fourth of July, Jennifer brought Varsity hotdogs, onion rings and French fries for lunch together. It was a welcomed “4^th Celebration”—she included Janet in our lunch, too. (Although caregivers are supposed to provide their own meals, Janet is almost like family—having been with us nearly three years.) We did miss Zach and Katie. He is on staff at Camp Glisson, and Katie was “hanging with friends”; as you know, teenagers won’t be caught dead with family! 😉

For the next few days, Jennifer and Katie are in San Francisco etc., exploring colleges for Katie for 2019! (The kid’s growing up!!) So Paige and I are monitoring the home front (Dixie is “boarding” at Harrison Cora’s—they spared us that task!) While at Stanford U. they will have lunch with some dear friends at the Stanford Business School (No, Katie isn’t looking at the business school, but our friend is the retired Dean.) Paige is intently following their journey —-I read each text to her they send. She is delighted Katie has this opportunity!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, July 13, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

In the category of “It doesn’t get any better than this”—Zach, our grandson, had Saturday off from his Camp Glisson crew duties; he came and spent more than an hour with Paige and me, regaling us with camp stories.  Paige was thrilled; 1) That Zach wanted to see her, and 2) that he was unhurried, relaxed, and gushing with things to tell her about his experiences. I don’t know when I’ve seen her happier.

On the good-news bad-news front, our hopes glimmer; Paige’s transfers are getting more difficult—as well as unsafe. There is good news; Both the in-home Physical Therapist and now the Emory Brain Health Physical Therapist think Paige needs the “Sara Plus” sit-to-stand lift: it is the safest, most comfortable, and most useful. It will assist Paige in standing and taking some steps, because of the sturdy arm lifts and hand grips; Paige’s right arm needs stabilization and so does her grip: this lift compensates for these.

Paige’s Neurologist at Emory is being asked to give a medical order for this specific lift. Paige and I think he will do so right away. We also learned that the manufacturer would allow Paige to have a trial run with it to verify her needs and its usefulness for her. We feel positive about the Sara-Plus lift order because early on, our Neurologist prescribed a power chair—which costs twice as much as this lift— and Paige was fitted for it. However it turned out to be less useful than everyone had hoped, so Paige did not order it.

This week we have become aware that we must take additional steps—beyond what the lift will add— for Paige’s safety. The hills along this Journey are getting steeper: more of a challenge. From time to time, we must pause, look around, and develop a keen sense of situation awareness; we do not want to make unwise nor expensive missteps. We are grateful for many resources available; our choices must be carefully tailored to Paige’s specific needs.

I am very proud of Paige, but not surprised, that she keeps her spirits buoyed, and finds humor in life, while recognizing her motor-skills’ decline. Sometimes — when I’ve cracked a particularly bad joke—she laughs and says “I’m so mad at myself for wasting my time and energy on that!” and we both crack up laughing—this time at ourselves. Most of our regular caregivers not only often laugh with us, but also seem amazed at the humor we find in our situation, our life, and ourselves in general. As I’ve said before in these messages, humor is a great medicine  

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, July 20, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

There are turns in the trail of any journey; this Journey is no exception. Paige has come to a decision; it is no longer safe to transfer from her wheelchair into and out of the car. Other transfers are more difficult too: Dystonia is affecting Paige’s extremities causing transfers to undermine her confidence.  Our daughters, Jennifer and Melanie, and daughter-in-law Stephanie, are exploring with us alternatives to make our daily life safer and happier.  Stephanie has had similar experiences with her parents, and is a helpful guide.  We are grateful for their love, concern, help, and lack of cussing (in front of us, anyway).

We received word that the Sara-Plus sit-to-stand lift arrived and soon will be brought to us; they want to make sure it works for Paige. Measurements from the company seem to indicate it will be workable for us; actual physical maneuvering on site may be another matter. That should become clear in a few days.

Our most dramatic alternative being considered is a move to Wesley Woods Towers, a senior living facility of Emory University. Paige, Jennifer, Janet, and I had an official tour of the facility today; we were favorably impressed. They treated us to a sumptuous lunch, and we visited three styles of their apartments. The best news is that Paige is hopeful about this possibility. We are putting our names on the waiting list.  It could be six months, or it could be just a month or so before one becomes available.

We never thought a move such as this would come up so soon—or at all. But Paige is deeply concerned about creating more effort and strain on the caregivers or on me. As this disease inches on toward greater degeneration, she has turned her attention to creating less stress and greater accommodation of both of us.  Paige is just that way.

Thank you for your prayers; especially for your openness in sharing what you are going through. We’re all in this together. If you have not yet reached this stage of your journey remember this: Long-term care insurance should be in in place now; we should have done so earlier, but thank the Lord, we did get started soon enough to help. Keep close to your Faith, family, and friends.  And remember the final words of John Wesley; “The Best of all is, God is with us.”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, July 27, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Good News! The Sara-Plus lift came Thursday evening. We had a brief demonstration then—not nearly enough. On Friday (today), with Janet, we put it into use. There is a learning curve, but so far Paige likes it.  As we use it we will become more skilled in its functions; already we find it eliminating a lot of heavy lifting (Not that Paige is all that heavy—I kid her about her “skinny” legs). We learned this week that a few caregivers dropped out because of physical strain during transfers: therefore we are immensely grateful for this marvelous machine!

Our week started off with our making strategies to launch into our next adventure in this journey; a move to Wesley Woods.  We do not know if it will be soon— or months later, but we have put our names on the waiting list officially.

Therefore, the Journey is beginning to feel like river-rafting; there are smooth spots, but the view ahead looks like heading into rapids. Then down river —- which is uncharted— looks as if some rapids demand some, if not a lot of dramatic, off-loading our stuff— uh I mean treasures. Our children already have homes furnished with their choices. There is little that we have that they need or can use. As with any possessions, there is emotion attached;  “Our first…” or “When we lived in…” and “…—gave us this.”  Yet necessity demands release: downsizing is in itself emotional. Downsizing, while dealing with the ravages of disease, feels like a tidal wave.

This morning concluded with a visit from a nurse from our Long-Term care insurance. She saw Paige’s situation first hand, reviewed her treatment and meds, and asked a lot of questions; it was a visit to verify, if not justify our claim. Again we are deeply grateful we have good insurance.  It still doesn’t pay everything, but does lighten the load. We are grateful for every bit of it.

Every call, visit, note, or E-mail Paige gets really blesses her.  Today she got a call from her (school) Para-Pro from over 30 years ago!! It blessed her wonderfully. We also remember you and your circumstances in our thoughts and prayers

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, August 3, 2018

Dear Family and Friends

Woo Hoo! Last week I said our Journey feels much like river rafting; I do not claim foreknowledge in any way. But. Wesley Woods called and no one down the list was ready to move in—so, we will move in! Among the good things to come; we paid our deposit for an October 1, 2018 move-in; Wesley Woods Towers 1825 Clifton Road, N.E. Apt. #1102, Atlanta, GA 30329. Paige, Janet, Zach, our grandson, and I toured the actual apartment being renovated for us. We made measurements, notes, and anticipations. We were then treated to a marvelous lunch along with other residents; the beautiful dining room overlooks a verdant forest on the bank of Peachtree Creek North.

Now we are speeding toward those rapids down-river. Just eight weeks to downsize 55 years of accumulation. Paige and I both look at our treasures (stuff, really) and our minds replay years of mental movies; each item provokes a scene— sometimes an entire series.  Therefore we resolved that our move becomes anticipation of good things to come; we will glimpse those scenes of our memory, but tuck them away for future “afterglow” times. We relish one aspect of purging; managing endless lines of maintenance, care, and cost: some of the fleas that come with the dog of homeownership.

And. Remember our rejoicing last week? We received and used the Sara-Plus-lift Friday. Then came a glitch: it worked well all day. Paige warmed up to it remarkably; that night it quit.  We waited all weekend for word on repair or replacement.  We knew it was a demonstration model: obviously it was not in excellent condition electronically. The company sent another demonstrator today, Friday. Paige is delighted with it; so is Janet, sans the need for muscle strength.  On such glitches and others along this Journey, we take in stride; especially when there’s a good outcome.

In the “It’s-a-Small-World” category, Paige and I made a happy discovery at Embry Hills UMC; our Interim Music Director, Dottie Hunt, is the daughter of Brev Hunt. We were in college with him at Georgia Southern University. Later, when we lived in Warner Robins, GA, where Dottie’s mother was organist at First United Methodist church. And. Brev, Dottie’s father, was the Principal at Lindsey Elementary School, where Melanie, our daughter, entered first grade. We like to say, “This is the Methodist Connection”.  😉

Pastor Susan’s visit this week thrilled Paige. Yet another Methodist Connection; Paige discovered that as a little girl, Susan lived next door to the mother of Paige’s college roommate, Amanda Tanner. Amanda was grown and gone when Susan lived there, but Mrs. Tanner, adopted Susan, in a manner of speaking. Paige and Susan had a grand time relishing this newfound connection. Susan has a wonderfully hearty laugh, which blesses Paige!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, August 10, 2018

Dear Family and Friends

Our present challenge is to live in with only fifty days before we vacate 2722 Regal Way, moving into Wesley Woods Towers. We face decisions to be made, schedules to manage, coordinating whatever, and the unknown, flying at us like detritus from the blower of a stump shredder. Maybe you will understand if this UPdate, and likely a few more, may seem a little out of kilter. In facing these next few days, I like to recall what Christopher Robin said to Pooh: “Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

I think this will serve us well.

Paige and I don’t know what we would do if it were not for our Faith, Family, and Friends; not only do y’all surround us with various means of support, but also you do so much to keep us on track. We are eternally grateful to you! A number of you have offered to help; right now, we don’t even know what kind of help we will need in this move. I am sure we can’t do all this by ourselves.

Paige is growing more comfortable with the abruptness with which the Sara-

Plus, Lift yanks, uh— I mean lifts her into a standing position. It snuggly ensconces her within the safety harness; securely she rests her arms on the supports and handgrips— even though only her left hand can grip. So the learning curve is becoming more comfortable. Marty, our PT guy looked in on Paige this week; he gave helpful pointers for safety and comfort. He also pointed out that the machine’s lifting her to standing position helps strengthen her legs—both bone and muscle. Marty is quite positive as he pushes Paige to her limits; often beyond her own expectations.

We have visited our future apartment at Wesley Woods Towers, so we know the Sara lift will work fine there; Paige and caregivers will have a good bit less stress and physical exertion. Without some expensive remodeling, our house cannot accommodate Paige’s physical needs adequately. That reality itself, gives us more incentive to make this move.        

Zach is now off to UGA for his freshman year; Katie is well launched into her senior year at Lakeside HS. We expect our next hurdle to be the move in October to Wesley Woods Towers.  It foments a year as dramatic as the year 2000: our move from St Simons Island to Tucker, Katie’s birth, my appointment as Executive Director of the Georgia Council on Moral and Civic Concerns, and the purchase of our present home; hopefully with as many blessings to come. As we say, the Journey continues.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, August 17, 2018

Dear Family and Friends

Connie announced in Sunday school, the budding of a huge blessing for Paige and me upon our move to Wesley Woods Towers. Connie was concerned that Paige would be alone during my two hour round trip to practice with the Altar Egos (the Bluegrass group at our church.). Connie is setting up an online signup: volunteers from our SS class and friends may choose an evening to visit with Paige while I’m at practice. Connie now thinks each person may only be needed once every six or eight weeks for the two-hour block. This blessing will allow me to continue playing with the Altar Egos as well as some social time for Paige.

This generous gesture not only will give Paige a chance to visit with people other than me, but also will give me some refreshing creativity time. Friends are wonderfully attentive to our wellbeing; cheering Paige with messages and notes as well as checking that I take care of myself. We both are in awe of such love.

This week’s checkup with Paige’s primary Neurologist was routine; nothing new was prescribed. An inane visit with our doctor is always welcome. Next, was a visit upstairs at the Hanger Orthopedic and Prosthetic Clinic; the technician examined Paige’s shoes, brace, foot, and leg.  He made recommendations for shoe corrections to permit a more effective and better fit. The day was made more tiring for Paige because a multi-vehicle accident on the freeway stopped the transport driver for over an hour, Thankfully, he reduced his fee and refused a tip. Reminds me of the old hymn, “Count your many blessings, name them one by one…”

 Well, I can’t do that; you would stop reading after several pages and I have to end this tome at some point. Suffice to say, our blessings are manifold (I think that means “A whole bunch!”)

One of the simple blessings we cherish is our time alone together; whether a caregiver didn’t show up, or we’re in between shifts. Walt Whitman said it better in Glimpse: “There we two, content, happy in being together, speaking little, perhaps not a word.” Living in the moment, frees us of worries and fears; we can focus on contentment for each other.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, August 24, 2018

Dear Family and Friends

Our Journey takes a new turn; our plans for moving to Wesley Woods Towers go on apace. Movers are scheduled; both Melanie and Jennifer arranged their work schedules to be onsite helping pack up and move. We are relieved that we have those matters time pegged; coordinating schedules from six different angles could become a tangle if we tarry. Both daughters have extremely limited time blocks for helping this time of year. We are deeply grateful that they willingly help us in this turning point in our life.

Living with dystonia and continued degeneration of her physical abilities, Paige keeps her can-do spirit and positive outlook. For example, she does not pine away over leaving the master-kitchen she designed herself; She looks toward a lighter load of simple living at Wesley Woods Towers. She sees her conquering culinary conquests days as the Paige of history  (pun intended): those skills do not define her as a person. Actually, she is quite astonished at the admiration and support she is getting from family, friends and former colleagues.

Paige and I recognize there is something liberating in what Capulet said in Romeo and Juliet;  “…you and I are past our dancing days.”

We are freed to claim our present time, blessings, and make realistic choices. We have nothing to prove; nothing to regret: only joy in living and celebrating the family, friends, and choices we have made. We celebrated our 55^th wedding anniversary on Monday, doing just that—recalling, often in some detail, what we were doing at certain times then. In doing so, we remembered with joy many of you, who played—and still play—– an important role in our lives.

 In celebrating, we reflected on events of that day, and the years following; again our laughter erupted numbers of times. And so, dear family and friends, those years have brought us closer to each other and to you. Laughter is an important part of our day; laughing at our own foibles or events around us is a daily experience.  This week we watched a movie in which Tim Conway appeared in scenes woven throughout.  Again he provoked joyous laughter for both of us. We celebrate the laughter and joy you have provided us over the years.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, August 31, 2018

Dear Family and Friends

This week’s calendar looked pretty clear. Until. A Pandora’s box opened. A phone call announcing the delivery of the new Sara-Plus lift (replacing the demonstrator); a “reality check” of the calendar related to our move to Wesley Woods Towers; discovering and mending gas line leaks in our crawlspace; reshuffling doctor appointments; other typical life-experiences of daily vicissitudes in this Journey. I remember from my pilot training days that “course correction” is a constant in any flight—even after the most detailed flight planning.  The good news is that none of our “course corrections” was life altering; just interesting intersections in our Journey.

Paige and I have many stepping-stones along this Journey. Most of them we could not possibly have laid by ourselves. Therefore our journey is made a great deal easier. Some steppingstones are bridges over troubled waters; upon some steppingstones are written words of hope and assurance by fellow sojourners; some steppingstones are carefully laid, providing a well-marked trail; others are steep curves, scary and abrupt; and on some, you stump your toe! How ever the steppingstones lie, we rest in the assurance that “… though (we) walk through the valley of the shadow of death,(we) will fear no evil: for thou art with(us).”  Helen Keller said,  “The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome: The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse.” 

And this I picked up somewhere; “Valleys are great places to enjoy your walk with God.”

Isn’t that where God promises to be with us?

Tuesday, at his and my weekly breakfast, I thanked my college buddy, Dick Baker, for his friendship and willingness to continue our weekly food fests.  His reply reminded me of this: “Friendship that flows from the heart cannot be frozen by adversity, as the water that flows from the spring cannot congeal in winter.”

This also applies to all of you; Paige and I thank you!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, September 7, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

There is an abundance of information on the Internet about Parkinson’s disease; its credibility varies. Our neurologists told us that ways are plenitude in how this disease impacts people; we have chosen to listen to our neurologists. We communicate with them, rather than trying to interpret Internet reports/speculations of the trajectory of Parkinson’s. On many levels medical science acknowledges the abundance of benefits of a positive outlook; hope, laughter, good attitude, positive friends and family, all serve healthy benefits to this journey.

We choose to watch happy, positive movies on DVD and TV; we avoid the news, and talk shows. Instead we opt for humor, hope, helpful stories, and test patterns— well, not test patterns, really.  But that did give you a start, didn’t it!? ‘cause you remember what a test pattern is! 😉   For some, our approach to the is media “head in the sand.” More appropriately it is keeping our outlook toward the positive and good things of life of which there are many. Henry Nouwen said, “The facts of everyday life are a rich source for doomsday thinking and feeling. But it is possible for us to resist this temptation (emphasis added) to stand with self-confidence in this world, never losing our spiritual ground, always aware that ‘sky and earth will pass away’ but the words of Jesus sill never pass away” (Luke 21:33). [Nouwen: Bread for the Journey] Paige and I know our depth comes from our spiritual disciplines of our faith; our hope for humanity looks beyond what the media persistently presents.

We rely a whole lot on this Proverbs passage: A joyful heart helps healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones. (17:22 CEB); or the KJV — A merry heart doeth good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Norman Cousins, Editor-in-chief of The Saturday Review, discovered the healing power of laughter after suffering a strange and incurable illness. In 1979, he detailed his pilgrimage in his book,  Anatomy of an Illness.

 Medical science now offers more support to the healing power of laughter. Paige and I do not immerse in hilarity day and night as Norman Cousins did; yet we do find—and create— many occasions for laughing: side-spitting, belly laughs, and plain simple chuckles.

May we ask your prayers for us as we pack to move to Wesley Woods Towers the first week in October?  We move from a 4 bedroom, super-size kitchen & den, finished basement, ranch-style house—into a two-bedroom apartment with the kitchen the size of a telephone booth [Oh! You don’t remember those: it is a tiny….  Well, call me and I’ll explain! 😉 ]  Just pray for us anyway!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, September 14, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

This week at Paige’s Neurologist’s appointment, he clarified why she is experiencing occasional confusion; one of her meds can have that side effect.  Therefore, he is gradually decreasing dosage; he will monitor the progress and adjust as needed.  As our first family doctor, Dr. Bird Daniel, said, “That’s why we call it the Practice of Medicine.”

Paige was aware of its expected trajectory from the time of her Parkinson’s diagnosis. However, that does not immunize her from occasional anxiety about the diminution of her body. Nevertheless, she sometimes has to remind her Certified Nursing Assistants— and me—to push her to do the PT exercises anyway. There’s that “can-do” spirit shining through; although exercise will not reverse Parkinson’s, it can help slow its progress. Winston Churchill said, “Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never—in nothing,…” I kinda think Paige has adopted this axiom.

On a more humorous note let me say right off, this is not a complaint; it is an observation: often resulting in panic, disdain, frustration and good humor.  For the record, I have lived with a degreed Home Sciences Technician for over 55 years, (back in the olden days they called it Home Economics) 😉 —but I digress. Therefore, some things come from habit informed by a plan; knives go in this drawer (or holder). Blades down. Flatware goes in that drawer: each in its own compartment. Baking utensils go in that cabinet. Serving utensils in there, pots down there, and pans up here; Cabinets and drawers closed. Always. Except when in use. So There!! And I love it!  Now that the kitchen is my domain it makes for ease of kitchen magic; or a reasonable facsimile thereof.

However. In the parade of Certified Nursing Assistants—every home and every culture has its own way of doing things—-well, let’s just say it often becomes what I whimsically call the “Kitchen Easter-Egg-Hunt.” Janet is our best finder besides our daughter, Jennifer—who can find a Jar Spatula in a root cellar. Just shy of buying the missing measuring spoon, or favorite knife, I ask Janet, “Have you seen the (whatever I have spent three days I’ve searching for)?” Right away she finds it. It is not that I am unfamiliar with the kitchen. I always helped Paige in the kitchen; though not quite a Sous Chef, I did learn a few things. Therefore it is often a source of great amusement when I’m looking for something in the kitchen after a different helper has emptied the dishwasher; where I wind up finding the elusive culprit, it becomes the source of lots of laughs.

Sorry I’m running late with this Update, but it has been a full week.  It is almost time for Paige’s and my ice-cream treat, so it so long for now.  We love you, your love and prayers mean so much to us!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, September 21, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

As the days careen toward M Day, (moving to Wesley Woods Towers) we are grateful for the support of our daughters, Melanie and Jennifer. Though separated by miles, both are poised to give maximum help/support in this transition; possibly among the most dramatic in our life together. We look forward to adjusting; as hymn writer James Russell Lowell wrote, “New occasions teach new duties.”

One practice the Certified Nursing Assistants and I work at mastering is assisting Paige, as she needs it, at mealtime. Usually, she only needs assistance in balancing food on her spoon; other times she may need someone to feed her; it depends upon how, at the moment, her hands respond to her mental commands. From time to time, Paige says, “I wish I could do this for myself.” Nevertheless, she accepts with grace our doing for her what she cannot do for herself.

Sometimes, I—“Mr. Fixit”— try to jump in and take over when I see her struggling. Often she will tacitly allow me to go ahead with my “fixing;” other times she may say, “I could have done that myself.” When she is quite tired, she may ask for some help. I know it must be awfully frustrating, having been able all your life to do simple things for yourself; suddenly you find even the simplest stone become a huge boulder of hindrance.

Many Parkinson’s patients struggle with tremors.  Paige’s medication manages her tremors rather well; medication, however, is not helping make good connection between mental commands and functional use of her body; sometimes it impacts her feet or hinders her conversation. Mentally, Paige is spot on: the articulation connection, however, won’t always complete on command: it frustrates her but she tries anyway. American Israeli teacher, Tal Ben-Shahar said, “Things don’t necessarily happen for the best, but some people are able to make the best of things that happen;”

 I think Paige does a grand job of doing just that.

Paige and I give thanks to God when we discover that these Updates are special help or met some immediate need one of you has. As Paige often says, “Everybody is dealing with something!” Sometimes when we find someone with a particularly difficult struggle, we too, think, “How do they manage to deal with that!?” I think it was German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, who wrote, “He who has why to live can bear almost any how.”

Christians have the “Why;” nevertheless we sometimes fail to claim it. When we lean on each other, the “why” shows up and we’re comforted, even healed.

A discovery that pleases Paige: Wesley Woods Towers is virtually on the way home from school for Jennifer. She says it will be easy for her to drop in—frequently she hopes— for a visit. Family and Friends will take on another sense of closeness as we move into this new community.  We love keeping in touch with you!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, September 28, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

The next UPdate you receive will be written from Wesley Woods Towers. Moving day is upon us. We have had a wonderful week! Melanie was here from Texas for three nights and part of four days helping prepare and pack.  Jennifer and Melanie joined us for an orientation luncheon at Wesley Woods Towers and a tour of our new apartment. Jennifer posted a picture on Facebook of all of us at lunch there. (If you didn’t find it and want to see it, E-mail me.)

There is something of a romantic melancholy encompassing this week; we’re leaving our home of eighteen years; parceling out treasures and trash, preparing for new schedules, new Certified Nursing Assistants, and can’t find anything we immediately need. We just can’t help laughing at ourselves. We are delighted that Jennifer and Melanie want some of our treasures; Zachary wants my tools.  Katie hasn’t weighed in yet; she’s too engrossed in senior-year-in-high school, college search, and a certain young man who will remain unnamed in this tome. Also, she is pondering her upcoming ACL surgery set for next week. (Nine months to heal.) The mostly completed destination designations of our detritus give us a lot of peace in the midst of our turmoil for this section of our journey.

The visit this week to the Hanger Orthopedic Clinic was productive; the new technician made some significant adjustments to Paige’s leg brace. So far it seems to be making a positive difference. The nighttime hand brace is an erratic fit; it’s hard to tell whether the fluctuation is due to lack of care by a Certified Nursing Assistant, or if it is how Paige’s hand feels at bedtime. The nighttime leg brace is the most consistently fitting brace of all. Even so, Paige treks on in this journey with a great spirit, and virtually no grousing. I’m so proud of her. When you lose about ninety five percent of your former activities, and your social contact degenerates to virtually family and caregivers, it must be a stalwart soul to keep on keeping on; Paige does it with aplomb; and skillfully; and with poise.  

We also sent our applications for Official Absentee Ballots; polling places are out of the question for Paige, but we will vote together as usual. We appreciate our friend and neighbor, Sally Harrell’s role in making this happen. The dilemma we were in is that our assigned polling place is virtually around the corner from us, but we will move before the Election Day; after which we will be assigned a new polling location. So, on Election Day, look on the tote board; our votes will be there! (That’s kinda like looking for Zach at Sanford Stadium; He’s the one wearing a red shirt.

As Woody Woodpecker would sign off—“That’s all Folks!”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, October 5, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Well.  Here we are, safely ensconced into our new home; 1102 Wesley Woods Towers—just down the street from where Paige and started dating—Emory University. Although we were friends at Georgia Southern, we never dated there. So it’s sorta like old home week (No pun intended!): more about that later.

This part of our journey is instructive; in that dramatically, and quickly, you learn to simplify. We’re not yet at a “minimalist” point such as grandson Zach is, but we’ve headed that direction; you learn a lot about what you do not need, or can get along without.

No family move is without its bumps and scrapes; ours is not unique. In the past we had to be clear of the parsonage on moving day for the new pastoral family’s move-in that afternoon. Nothing left behind. No going back. Sad farewells Sunday, happy-glad-to-be-here on the next. This time a troika of needs pulled us;

1) move our essentials/needs/desired items;

2), adjust our “stuff” (develop wiggle room) and

3) Prepare the house for sale.

Paige has soldiered on nobly, given that unlike all other moves when she was front and center in the process, she couldn’t be this time.

We’re learning to adjust to not only new caregivers (but for Janet—she stays), but also to their way or serving.  We think they will work out fine—maybe a little more professional than some we’ve had; their routines are a good bit different, in that they are “in-house” and don’t travel from Hahira or Villa Rica.  More ‘bout that later, with laughs!

We cannot state emphatically enough how much help Jennifer, Melanie, members of our “Joyful Sunday School Class,” and friends have helped in this transition!  “Thank You!” certainly doesn’t do it justice, but helps! And thank you for your prayers!  We’ve seen clear evidence. God bless you all!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, October 12, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

First of all, our move went very well; it has, however, been unusual. As we mentioned last week, unlike moving from one parsonage to another —with a 24-hour-turn-around from one to the other—we still have our former house. The contents of our former house face a pretty good case of Schizophrenia. We keep swapping things-–or should I say, “wiggling” into our new—much smaller quarters. In the past, we never had this luxury; a trial and error process–fitting into our new digs.

I can say, response to maintenance requests at Wesley Woods Towers happens more quickly and with less hassle than with Parsonage committees. The food is good, even for institutional food. Melvin, the food service guy, works hard to make it tasty, attractive, and an enticing ambiance. Staff does an excellent job of remembering resident’s names, adding a nice touch.

Connie, from our Joyful Sunday school class, came Thursday night to visit Paige so I could go to Tucker and practice with the Altar Egos.  (I hear we have a “Gig” on first Sunday in November.) Jennifer was here and had a chance to get to know Connie better.  It was a win-win evening!  I am so grateful; Connie, not only for making the trip from Canada (No, not really, just way North of Atlanta—nearly to Cumming) but also for setting up the schedule for additional such evenings for Paige: friends and SS class members sign up to take turns. We are entirely blessed!!

It has been a full week today [ 😉  ], so this news must do for now.  We love you and thank God for you!!

                                                                                                                        `

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, October 19, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

“We’re home now!” That’s what Jennifer and Melanie used to say when we moved to a new parsonage; found the light switches, our bed clothes, and were reasonably unpacked; having reassembled, wound, and started the grandfather clock— AND hearing its tubular chimes on the quarter-hour and striking each hour. That happened today! The delay came due to a broken cable on the 30-pound weight.  We had to engage a “clock guy” from Gainesville, GA to make the repair. So, “We’re home now!” —listening to those familiar chimes!

Our journey is teaching us valuable life lessons: the value of long-term friendships, Faith—the kind where you don’t need to know the outcome, but know the value of humor, where there is deep and abiding love. In that vein, some think sex is vital for love and marriage to grow; they have not learned what genuinely deep love is: love is being there without question; putting away the phone and computer and paying attention; it is guiding the awkward spoon so that food doesn’t spill; it is waiting till later to eat, to help your Love enjoy a hot meal; it is getting up the umpteenth time to adjust a shoe or brace; it is watching the 412^th rerun of a sappy movie; it is attending personal care needs with joy—–and upon each and every one deeply grateful that you can be there to do so, knowing that she desires deeply that she could do for herself, but can’t. The Media misses the point about love.

Paige and I feel deep gratitude for things, great and small, significant, or seemingly insignificant. A line from a hymn expresses our feeling: All things bright and beautiful, All creatures great and small, All things wise and wonderful, The Lord God made them all.

 Covers it quite well, I think. As Paige often likes to say, “This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.” Maybe she read that somewhere. 😉

Today, we are rejoicing!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, October 26, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Wow! What a celebration! Our daughters planned and carried out a BBQ birthday party for my 80^th birthday (Although Melanie and Stephanie could not attend—their lake house suffered damages from the hurricane), they were integral to the party. Jennifer and Katie included them with Face-time moments. We asked Janet to work the day, both to assist Paige and also to meet our friends. Paige was able to enjoy both the food and friends. By having Janet on board, Paige was much more relaxed; therefore visits with our friends was less stressful on her.

We’re trying a new schedule for the weekends; It involves having CNAs for more hours, and in some cases, some who are already familiar with Paige’s schedules. In our new digs, I’m sure we will do a fair amount of “see-sawing” to get the better rhythms in place; not perfect, just better.            

Now words to the wise:  Downsize. Now. Do not wait.  Stop reading this. Now, and come back to this after you take action.  Seriously; don’t put it off. It is not easy. A couple of years ago, I bought a book on how to down size. Yep.  Didn’t read it. Shoulda, Coulda’ Woulda’, just didn’t. But, we are amazed now at what you can get along—without! The ship of life accumulates barnacles; they weigh heavy; add drag to the journey.  Ultimately they not only cloud your vision but also threaten to steal your joy; the joy you thought you were reaching for while you accumulated those “barnacles.”

The other night, in the quiet of our down-sized-apartment, Paige and I said to each other; “This is wonderful.  Just the two of us enjoying the company of each other.” And I remembered again a classic:

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers; —
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

            -William Wordsworth

We’re only saying, “Don’t give your hearts away to Stuff” I’m sure Paige and I didn’t do that entirely; certainly not with intent. We do see substance in our lives. But. Barnacles accumulate; silently, sneakily, and sometimes in sinister ways. We’re glad we aren’t letting the downsizing steal our joy.

Late this afternoon, we finished our pre-wellness checkups (Yep.  Both of us.) Probably won’t schedule on the same day again. But the outcomes were fine.  This is a new program Emory Healthcare is launching. For Paige, we arranged to have Jennifer, Melanie, and Stephanie on a conference call for her visit.  It was immensely helpful that Stephanie, who is an OBYN, to ask some vital questions. We are blessed by excellent healthcare. It’s one of our many blessings.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, November 2, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

It has become necessary to add more caregivers’ time with Paige. The Wesley Woods Towers in-house group was good for getting her into bed at night and getting her up on weekend mornings.  During the week, Janet gets her up; taking care of the morning ablutions and attending to her personal care throughout the day. But I am not able do to the necessary care on weekends when Janet is not here. And. There was a six-hour gap between Janet’s sign-out and the bedtime caregiver. Thus, my family worried about the extra strain on me. Professional advice also warns about not allowing a spouse to become fatigued, or worse, disabled. Paige and I both prefer my “hands-on” care (well sometimes, not) but we are aware of the dangers of injury and exhaustion.

Therefore, we have added evening care seven days a week, and added daytime care for weekends. We are fortunate that two of the three caregivers are familiar and have a history with Paige; Janet is starting her third year with us weekdays; Darlene—evening shift— was frequently with us as a fill-in evenings when we lived in Tucker. The third caregiver is new to us.  But last Saturday she was with Paige it seems she will be compatible.

Jennifer, bless her, is wearing several hats these days; full-time teaching, caring for Katie as she recovers from ACL surgery, minding Bailey (our Corgi), checking in on her mother (and me), and arranging for the Estate Sale and eventual house sale. Melanie and Stephanie are lending as much help as they can from Texas. Our Sunday School class is doing a masterful job of keeping in touch with us; they a provide a sign-up sheet for members to visit with Paige while I go to Altar Egos practice. It blesses both Paige and me; the members say it blesses them too!

Another need arose last weekend; Paige had a small wound on her backside; with medical professional guidance, we hurried to attend it with haste and deliberation. I’m reminded of a quote made famous (but not original) by Benjamin Franklin in Poor Richard’s Almanac”:

“For the want of a nail the shoe was lost,
For the want of a shoe the horse was lost,
For the want of a horse the rider was lost,
For the want of a rider the battle was lost,
For the want of a battle the kingdom was lost,
And all for the want of a horseshoe-nail.”

Seemingly insignificant matters can erupt into volcanoes. Therefore we moved rapidly on this matter to rend it torpid. Fortunately, as of today, we seem to have accomplished that. As Paige likes to say, “Prayer and medication” make a difference. We know your prayer lists are large, which makes our appreciation of yours even more precious.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, November 9, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

We can’t say enough adequately to praise our girls, Jennifer, Melanie, and Stephanie.  As Paige and I need more and more focus on our own care, they have pitched in, becoming a mighty unit of care; not only physically to assist, but also lending their own expertise, wisdom, and guidance; Jennifer with mostly “boots-on-the-ground” for local stuff, Melanie on appointments and insurance, and Stephanie, the Medical go-to. The wonder of it all is that they are not serving in silos—but share coverage whenever needed; talented kids they are.

Our primary doctor has become so popular it is immensely difficult to get an appointment with her; a year in advance is the earliest, and office staff typically shares emergencies. Paige had to cancel her September wellness appointment; my wellness checkup is scheduled for December—we have the same primary care doctor—I arranged to switch my time with Paige’s. I’ll see someone else in the practice for my appointment.  I feel strongly that Paige should see our primary care doctor; especially since the onset of Parkinson’s: she has been our primary care physician nearly 18 years. The change was simple to make.

I paraphrase here a quote from Jaeda DeWalt: We become resilient, as we learn to embrace the beautifully broad spectrum of the human experience.

Reading this, I immediately thought of Paige’s journey, mine too; I examine our journey thus far— from our first meeting in college at Georgia Teachers College (now Georgia Southern University)—to now. Her resilience is spectacular. I don‘t have room here to spell it out, nor are you interested in such details. But over the 55 plus years of our marriage, she continues vibrant, positive, and composed. I am deeply grateful God brought us together.

Adjusting to our new life at Wesley Woods Towers is easier than I thought it would be; but then, we’ve only been here five weeks. Being able to focus on daily needs and living, loosens unnoticed barnacles. Earlier, I mentioned barnacles that accumulate; they are quiet, insipid, and clingy. I remember, as a child, watching my dad stop occasionally to clean his plow; soil, too moist, collected, creating drag, costing precious time. Our lightened load frees us for clearer thinking, to focus on essentials, adding quality to our time together.

We are grateful for the blessings that come our way.  So many are suffering near and far; our journey continues to teach us to thank God for family, friends, life-together, and irrepressible hope.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, November 16, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Unfortunately, there is not a November 16, 2018 Update.  Due to my “Mouse issue”  all 530 words of the November 16 Update were deleted.  I’m sorry. I was never able to recover it; l tried to include the central points in the next one. This is the first time in over three years that I’ve missed. 

With love and gratitude,

Willis

Friday, November 23, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

We are nearly two months in residence at Wesley Woods Towers; often we are asked how we like it, or are we settled in? This move is unlike any other we have made. A few of you have made such a transition; from a home of considerable size to a senior living facility.  I am pleased, if not astonished, at our adjustment thus far. Paige is comfortable as much as dealing with Cortico basal Ganglionic Degeneration will allow; I’m enjoying someone else planning and preparing meals, and freedom from pesky homeowner’s maintenance. I enjoyed it all when conditions were different; but needing and wanting to give Paige more attention and assistance precluded that.

We both have put into the past our house, things, and “stuff.” It is only stuff. Compared to Paradise,\; the forest fires in California’s experience, thoughts of unlading our stuff confirm its triviality. So, in fewer than sixty days, we went from our large home of eighteen years (Zach and Katie know of no other “Nana-Papa” home) to a two-bedroom apartment; you can imagine how much “stuff” we didn’t bring. I think our accomplishing that feat with minimal heartache is attitude; we have each other. We were able to choose. Our Faith, family and friends are supportive, keeping in touch and giving myriad means of support and love. It just doesn’t get any better than that.

Jazz musician, Herbie Hancock said, It’s part of life to have obstacles. It’s about overcoming obstacles; That’s the key to happiness.

There is something of a sense of victory, not simply in overcoming obstacles, but in dealing with obstacles without becoming a victim; it is more important to be a victor: the thin line between victim and victor is attitude. Happiness is a choice. Daily.

One day last week Paige needed physically to move; it happened between shifts, so I attempted to move her by myself. Turns out, I connected the Sara-Plus lift too soon, dragging her onto the floor. She was not injured and the Fire Department guys were gentle and caring (Yes.  I did have to call the Fire Department!  ) Gave us something else to laugh about. Later. We didn’t tell the doctor but due to other concerns, he is recommending full-time caregiving. Professional caregiving.

This week Paige’s Neurologist visit this was stark; he said degeneration is making its inroads; Paige had told me as much earlier in the week. But it is more like bare knuckles hearing it from someone else, especially a medical professional.  He told her this is a degenerative disease and asked if she understands that.  She said, “Yes.” He asked how she feels about that.  She said, “I know Whose I am, and when the end comes, I know where I am going.” He was, I think, surprised at her attitude but quite pleased. He did point out strengths she has; among them a positive attitude and a beautiful smile— he loves her smile and says so on every visit.  

As we complete celebrating Thanksgiving of 2018, we want all of you to know we are thankful for you, your love, and for the joy-filled life we share. There are thorns, of course, but as Paige’s mother used to say, “But aren’t the roses worth it!”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, November 30-December 1, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Yes, that’s a two-day span—touching both months:  Friday afternoon, due to an aggregate of issues for Paige we spent fourteen hours in the Emory Emergency Room; a bladder infection was found, plus peripheral issues. The experience started a little after 3:00 p.m. and ended well into the wee hours; we got home and to bed at 5:00 a.m., hence the delay in getting this tome sent to you.  Melanie and Jennifer will work with a caseworker to discover ways to provide round-the-clock care; Paige needs to have her position changed every two hours, the doctor said. This is one more inflection in this journey; more on all this later.

Cortico basal Ganglionic Degeneration causes, among other things, miscommunication between the brain and body extremities. When Paige’s foot, hand, or articulation does not respond to her brain’s message we try first to allow that member to respond.  However, if it doesn’t respond appropriately, we tend to assist her. A recent development is revealing; Paige’s brain tells her to make one statement but she may vocalize something else. This too, means we must try to not speak for her; instead wait for her to make the correction. It is crucial that she maintain as much autonomy as possible, even if right away we don’t get what she attempted to say.  It is more important that she articulate her statement than that we get the point.

I am very proud of Paige. As I’ve mentioned before, the revolving door of caregivers does not significantly change; turnover, traffic, family, and weather issues continue. However. She just rolls with the punches. She is undaunted by it all. I think Paige’s power of acceptance, both of the disease and our move to Wesley Woods Towers is reflected in a statement by Mahatma Gandhi,  “Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation.”

She resists the temptation to give in, and she assimilates the changes imposed upon her. That is power.

Resilience comes to mind as we reflect on this journey.  Author Robert Jordan, in his book The Fires of Heaven, said, “The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived.”

I think Paige and I are learning willow resilience: Paige more so than I. She is so firmly rooted in her Faith, her trust in God, that she does not let the vicissitudes of life uproot her. There is such a quiet confidence in her demeanor you can’t help pausing to say “Amen.”

On this first day of December, we soldier on, aware deeply that not only are we embraced firmly in the arms of God, but also that you, our family and friends, love and care for us. Constantly we learn of your and others’ prayers for us.  God bless us everyone!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 7, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Today Paige transferred across the street to Budd Terrace, a skilled care facility; she will undergo a 30-day evaluation. This is a vital step in coordinated care for her with the intent thoroughly to care for her specific needs. Of great concern are the pressure sores, the continuing inward turn of her right hand, and feet. All of these create considerable discomfort which is partially eased by changing her position every two hours or so.

Paige has a great advantage over most of us: She knows she has a degenerative disease. Actually, we all do, albeit a different kind.  Ours is called “Life.” Paige faces this knowledge with clarity. The rest of us, meaning you and me, don’t.  We live as if we have a blank check on “The First Bank of God.”  It makes a difference to savor each moment, each day, and say, as Paige does, “This is a day the Lord has made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it;” and mean it.

Almost every day there is someone who cheers Paige, and in turn, me; a phone call, note, or E-mail—every one of which she hears or I read to her. Through these, she feels a connection with her former world, the world rich with activity, creativity, and freedom. These days, insofar as possible, she chooses what will populate her world; TV that is positive, conversation that matters, and opportunities that afford a positive milieu.

And. I try to amuse her as well. My jokes don’t always do so, yet they make her laugh in spite of herself. We engage in some silliness, and recall fun and funny times. Paige loves Christmas. Just loves it: everything about Christmas; the music, stories, and movies.  She is blessed by Hallmark having two channels all devoted to Christmas movies for weeks on end. She says it keeps her mind off her condition. I agree.  She misses being able to attend Christmas events at church, especially the music. Paige says Christmas is not complete until she hears Handel’s Halleluiah Chorus. I have that on my iPhone, so playing it over my Bose speaker, though just not the same as live; it does help. And. No December would be complete without my playing the animated Platters rendition of  “White Christmas” from YouTube.

So. I impose it on you. Tee Hee.  We love all of you and your prayers and concern matter greatly to us.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 14, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Well! Maybe you caught it before I did; so here’s my confession.  I wrongly attributed the YouTube video, “Clyde McPhatter’s White Christmas,” to the Platters. Nope. He is with The Drifters. I just couldn’t let that error stand.

Paige’s first few hours at Budd Terrace were not quite a “Dumpster Fire;” more like a bouncing Journey down Alice in Wonderland’s Rabbit Hole.  Admitted on Friday afternoon we teetered on the verge of shift changes, delays in records’ transfers, quickly plunging into protracted nausea, —and GULP: no Hallmark Channel—well, you get the picture.  The Hallmark Channel is no small omission. Hallmark is devoid of cussing, bad news, unsavory scenes, and negativity.  Dealing with this degenerative disease is bad enough for Paige.It is her favorite, and helps keep her spirits up. Her focus is trained on the positive.  We survived.

After exhausting a number of means for streaming Hallmark, we’ve hit the wall.  The only Internet available in Budd Terrace is through Emory University, which does not allow continual streaming. So. For now, we’re using DVDs. This may sound a little mundane, even extraneous to you. But it fills the spaces where her mind would tend to wander toward the ravages of the disease. And, as she said today, “My world has shrunk to this bed and this room.” She cannot hold a book for reading, she cannot manipulate the controls on electronic devices; neither can she use her iPhone. Paige is entirely dependent upon people in the room and/or the TV/DVD.

Our Sunday School class and friends continue to provide someone to visit with her while I’m at Altar Egos practice. It is a tremendous ministry of help. She enjoys their visits, and they bring her up-to-date on the class, the church, and the community. They are worth more than gold.

Therapies are being scheduled as Budd Terrace staff continues this period of evaluation.  There is a Care-Plan meeting with the family next week—Paige is of course included. The assessment will not have been completed by then, but we anticipate getting an overview of where we are and something of what to expect in this part our journey.           

Thank you for your prayers, your many ways of support and encouragement, and most of all, your love for Paige and me.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 21, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

In my first years of ministry I used an official little book, “Ritual of The Methodist Church;” (Circa 1952) Yep it was that long ago. I remember a prayer from that little book 

 Eternal God, who committest to us the swift and solemn trust of life: Since we know not what a day may bring forth, but only that the hour for serving thee is always present, may we wake to the instant claims of thy holy will, not waiting for tomorrow, but yielding today.

That challenge was never more relevant to Paige and Me than now. The rapid-fire ravages of this disease gives laser focus on the value of “today.” Although we always knew the old bromide, Life is uncertain,” we rode through life more casually than we knew better. 

Now it’s time for your homework: how far along are you in off-loading “stuff” you don’t, and likely never will, use? A few weeks ago I assigned you the task of starting to downsize. Now.  Time creeps up on you. I’ll give you another couple of maxims that have almost become clichés; “Life is not a dress rehearsal.” And. “You don’t get a Do-over.”

Although Paige and I didn’t jump onto the downsizing soon enough, we are grateful that 25 years ago we followed substantial guidance; we prepared our wills, (including my sister’s—it “saved my bacon” during a crisis in her life) we continue to update our wills as circumstances change; we retained good insurance from both our employments; we purchased long term care insurance. And we have prepared our “Ethical Wills,” to pass on the values we hold dear to future generations.

As our journey continues at Budd Terrace, Paige is dealing remarkably, not only with changes in personal care people, but also with dramatically different schedules. The staff is doing well at keeping her turned in the bed to avoid pressure sores, and her appetite is good. Jennifer is thrilled with the staff doctor, and the supervising nurse is quite responsive. Most of them are learning to pick up on Paige’s vocal cues, such as, wait for her to correct herself.  She is aware when her mouth doesn’t speak what she intended, she will self-correct. We’re on an interesting journey.

We got good news today; we can bring over to Bud Terrace our Sara-Plus sit-to-stand lift; it is newer, more comfortable, quieter, more stable, easier to use, less complicated—and Paige likes it better—than those in use at Budd Terrace. The only stipulations, and they are good ones; we must train their staff in its use, and we must keep it in our room. That’s good news.  And. Janet prefers it and is excellent with it. She said, “Now I can get her up more often and help her with personal care much better!”

As we head into the Holy days of Christmas, Paige and I wish for each of you the richest blessings of the Holy Child of Bethlehem, the Prince of Peace.  May Joy reign in your hearts and lives; may Peace rest securely in your abode; may Love embrace you entirely; may Hope hover within, above, around, and before you, bringing the true Spirit of Christmas! (Oh, yes! Since Christmas is not complete for Paige until she hears the Hallelujah Chorus sung with zest—I found the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performance on YouTube;

 I’m taking my little Bose Wi-Fi speaker to her bedside and she will hear it in majestic sound! Merry Christmas, one and all!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, December 28, 2018

Dear Family and Friends,

Each night Paige and I share THE UPPER ROOM, its Scripture readings, and readings from Henri Nouwen. It is our “Time with God.” When the Psalmist writes of the enemies that hate us, attack us, and want to destroy us, we understand. Bishop Reuben Job says you and I usually have neither real enemies nor armies trying to destroy us. But enemies are there; they are many. Their names are despair, anger, hopelessness, envy, greed, and hatred, and the like. They are just as real, and destructive as those of the Scriptures. Therefore, Paige and I find it essential that we turn also to Holy writings, testimonies of the Church fathers and mothers, to fill our minds and hearts so we may commune with the Holy Spirit.

These words from the Christmas Carol, “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day” rehearse such testimonies:

 And in despair I bowed my head: /“There is no peace on earth,” I said, “For hate is strong and mocks the song/Of peace on earth, good will to men.” / Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:/“God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;/The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, /With peace on earth, good will to men.”

As we approach the New Year, our prayer is that we take to heart that message. We will tack the sails of our faith each day into God’s holy wind. As I have said often, we’re learning to live in the moment. I read somewhere, “…give us THIS day, our daily bread…” 😉 and we make it our prayer. In We Plan, God Laughs, Rabbi Sherre Hirsch wrote;  “We plan, God laughs, (it) … stems from an old Yiddish proverb. Throughout our lives, we make plans, setting out where we want to go and imagining what it will be like when we have “arrived.” But what happens when life doesn’t happen according to our plans?”

Paige and I are convinced that dwelling unnecessarily on such steals from the “Precious Present.” Therefore our posture tends toward being thankful for that Precious Present.

Turns out that granddaughter Katie got a Wi-Fi speaker for Christmas—so for Paige’s Christmas highlight, Katie was the one who pulled in The Hallelujah Chorus by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir from YouTube! Paige loved it!! We did that at the end of our family Christmas celebration.

The highlight of the week came about when we were given permission to bring our wonderful Sara-Plus sit-to-stand lift to Budd Terrace. We are now able to transfer Paige from position/place to position/place much easier; also much more comfortably for Paige. She is delighted for this; our next move is to train staff in its use. We were tasked with training staff on the condition of our bringing this piece of personal equipment for the staff and Janet to use.

This is the last UPdate for 2018.  As we enter 2019, we are well, we are thankful, we are blessed—-and you count significantly among our blessings.  Thank you. May God bless you. Happy New Year!!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, January 4, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

As we enter the New Year, Paige and I are thankful that at Budd Terrace, she is getting 24/7 skilled nursing care. Although 24/7 care is not quite an accurate description. Those of you who have gone, or are going, through such a journey, know gaps and skips exist—another reason I stay at Paige’s bedside most of the time. (The first reason is that I don’t want to be away from her.)

We celebrated New Year’s Day in traditional fashion, albeit not in customary surroundings; we gathered around her hospital bed enjoying Hopping John with Paige’s recipe of cornbread (Jennifer has virtually cloned it!), pork, and greens, ending in the gloom of the Georgia-Texas football debacle. In the past when Georgia was losing, Paige would want to switch to a movie.  This time she said, “No! I’m staying to the end!” …And did, drinking the bitter dregs of that loss.

But she recovered. Wednesday, January 2, we celebrated Paige’s birthday. Jennifer, Katie, and Zach came with Paige’s favorite dinner from Red Lobster, and Paige’s favorite Publix birthday cake. They also brought a small Chantilly cake. We celebrated with no mention of the UGA loss— or calories consumed.

In many transitions of Paige’s and mine we have encountered things we could not change. We know the truth in poet Mya Angelou’s statement: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

Among the transitions; the aging process, changes in daily routines and locations, difficulties in maintaining friendship patterns— you as well could readily add to the list. Last year I mentioned the dramatic change in my mother’s comfort near the end of her life; a woman of strong faith, she could not settle into the lifestyle where age and health had brought her. Until. In a flash she saw how to, and did, change her attitude. Once again life became wonderful—for her and those around her!

There is no question of the love Paige and I have for each other; maybe I’ve even taken it for granted. Recently I ran across a quote from the 6^th century B.C Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu; it illuminates the passion I have for staying at Paige’s bedside to care for her; He said, “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

For Paige and me it is a double helix, the love of God and our love for each other.

Would that we could answer personally each greeting of every sort Paige has received—especially over the past few weeks;  cards, calls, comments, visits, Facebook comments (On Jennifer’s page—she read all of them to Paige) and E-mails. Each one brings a smile to her face, warmth to her heart, joy in being remembered, and the assurance that she is loved. Paige and I love you all! Happy New Year!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

             

Friday, January 11, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Sorry ‘bout the lateness of this UPdate.  Janet’s daughter is in the hospital with the Flu, so today was kicked into an unexpected swirl. Thank you for your understanding.

Every day we see or learn of someone who has or has had a long-term caregiving role (5-20 years or more). Some carry it alone, others with family taking turns, (sometimes inconsistently), often with little or no insurance assistance. In many cases the physical burden itself is quite heavy. This doesn’t even come close to that of dealing with Alzheimer’s and the diverse dimensions of dementia—among, if not the most heartbreaking. Caregiving at any level is heavy.

A friend of ours signs off E-mails with these words, “In the Grip of Grace.” How fitting for Paige’s and my attitudes; I recall how in my pilot training days we often used the term “attitude” for the position of the aircraft in reference to the forces against it. It is the “Grip of Grace” that holds us steady as we face the forces we encounter. Paige and I experience that “Grip of Grace” daily, which brings me to an apology; if in any of these UPdates on Paige, I have sounded self-pitying, please forgive; it is not my intent. The deeper we drill into this journey, we discover we have tons more reason for gratitude than grousing.

A daily challenge Paige faces is communication; she is lucid, and carries on conversations. Yet there are occasional episodes of Aphasia. Occupational Therapy offers helpful hints; however, the busy (and somewhat overloaded) staff at Budd Terrace often does not have time to notice for, or if, Paige self-corrects. We’re working on it but it is a bumpy road. Yet, on this Journey we’re learning valuable life lessons.

I like what Suzy Kassem calls “The Four Heavenly Fountains:”  Laugh, I tell you And you will turn back The hands of time/. Smile, I tell you /And you will reflect /The face of the divine. /Sing, I tell you /And all the angels will sing with you! /Cry, I tell you And the reflections found in your pool of tears -/Will remind you of the lessons of today and yesterday /To guide you through the fears of tomorrow.”

We kinda take a more whimsical tack on this matter; “Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and your mascara runs.” Or, “He who laughs last just now got the joke.” Or maybe you like this smile teaser—“Laughter is the best medicine, but a beer is intoxicating.” Truly, Paige and I daily have something to laugh about; if not we create it, even if it is weird or silly. Jim Rohn said, “Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” Same goes for laughter.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, January 18, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

If you have ever spent an extended period of time in a medical facility, you know the difficulty of keeping up with what day it is. Paige has a day-by-day tear-off calendar; it helps keep up. But there is another side to that coin; each time we tear off a date/page is a graphic reminder of the importance of claiming that day. Rehearsing regrets or fawning over the future only steals nectar from the now.

Henry David Thoreau, gave in Walden an interesting perspective on living in the present;“In any weather, at any hour of the day or night, I have been anxious to improve the nick of time, and notch it on my stick too; to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and future, which is precisely the present moment; to toe that line.” 

Thoreau underscores another dimension to Living in the Moment; the human brain is complex (my understatement of the year—so far).  It is also dynamic. Our Journey is teaching us to be bifocal; to hold precious each day we have, and to cultivate mental dynamism: including memory, situation awareness, and new learning. In that vein, although Paige cannot get up and out among people, her testimony is strong from her hospital bed at Budd Terrace; often attendants— CNAs RNs, aids etc., are impressed by her spirit and attitude. Also many, upon learning we have been married over 55 years, ask her “How do you make it last like this?  She usually says, “You laugh a lot,—you take it one day at a time.”  Often people speak of their admiration of her faith and spirit. Her witness is strong and spreads like the “aroma of Christ” mentioned in II Corinthians 2:15.

And. Friends in E-mail, cards, or speaking to her— about her faith and courage catch that Aroma.
In our first pastorate, there was Stella; a woman of strong faith, loved, and a strong witness in the church and community. Her body was twisted, her hands knotted from RA, and she was not able to attend church. A weekly prayer group met at her bedside, possibly the most effective ministry of that church. I often wondered how this was possible.  It now makes sense to me; I suffered from a case of “functional fixedness,” or what political theorist, Hannah Arendt calls Frozen Thoughts, deeply held ideas one no longer question but should. In other arenas of the church, I understood effective leadership. But now unfolding before me is a brand new perspective. It makes sense to me. We can be in ministry, whether we feel equipped or not.

On another matter; Paige got a shampoo, haircut, and style last weekend. Only the females among you will understand what this means to her. And as you remember, she cared about her personal appearance; ever the classy lady.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, January 25, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige got a new brace for her right hand this week.  It’s larger, more comfortable, and washable.  It is designed to help control the inward contraction of the hand; although she cannot use that hand, the brace is needed to limit its contacting into her wrist. For her feet, she has large plush, fleecy boots to assist when the Sara Plus lift is used to transfer her.  The boots also help ease the contractions in her feet while she is in the Lazy Boy lift chair; the left foot is now also turning inward. Paige does not complain, nor get grumpy—though she has a lot going on that could justify such an attitude.

  Each Friday the communications person in our Sunday School Class -“The  Joyful Class” forwards the UPdate —with our permission— to the entire class mailing list; it goes to over twenty-five households alone. It is always attached to the class prayer list. And. At Sunday School, we begin each session with prayer requests. The two lists remind me of the great needs among us; I’m tempted to say, “Leave us off the lists: God has greater needs to attend to.” That is wrong-headed thinking—all too human, and wrong.  There’s a little book on my desk by J. B. Phillips; YOUR GOD IS TOO SMALL. Nuff said.

Paige and I are blessed with two wonderful daughters; Melanie and Jennifer have picked up the baton and are masterfully leading us through the move-out, downsizing, Medicare maze, Insurance daze, and emotional rending in this Journey. Melanie came this week, giving some precious days in the midst of having to re-size her staff; Jennifer is hanging in there in the midst of a heavy teaching workload, boots-on-the-ground helping prepare to sell our house, Zach’s having left the nest and Katie’s leaving soon—both pursuing excellent educational routes. Both daughters are forging

 forth managing the mélange of emotional, physical, and vocational ballast. We couldn’t be prouder or more grateful.

Henri Nouwen’s comments seem to reinforce the choices our family is making in navigating this Journey. He said: We have very little control over what happens in our lives, but we have a lot of control over how we integrate and remember what happens. It is precisely these spiritual choices that determine whether we live our lives with dignity.

Jimmy Carter once said Americans are wealthy—not because of $$$$$ but because we have choices. Paige and I are grateful because we can choose how we respond to this Journey. Thank you for your prayers and support; they are vital to us.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, February 1, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Sunday past, Paige was honored in absentia (I was asked to stand in her place) with other UMW leaders, celebration of the 150^th anniversary of the United Methodist Women’s organization. Local leaders, past and present were named. I was presented the notice of a gift to missions given in her name— and told to “present it to Paige.” I did.

Paige and do not spend time talking about what we have given up and are giving up because of this Journey. It would waste precious time we have together. And as Jesus said, “Who among you by worrying can add a single moment to your life?” (Matthew 6:^{27 (CEB)}) Inspirational author Shannon L. Alder said, “Happiness depends less on what happens to us and more on how we view the past positively, enjoy the moment, and create the future.”

In that vein, Grandmother Veal used to say, “You can’t keep birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest there;” in short, only you can control your attitude.

Paige’s and my attitudes keep us on the high road. Our love for each other and for God entwines our very being. One of my favorite country singers is the late Patsy Cline; a verse from her version of Irving Berlin’s Always captures this essence:

And as long as the tides of the ocean flow

As long as the trees and the flowers grow

So long, oh my love, will I love you so

Today, tomorrow and forever

That love is the carriage that bears us through this Journey; as of this week we have another bump in the road; economic realities have brought us to a heart-rending decision; We will have Janet only every other Monday from now on. Melanie has researched our insurance, resources, and has arrived at that conclusion.  We are delighted that we are not losing Janet entirely. She is much more than a Certified Nursing Assistant to Paige.

Some changes are easier than others. Paige and I know that adaptability is key to survival; our Anchor is our Faith and our boat is our love for each other and the happiness we create. Author Charles Morgan wrote: The art of living does not consist in preserving and clinging to a particular mood of happiness, but in allowing happiness to change its form without being disappointed by the change, for happiness, like a child, must be allowed to grow up.

 On this Journey there is plenty of time for happiness to grow up.   

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

Friday, February 8, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

We have encountered another bump in this Journey; Paige can no longer bear to use the Sara-Plus ™ sit-to-stand lift; her feet have curled inward to the extent that standing— even with the lift bearing her weight, mostly —is too painful.  Sara-Plus ™ served us wonderfully until now. We now must use a Hoyer style lift; it lifts her in a sling rather than using some of her own strength. When using a Hoyer lift during Rehab, Paige said, “I feel like I’m strung up like a Turkey!”

My cousin, Wayland Veal’s grandfather Young used to say, “You can get used to anything but a rock in your shoe.” I’ve had a rock in my shoe. I know the feeling. Usually I could get it out; but the experience led me to believe Mr. Young was pretty much right. The rock-in-the-shoe is a metaphor for life; each day presents a challenge calling for adjustment; though not quite Sisyphean; in Greek mythology Sisyphus was the king of what became known as Corinth. He was punished to eternity for his deceitfulness and self-aggrandizing craftiness; he was forced continually to roll an immense boulder up a hill. It always rolled back down.

Paige and I do not have rocks in our shoes, nor are we futilely rolling boulders up hills; but all of us have something of a boulder to roll up some hill. The difference between Sisyphus and any of us is attitude. Or putting it lightly; two different people face the same new day; one says “Good Morning Lord!” The other says “Good Lord!! It’s morning!” Norman Vincent Peale once asked: “What do you see as you Journey through life: Puddles, or Sunsets?”  It is a telling question.

One’s greatness “…cannot be seen in the hours of comfort and convenience, but rather in moments of conflict/adversity” (Martin Luther King, Jr.).

 In our Journey I see more fully the greatness of Paige. She is, in the vernacular of the United Methodist Women, “A Quiet Disciple.” She doesn’t want to stand in the pulpit, or on a dais to proclaim her faith.  But, given the opportunity in a classroom of children, her Faith-driven-commission brought out a passion for First-Things-First as in Matt. 6:33 (GNT)–Instead, be concerned above everything else with the Kingdom of God and with what he requires of you, and he will provide you with all these other things.

As we continue this Journey, we pray that God will continue to give us the strength we need. In dark times, it is good to remember what anchoress, Julian of Norwich wrote centuries ago; “All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.” 

There is a thin line between looking down and looking up. Paige and I choose to look up.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on my prayer list, I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, February 15, 2019

Dear Family and Friends, 

Paige and I can’t imagine what we would do without family and friends! Next to God, you are our key support. We like what Thomas Aquinas said: “Friendship is the source of the greatest pleasures, and without friends even the most agreeable pursuits become tedious.”

 Paige and I often say we don’t know what people do who have no Faith, Family, or Friends. Grace, these three are!

Another link in Paige’s and my connection to Grace is humor: “Humor is like gratitude in that it nurtures optimism. (Author, Dan Baker) 

I don’t speak or read French, but a French term seems to illuminate an aspiration of ours; —joie de vivre.  It means  “keen or buoyant enjoyment of life.” The Apostle Paul said, “I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have more than enough. I have learned this secret, so that anywhere, at any time, I am content, whether I am full or hungry, whether I have too much or too little.” (Philippians 4:12)

Paige and I figure if Paul could learn to be content despite those circumstances, we certainly can learn to maintain a helpful, hopeful, and humorous attitude.

On another matter; borrowing the old cliché —“You could write a book about what they don’t tell you…” We could. The most recent obscurity was an insurance nuance I stumbled onto; a component of our health insurance—for a reasonable fee—offers a helpful option—“Nursing Home Insurance.” We didn’t know to explore additional options from our Medicare supplementary insurance.  What a blessing to find this! 

As we mentioned a few weeks ago, downsizing like taxes, is inevitable—soon or late; but it still slipped up on us. Lesson learned; do not to put off important matters. Now don’t go sending your suits to the cleaners and get a haircut: Paige and I pretty much completed planning our memorial services. We know we will face that Final Day on this earth; with clear minds, grateful hearts and some humor (No we’re not planning a joke fest—we do, however, plan to play piano duets once we both arrive— Over There) we talked about our preferences. Ours was not a moribund discussion; we simply faced the facts of life. And death. Early on this Journey Paige said, “I’m not afraid of death. I know where I’m going.” And. She does. We recall words from the old Gospel hymn; “Lead me through the vale of shadows, /Bear me o’er life’s fitful sea;/Then the gate of life eternal/May I enter, Lord, with Thee.”

We had a good St. Valentine’s Day; Roses, chocolate, cards, —and soup I spilled on her (still had a great day). I said to Paige, “Happy Valentine’s Day!! I love you! I love you more than chocolate!” She said, “I love you too! I’m not so sure I love you more than chocolate!” See.  I’ve got to work on my “wooing skills!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on the Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, February 22, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I have a new “comfort;” Ever since we moved on October 3, Bailey, our ten-year-old Pembroke Welsh Corgi, stayed with Jennifer and her Corgi, Dixie, (Bailey’s litter mate). Whenever I would see Bailey, she seemed sad, even grieving. Then I realized—for ten years Bailey lived in our house, people with her 24/7. At Jennifer’s house, it was just Bailey and Dixie all day while Jennifer was teaching; it was not Bailey’s house, not her routines, and of course not her full-time humans.  We determined that being away from Paige and me, Bailey really was grieving.

Now, having routines in place for Paige at Budd Terrace, or a reasonable facsimile thereof, we felt it was time. She now has her humans with her; she “smiles” a lot and seems happy. Paige even noticed Bailey lying near her parked wheelchair—to be near something of Paige’s. I bought a large comfortable bed for Bailey and placed it by Paige’s bed. When Bailey lies on it, she lies on the end next to Paige’s bed. Though not trained as such, she is the quintessential “Therapy Dog.” Now Bailey stays all day with Paige and me at Budd Terrace. I take her to Wesley Woods Towers with me at bedtime. We also take relief walks around the campus.

There is something about human nature as interesting as it is puzzling; in good times we simply glide glibly along. But when hard times come, suddenly or over time, we sit up and take notice.  It’s like the difference between a tourist and a soldier; a tourist in a city breezes past sights hearing little of the docent says. But a soldier in that same city; hears the Sargent saying there are snipers; he is on full alert; scanning every nook and cranny. The same scene, but every detail is ingrained into the soldier’s memory. For us, it is not possible to be on high alert every moment of life; it is entirely possible for us to awaken to who we are and Whose we are; to drink in deeply the milieu of each day.

Friends from our College and Seminary days called this week and we spent a good hour spinning tales, reminiscing, and just plain having fun. I put the call on speakerphone, making it a conference call so Paige was able to enter into the conversation; they didn’t rush to finish her sentences, giving her time to express, even correct, her thoughts. It was a blessing to Paige. Such conversations cheer Paige, and she manages her frustration—a real trouper. This kind of visit enlivens Paige.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, March 1, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

One of Paige’s CNAs was to be off a few days.  Paige said, “We’ll miss you! “She looked surprised and said, “You will?  I will miss you. Y’all are so easy to deal with; you don’t complain nor make it difficult.” It’s another affirmation of Paige’s great spirit and attitude. One night as another Certified Nursing Assistant was taking Paige’s blood pressure, Paige asked, “How are things going for you?”  Turns out, her mother died a few weeks ago in front of her. Now, as Executor for her mother’s estate she is dealing with all such that involves plus normal grief. Paige’s compassion touched her in a profound way.

A Physical Therapist came to plan with Paige; as she was leaving Paige asked, “Has your grandbaby come yet?” The PT stopped in her tracks, turned and in a glowing face said, “You remembered! I can’t believe you remembered I was going to have a grandbaby!” She came to Paige’s bed as if to hug her, and said, “There is nothing wrong with your memory!” and asked if Paige wanted to see pictures; they spent about twenty minutes ooing and ahhhing over baby pictures.

Tuesday was a “Spring Day,” or we treated it as such. Janet hoisted Paige into her wheelchair and we all—including Bailey—went for a walk on campus. We paused at an overlook at a bend in South Fork Peachtree Creek. Bailey spied two beautiful Canadian geese drifting along with the flow. She wanted to rush out and remove them, but her leash was too short. Flowers and young green shoots emerging in the flowerbeds thrilled Paige. I’ve included below, two pictures from that outing.

Later that day, we were blessed by a surprise visit from Simone Ferguson. She became very close to Paige and me when she served occasionally as an evening Caregiver. She is a great person, but part of our attachment is that she received her Master of Divinity from Candler School of Theology here at Emory—where both Paige and I received ours. She is seeking an appointment in her home denomination, AME Zion denomination. Back in the day, Simone learned that we close our day reading THE UPPER ROOM and from Henri Nouwen, or another theologian. She asked if she could stay and join us. We were delighted, and whenever she filled in a shift for us, it became a custom we all enjoyed. Paige really loves Simone and was thrilled she took the time from her full schedule at her church.

The next day two of the Physical Therapists came to visit Bailey; yes, Bailey! That pleases Paige, too; the PT staff always makes over Bailey and by doing so, Paige gets attention. There is a variety of kinetic encounters that enliven Paige’s experience in Budd Terrace. Thank you for your part in these.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, March 8, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

We are pleased with new developments in our United Healthcare Nursing Home insurance. This week our new Physicians Assistant, who seems immensely qualified, spent time with Paige.  He gave her physical and cognitive exams and, actually listened. He will be in the building regularly, and check on Paige each week. He has followed up on other medical services, some of which she has missed. He thinks she should re-connect with her Neurologist and will arrange transportation. We are, as you would expect, thankful!

From time to time, someone discovers Paige and I have been married over 55 years, invariably we’re asked, “How do you stay married to the same person that long?” We do not have a specific answer; it usually includes words like “Love,” “Patience,” “Stick-together,” “Forgiveness,” etc. It may have more to do with something like Helen Keller wrote; “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”

 Maybe Robert Quillen said it more succinctly;  “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. Kicking in a little Cimmerian humor, we sometimes say, “In all our 55 years, we never once considered divorce. Murder, — several times!” I like words about the importance of love from St. John of the Cross: “In the twilight of life, God will not judge us on our earthly possessions and human success, but rather on how much we have loved.“  I have mentioned before, Paige’s continual expressions of love; they are especially obvious when she won’t ask for some service she needs, because she realizes the staff is overworked, or short- handed, etc. They appreciate her compassion. She is very patient; I, on the other hand tend more to micro-manage.  If the chart says “Bath at 10:00 a.m. Wednesday” I’m like, “OK.  Let’s get this shower going!” Or meds are due four times a day; it’s “OK.  8, 12, 5, or 10 —- let’s get them done on time!” But Paige might say something like, “The lady across the hall fell.  So they need the staff there right now.” Or “They’re short handed today, two CNAs for this floor called in sick.”  So I listen to Paige and cool it. She’ll have stars in her Crown when she crosses over.  She’ll need to lend me some!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, March 15, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

First a look-back at the first week of Lent; a full week! On Shrove (Fat) Tuesday, I brought IHOP Pancakes and the works our dinner—including Paige’s favorite side—bacon. The next day, Ash Wednesday, Budd Terrace Chaplain,  Susan planned to come to Paige’s room for Imposition of The Ashes for Paige and me. However, she had Strep Throat and had to stay home. Speaking of Lent, you need to know, Paige and I did NOT give up chocolate for Lent; Tom and Jean Stowe gave Paige and me a five pound (that’s 5 pounds) Hershey bar (Picture below). You’re welcome to come by and help us gnaw on it. Instead of denying, ourselves of some treat, we’ve taken on two Prayer Partners for the season of Lent.

Paige is pleased that this week a new round of Physical Therapy started. The PT guy, Peter is great, and spends focused time with Paige. He works on contractures developing in her arms and legs. Peter is careful and attentive working deliberately on her muscles.

Paige and I retain a few personal rituals in this Journey; Sunday nights I pick up Burger King Whoppers (well, Whopper Jr. for her); nightly we share a bowl of Blue Bell Vanilla Ice Cream, drizzled with Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate; and THE UPPER ROOM devotional, followed by a reading from one of Henri Nouwen’ s books. As I leave Paige’s room from my apartment at night, we say to each other, “See you in the Morning;” recalling its double meaning; Catherine Marshall’s final words to Peter just before they transported Peter Marshall out the front door on a stretcher.  Rituals tend to insinuate a sense of normalcy to life.

There is new research indicating that rituals can make us value things more. “Rituals … can reinforce the behaviors we want, create focus and a sense of belonging, and make change stick.  …The power of rituals goes even further – they can increase our perception of value, too.” Heidi Grant, The Harvard Business Review.

“Light The Fire” is this evening; it is a ritual at Embry Hills United Methodist Church,  of lighting the barbecue fire the night before our Annual BBQ. The men cook hamburgers and hot dogs; church members bring sides dishes and deserts. We enjoy an evening of food, Blue Grass music by The Altar Egos, camaraderie, and an exciting kickoff for the BBQ. Paige wants me to participate, even though she can’t. Simone will stay with Paige while I’m with playing guitar with the Altar Egos tonight (Friday) night. Jennifer will stay with Paige while I take a shift Saturday afternoon serving BBQ. It takes a Village.

Turns out I mentioned food often in this UPdate; well, there are 27 verses in the Bible about ‘Table Fellowship.” In biblical days, sharing the table with another person made a social statement about yourself and about your guest.  We United Methodists enjoy making such statements!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, March 22, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I experience daily what Henri Nouwen calls friendship; “Friendship is one of the greatest gifts a human being can receive. It is a bond beyond common goals, common interests, or common histories.”

 When Paige couldn’t drive me to a doctor’s appointment from treatment, for  my driving was prohibited, friends filled in; when I needed someone to stay with Paige while I was not available, friends filled in; rarely have I had to hire someone to stay with her on such occasions. Then, there are the cards, E-mails, visits, and inquiries. When someone inquires, “How is Paige?” I reply, “She’s OK.” Some friends ask for more details, showing how deeply they care. I think Nouwen nailed it, don’t you!?

This journey continues to teach me the mutability of humanity. Early on in this Journey, I groused about hirelings’ inconsistent work patterns—late showing up, no-show, droppers-out, and other schedule crushing behaviors. It still bothers me; Paige accepts this a whole lot better than I. Over the years I’ve dealt with people on a passel of levels; from unloading boxcars by hand, to teamwork, to organizing for thousands, and heading a statewide organization. You’d a’ thunk I would be accustomed to such behaviors.  Well, Paige is helping me focus; She is the calming spirit, the clear-headed guide in our life together. She cannot always make her words match her thoughts or intentions. Yet she is steady, peaceful, and I lean on her a whole lot.

I might be more help to Paige if I followed the advice of Saint Francis de Sales; “Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself.“  

As strange as it may seem, it is easy to forget that such an attitude may be nourished by passages we already know; “This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.”(Psalm 118:24(NKJV).”

—(Paige’s favorite.) Or similarly, “If the Lord does not build the house, the work of the builders is useless; if the Lord does not protect the city, it does no good for the sentries to stand guard. (GNT Psalm 127:1).

 We’re making our Journey’s focus to live in the moment.  As much as we may try to keep the world from dictating our steps, life is not lived in a vacuum; we live in the world; it is virtually impossible to ignore its Sirens’ enticing melodies. Thus daily it becomes a choice; which voice will we heed?  An ancient voice calls out; “…choose you this day whom ye will serve;” (Joshua 24:15 NKJV).

 The choice is as recurring as taking the next breath. We close with this quote from The Book of Worship; “…Lift us above dark moods, and the shadow of sin, that we may find thy will for our lives; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, March 29, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

First, I want to explain, and thank you for bearing with me on the “Test” Email I sent out Sunday. (There is no need to change my E-mail address on your address book; that was an alternate address for me.)  After my computer crash, I had to reconstruct some documents. The test, with the help of Apple, Inc. support, I was able to correct and confirm issues.

Paige and I are awash in appreciation on this Journey, for the many expressions of love and kindness from family and friends. Author Dan Baker wrote, “Appreciation…is the first and most fundamental happiness tool. … Research now shows it is physiologically impossible to be in a state of appreciation and a state of fear at the same time. Thus, appreciation is the antidote to fear.”

 I am confidant that both Paige and I are delivered from fear of this disease, in a large measure, for just that reason; our appreciation runs deep. I am not always able to send thank you notes, or respond appropriately to loving and kind gestures you, our family, and friends shower upon us. But be it noted, we pray for you daily, by name.  We do share with each other all gestures of love we receive. This week they came in abundance!

The late Joe Matthews, founder of The Ecumenical Institute in Chicago and brother of the late Methodist Bishop James Matthews, said, “…say ‘Thank You, for everything.” That’s in dramatic contrast with what the Apostle Paul said, “…be thankful in all circumstances.”

Although it is counterintuitive, being thankful for everything just may be an authentic means of being thankful to God for life. You and I both know life is not a silk gown with nary a wrinkle; it is jagged, lumpy, often uncomfortable, and fun like a barrel of monkeys. Author and businessman, Alan Cohen said, “Appreciation is the highest form of prayer, for it acknowledges the presence of good wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts.”

 Which, I think, smooths out some jagged edges in Joe Matthews’ idea.

Similarly, Psalm 139:1-4 is a profound call to raw prayer; unvarnished, unpretentious, prayer with no holds barred; “Lord, you have examined me and you know me. You know everything I do; from far away you understand all my thoughts. You see me, whether I am working or resting; you know all my actions. Even before I speak, you already know what I will say.”

It’s kinda scary isn’t it!? Yet, Oh so wholesome! Just to think, there’s no one else but you and God in that isolation booth. God not only knows you and me; God cares! Paige and I lean heavily on the knowledge that whatever we think or say those Everlasting Arms hold us and won’t let go. You, too, are so held; even when our prayers for you seem silent, or worse, absent. But we do pray for you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, April 5, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige is getting Physical Therapy on a fairly regular basis now.  We are happy our Nursing Home Insurance provides it. Andrew, the PT guy, explained this week;”… it is more maintenance PT than restorative”. This disease, Cortico basal Ganglionic Degeneration as the name describes, tends to enervate the bones and muscles; which induces the need to maintain as much of their usefulness as possible. Paige and I are aware of this disease’s waning trajectory—over which we have no control. We do, however, have control over how we will face it.

It was about this time last year when we shared a quote from Dylan Thomas; “Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

Instead of rage, Paige and I look steadfastly into the Living Light. Madora Kibbe wrote; “Is there any virtue in being pessimistic? Not really. And yes, half full or half empty, a glass is a glass is a glass. But why not enjoy what’s in the glass instead of bemoaning how little is in there and how bad it probably tastes? …and yes rage raging against the dying of the light may be the way for some to deal with death. But I would prefer to enter, and exit, laughing.” (Psychology Today) 

Notice how the Psalmist looks UP! I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, Who made heaven and earth.”(Psalms 121:1-2).

We are fortunate that Paige’s experiences of aphasia are only episodic; it is primarily her skeletal and muscular functions that imprison her. Therefore, she does lift her eyes to the hills from whence her help comes: From her, I’m learning to do so. Staff members often compliment Paige on her sweet smile, and her beautiful blue eyes.

Paige always thanks them for any service they perform, though it is their job; nevertheless, she is kind to them. They laugh at and with us as we clown around, even when we make dark humor at our circumstances; as in one day we were having difficulty getting Paige’s gown on. Her arm wouldn’t bend enough.  I said, “Well, let’s just break it off at the elbow!” Paige and I erupted in laughter; the Certified Nursing Assistant was taken aback by our weird sense of humor but laughed anyway.

 One day this week Jennifer brought BBQ lunches for us, along with some left-over boxes of stuff from downsizing; for me to go through. On a happier note, springtime is insinuating itself into the landscape here. We had all four seasons last week! But we have faith the foliage will erupt soon in spectacular beauty!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, April 12, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Last week, in THE UPPER ROOM, Pamela Rosales wrote, “We cannot know the pain and sorrow that others are dealing with, but in this broken world almost everyone is hurting in some way.” Paige and I encounter this reality every day. On this campus, it is obvious almost everyone faces visible obstacles, pain, and difficulty; yet, “appearances,” as Yogi Berra said, “only show the obvious.” Who can know what stories lie beneath the surface?

Sometimes someone says to Paige or me, “I don’t see how y’all deal with all this!” We understand such a sentiment; we sometimes feel that way, especially when we encounter someone whose condition seems to be worse—whatever that means— than ours. There is an old story that goes something like this: A man stood before God with his burdens. God said, “You may cast off your burdens here among the burdens of everyone else. But you must choose and take on the burdens of another person.” The man examined all the burdens that lay before him. Finally, he picked up his own burdens and departed.

I like what the Apostle Paul said about burdens and difficulties: “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.” (Romans 5:3-4 TLB)

Seldom does anyone go in search of difficulties, —unless going to the gym— and you know how that turned out! But away down deep inside, we know appropriate striving to attain a worthy goal, is difficult if not painful. What is it athletes often say? “No Pain, No Gain!”

Paige and I know firsthand that two people can face the vicissitudes of life if they face them together; and, we must add, it is a whole lot easier when also surrounded by the love and care of family and friends such as you. We are blessed that you are in our circle.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, April 19, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I were talking recently about our time at Georgia Teachers College (where we met; we were friends, not yet dating). We recalled that we never danced together in “The Old Gym;” at matinee dances held each Wednesday night. That conversation reminded me of Anne Murray’s hit song, “Could I have this dance.” It always resonates with me as an apt description of our love for each other; if you’ve forgotten the words, I supply them here:

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life, Could you be my partner every night, when we’re together it feels so right, Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

It never occurs to us that it could be otherwise. No, we’re not dancing. Never will. But our hearts dance. Each day as I sit by her bedside, or stand assisting her eating, or we chuckle—even belly laugh—at something funny on TV, it is a dance. When you can’t hold someone in your arms, you hold them closer in your heart. It is a dance.

Paige and I know that we are not the only ones dealing with a degenerative or catastrophic disease; yet we have gone public, in a manner of speaking, for at least two reasons;

1) it is therapeutic to put into words our Journey, and

2) it helps others; often people tell us our Up-dates help them.

Some have even suggested it is a ministry to many. It very well could be; such as the ministry Bernard of Clairvaux describes in the following:  O Jesus, ever with us stay. Make all our moments calm and bright. Chase the dark night of sin away. Shed o’er the world thy holy light.” Glimmers of hope given, little or large, tend to make life a little sweeter. That is our hope.

I remember one night in the Wayne County (GA) Hospital, Paige was praying; “God, please give us one vein. She must have this treatment to survive! She must have a vein to have this treatment!” Melanie, age 16, was undergoing extremely powerful triple-drug chemotherapy treatments to combat Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer. Her tiny veins resisted. Barbara, from NICU, came with a needle for infants. She got the vein.  Chemo prevailed! As you know, Melanie is now middle-aged and a published writer. Nothing is too small to merit a prayer.

The shadows lengthen on our Journey, almost imperceptibly; Paige and I are steadfast in our commitment to living in the moment. Recalling past experiences can accentuate the importance of living in the moment; however, it is never productive to steal from the present by anguishing over the past or anticipating the future; remember Paige’s favorite Scripture passage? “This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.”(Psalm 118:24(NKJV).”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

April 26, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I have something of a family heirloom, a Herschede, weight-driven tubular chime, grandfather clock. For decades it has reminded us that we’re home as it chimes the quarter hour and strikes the hour; it also keeps superb time. Over the years, time has taken on new nuances of meaning for us; each move, new parish, catastrophic illnesses, graduations, etc. inscribes its association and meaning into our hearts.

Historically, measuring time has captured the focus, fascination, and infatuation of humanity; Early on tracking time commanded humanity’s attention; such as, large obelisks to track the movement of the sun; time sticks, tiered candles, water-clocks, hourglass-sand, all—were used before mechanical clocks came to be.

Humanity seems to be obsessed with ways to save, stop, secure and/or sell, time: time as a commodity drives commerce so that it is divided into the most minute increments possible. You’re thinking nanoseconds.  No. That’s yesterday’s news. How about attoseconds!? The smallest unit of time that was directly measured as of 2006 is attoseconds.

But I digress; it was Saturday night, and time to wind the Herschede; it put me to thinking “time”. Along this Journey, Paige and I often speak of “Living in the Moment.” Even so, we must track time; medication schedules, appointments, special occasions and seasons, of family and friends; both for the calendar year and the Christian Calendar. Clocks, calendars, and collections of sticky notes are part of life. Paige has one of those “Today Is…” calendars—ubiquitous in business offices—with the date in 4×4 inch bold-print numbers to tear off each day. Sometimes as I tear off a page, I feel as if I’m seeing an old fashioned movie where the passing of time was an animation of dates rapidly flying off the calendar.

Jesus distilled the focus of our time; “So do not worry about tomorrow; it will have enough worries of its own. There is no need to add to the troubles each day brings.”

The other day as Paige and I were selecting from her-not-so-different-menu for the next day, Paige said, “I haven’t had pizza in a long time!”  We broke rank and marked through the Budd Terrace evening menu, deciding to order contraband (pizza) for the evening meal; turns out there is a Dominos right here in Emory village—they deliver (of course!). Nuff said. Oh.  We weren’t arrested! And. Paige enjoyed the pizza immensely.

And. Speaking of time, thank you for the time you spend with Paige and me reading these tomes.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

My deepest apology: Somehow the BCC address list this week omitted several of you; since I cannot tell who was omitted, I’m sending under a revised list. I hope this fixes that glitch.

May 3, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Lately Paige asks for her Prayer Quilt instead of other coverings; yes, this late in spring. For those of you receiving the Friday UP-dates later in our Journey, here is the story; When Paige went to Rehab, after her Parkinson’s disease diagnosis—(Cortico basal Ganglionic Degeneration), our church, Embry Hills United Methodist Church, gave her a Prayer Quilt.

The Prayer Quilt Ministry of the Church, “Sewing-with-Faith,” creates the quilts. Faith Carr (a bit of humor in this double entendre) leads this group with aplomb. The group meets at EHUMC on a regular basis. Quilts are made from donations of fabric, money, and time. When someone has a crisis, or is in great need of prayer and spiritual support a Prayer Quilt is made for them.   At the next Worship service, the quilt is placed on the chancel rail. At the end of the service the person’s name is announced and the reason for the quilt; the congregation goes down to tie knots in the Prayer Quilt as reminders of prayers offered. Throughout the Prayer Quilt, double cords dangle with knots tied at random. Each Prayer Quilt has an embroidered nameplate and describes the Prayer Quilt Ministry.

At night after Paige is put in bed, I tuck her in with the Prayer Quilt. During the morning, when she is lifted from the bed to her recliner-lift chair, I lay the Prayer Quilt over her. If I forget, she reminds me. We often talk about the wonderful support we receive from family and friends. The knotted strings on the Prayer Quilt are tactile reminders of those prayers offered and promised those years ago at the altar of our church.

Paige is so looking forward to Katie’s graduation recognition at Oak Grove United Methodist Church, May 19.  She keeps asking about the date. I have arranged a transport for her.  Jennifer has located an ideal spot for Paige’s wheelchair for maximum visibility. It is the only event of Katie’s graduation Paige can attend, due to logistical difficulties.  But Paige will get to see Katie in her Cap and Gown, in full regalia. We are immensely proud of Katie, who will attend the University of Georgia nestled in full scholarship.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

May 10, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,Occurring frequently in these UP-dates is the word “Journey.” We think it important to tell why we chose the word Journey; the word is descriptive.  Merriam Webster gives the following distinctions; “JOURNEY, TRIP, and TOUR mean travel from one place to another… TRIP can be used when the traveling is brief, swift, or ordinary. TOUR is used for a journey with several stops that ends at the place where it began.” JOURNEY usually means traveling a long distance and often-in dangerous or difficult circumstances.” Therefore “Journey” is a clear, and looking back, a precise description of our navigation over the past few years.

A dear friend who also travels a difficult journey recently told me, “It’s really hard to share the deep-down hard stuff…” And. She’s right: not only is it too personal, but also it could suggest self-pity; or worse, as another friend said,  “…(one) should be arrested for indecent mental exposure.” The purpose of these UP-dates originally was a simple way to apprise family and close friends of what is going on with Paige; the incursion of this disease crashed in, ushered by a parade of puzzling portents.  As it happens, the UP-dates are emerging as a project with several foci; some readers have found them to be devotional material, illumination for their similar situation, spirit lifters, navigation aids for similar journeys, and from one friend, morsels for sermon material.

You should know also, (or may have wondered) who’s on this E-mail list? Actually, I only know the ones I put on my blind copy (bcc); I know my first list was a dozen or so family and friends; Later, I added those who asked to receive the UP-dates. However I am discovering that some of you forward yours to members of your Sunday school class, friends, or relatives (That, too, is OK). I know this because when people comment to me about something I wrote; I have no idea how they got a copy.  These comments help Paige’s recall. I read each comment to Paige (so far none needed censoring!)  It encourages Paige and helps her feel connected to family and friends. And. If, as it seems, it helps someone find help in coping in their circumstances, all the more reason to write these tomes.

Paige and I do not know when, where, nor how this Journey will end; come to think about it, none of us knows that about our own life. Here in our milieu, we find many who are also suffering “…the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…”  (Apologies to Hamlet’s soliloquy, Act III, Scene 1.)

Our purpose in these UP-dates is to share information in a down-homey way sharing insight, interpretation, inner feelings, and observations. We welcome the reciprocity we often receive from you. Thank you. We cherish these bonds.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

May 17, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige got a new bed and a foam pad (about 3” thick.) Rails on her old bed kept falling off, among other things making it difficult as well as unsafe to move her around on the bed.. The request went through quite quickly; she’s happy with the change.

Paige had a tiring but wonderful Mother’s Day. I ordered her (and my) favorite Panera Bread meal delivered to her room; Jennifer and Katie joined for the food fest. Zach couldn’t be with us—he’s going through orientation with the other Adventure Camp staff at Camp Glisson. He’s excited about that; he says the difference between this adventure camp training and the (Scouting) Philmont and Northern Tier, he gets paid instead of paying!  So Paige happily excused him. Katie and Jennifer brought an arrangement of beautiful red roses—Paige’s favorite flower.

Recently CNAs were running late getting Paige into bed. I finished our normal bedtime routines; typically I begin with a dish of vanilla ice cream drizzled with Hershey’s Special Dark Chocolate. This time, due to the lateness of the hour, I skipped the Ice-cream step. As I was getting out her toothbrush, she said, “Aren’t you forgetting the ice cream?” “Busted,” I said. “55 years of marriage, and I should know I can’t slip anything by you” Which brought on another laugh-fest. She got the Ice cream.

Paige has been teasing me all week about the way I feed her. Some foods — those she can manage between her thumb and forefinger of her left hand— she feeds herself.  If they are messy, liquid, or tend to fall  apart, she prefers I feed to her.

Paige: “You’re feeding me too fast!”

Willis” “Yes. But I don’t want to break my rhythm!”

And we both got a big laugh. Another time:

Paige:  “I want to take a break.”

Willis:  “But I’ll lose my place!”

When we have these exchanges, we both have that impish look, and have a good laugh.  Sometimes so much so, we do have to wait to settle down before going on with the meal.  The laughter must be helpful; she has gained some weight so that we’ve cut back on Hawaiian Rolls and cut in half our bedtime Ice cream. Well, you can’t have everything!    

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

May 24, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

One thing to know about Paige D. Moore; do NOT tell her it cannot be done. I learned it years ago when she said, “We need a stone wall around your parking space.”  Said I, “ It cannot be done. There is no budget to pay someone to build it, only enough for supplies; and I don’t know how.” She and I built the stone wall that summer—and it was just what she wanted.

Fast forward to May 2019; She was told there was no way she could go to the Katie’s graduation celebration at Oak Grove UMC with the couple of dozen other graduates—: Paige had planned for months to go; weekend staff at Budd Terrace is shorthanded, breakfast, bath, and dressing takes too long; and she would have to spend too many hours in the wheelchair, as well as riding the medical transport. Facts: all saying it cannot be done.

Result: she did it! For early breakfast, I went to McDonalds’ takeout for both of us. We arranged for Budd Terrace CNAs to do her morning ablutions and dress her first thing Sunday morning. (Can you believe I did her makeup? And hair?! Merle Norman now wants me! 😉 (You men won’t get that.) I set a 9:30 a.m. appointment for the medical transport to insure we got onboard allowing for Atlanta traffic: allowing time to unload and get into the church ahead of the rush. Seeing Nana there was a happy shock to Katie, as well as Jennifer (they, too, had believed the “facts.”)  We all sat together—Zach, too, as he broke away from Adventure camp staff training just for this event— enjoying immensely the celebration. There had the typical high school graduates in the procession, including Pomp and Circumstance.

After the photo op, and the group dispersed, Katie came over to Paige and explained all the honor cords and insignia on her robe. Both Katie and Zach hugged “Nana” abundantly—upon arriving and departing. Their pastor came over to welcome Paige. The weather was sensational, and our transport driver (our favorite one) was exceedingly careful about curves and potholes. (They can be especially brutal for someone in a wheelchair.)  It was a fantastic success. Paige was exhausted! But ecstatic!  We have re-lived that day time and again since. I don’t know when I’ve seen Paige happier. Although spurned by some as inelegant, the following lines from an Edgar Guest poem fit the day: Somebody said that it couldn’t be done, But, he with a chuckle replied That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried. So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin On his face. If he worried he hid it. He started to sing as he tackled the thing That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

May 31, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Well. I didn’t say it very well last week; Katie’s event was recognition of graduates at her church—Oak Grove UMC–for all 18 of their high school graduates in full regalia;  (It was more impressive than my own high school gradation!). sorry for the confusion. Paige knew she was up only for the one at church; still it was huge for her; it was the one she had anticipated for months.

The Official school graduation was this week; the DeKalb County-wide-ceremony held at the Georgia World Congress Center in downtown Atlanta: Melanie and Stephanie came from Texas for Katie; they stayed with Paige in her Budd Terrace room to stream the ceremony live. Paige was able to see Katie on screen introducing the speakers (in front of all 450 of her classmates and thousands of family & friends!)

On another matter; one of the things I admire about Paige is how she faces this Journey, with all its foreboding prospects; Paige looked this thing square in the eye, with this attitude; “You don’t scare me!” It is the confidence and inner strength, I believe, spoken of by St. John of the Cross:

 “In sorrow and suffering, go straight to God with confidence, and you will be strengthened, enlightened and instructed.”

We read recently a statement in The Upper Room by Apostle Paul on suffering;  Since we are his children, we will possess the blessings he keeps for his people, and we will also possess with Christ what God has kept for him; for if we share Christ’s suffering, we will also share his glory. (Romans 8:17)

 As you would correctly guess, Paige does not foul her spirit by messing and gauming over what has happened to her. She keeps her eyes on the Prize of which Paul spoke.

Charles Wesley puts it poetically; Breathe, O breathe thy loving Spirit into every troubled breast! Let us all in thee inherit; let us find that second rest. Take away our bent to sinning; Alpha and Omega be; end of faith, as its beginning, set our hearts at liberty.

Paige has that assurance her heart to be set at liberty. She’s the first to confess that she is not perfect, but when the chips are down, her heart is in the right place—with that deep Wesleyan assurance.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

June 7, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

As you might imagine, Paige still revels in remembering last week; Katie’s graduation, and Katie’s introducing the platform guests. Paige happily recalls Melanie and Stephanie’s presence and assistance, and our family meals there in Paige’s room. She is a little more relaxed about her care at Budd Terrace; Stephanie, is a doctor, and so she and Melanie had medical conversations with the doctor in charge here and with the Physicians’ Assistant. It helped us all to gain insight into what is happening and what we may expect. Melanie was a bit surprised to see how much rigid contraction has occurred in Paige since she saw her last.

Paige and I find the simplest things for humor and laughter; for example, almost every night as she finishes brushing her teeth, there is a lull as she tries to expectorate into the basin; it is almost as if her mouth muscles won’t cooperate. When that happens, she looks at me with a twinkle in her eye watching to see my reaction; usually I grin, or chuckle, and we usually break up laughing.  I have to be careful so that she doesn’t get so tickled that she chokes. We almost always joke about it; there is an old family joke about Melanie and a piece of chicken that we almost always recall, and I say, “OK, Melanie! Come on and get this done! Spit it out!” (More laughter.)

Our prayer reminder is from the George Croly hymn, “Spirit of God, Descend upon My Heart;”

Teach me to feel that thou art always nigh;
teach me the struggles of the soul to bear,
to check the rising doubt, the rebel sigh;
teach me the patience of unanswered prayer.

On this Journey, Paige and I are learning (again) that there are no givens, no certainties; no absolutes. Of course we “know …(God is) always nigh…” but that is knowledge. Croly says, “…teach me to feel…” which goes deeper into the core of our being. How can we not feel that God is always near, given the love we feel from you, our family and friends?

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

June 14, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige rejoiced with me this week upon the arrival of my new Chevrolet Silverado 2500 truck, “Big Blue.” After four weeks of aggravating fits and starts it finally arrived; Paige wanted to see it. A Certified Nursing Assistant prepared Paige and put in her wheelchair. I rolled her down to the parking lot where she (mostly) admired Big Blue. She admired it; in a manner of speaking—females don’t quite get what a truck is to a guy—(there are certain accouterments therewith). She loves the color: Blue is her favorite. I must admit it is more truck than I need, but I went for the safety features; which is why I chose this one (color was top of the list); the sadness is that Paige cannot ride in any vehicle other than a medical transport, and that, in her wheelchair. A bummer! She really wanted to ride in Big Blue!

Zach, Katie, and Jennifer all are moving this summer, so as you might guess, they have their eyes on the “ideal” vehicle for moving purposes. Of course, it will come in quite handy for that purpose, but I’m fascinated at their focus. “Ahhh! Papa has a truck.  Hmm that’ll save on a U-Haul bill!” Paige and I are amused at their focus. She and I are happy for their new trajectories; Jennifer to her new home in Decatur, Zach to his new apartment in Athens—year-two at UGA, and Katie a new student at UGA. It keeps Paige and me immersed in adjusting to new ventures, and reports thereunto.

St Teresa of Avila wrote, “That is the wonderful thing about the journey: one is given more than one ever asks or even ever desires.” Of course she was speaking about life with God; nevertheless, it truly applies to Paige’s and my Journey; we are “   given more than we ask or desire”.  We find it so every day; sometimes we notice such grace; at other times it slips up on us—which is truly serendipity.

The miracle of grace is that even if we could repay all that is done for us it would cancel grace, making it a transaction, bordering on machination. Grace is without price, unsolicited, unmerited, freely given with no expectation of reciprocity. It’s the sort of relationship God offers us; every day we are grateful for such grace from God and our wonderful family and friends. We find it so many times and in diverse expressions. All of which makes each day a new venture.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

June 21, 2019      

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I discovered there are several women here at Budd Terrace who, like Paige, have husbands coming daily to visit, providing support and whatever is needed: these wives’ abilities, or lack thereof, run the gamut. We husbands, though we don’t discuss it, are something of a fraternity. In a world where the meaning of marriage is lost on many, this fraternity reminds me of an old Simon and Garfunkel song:

When you’re weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all (all)
I’m on your side, oh, when times get rough
And friends just can’t be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

We husbands do not feel like heroes, nor does the word “sacrifice” occur to us, as others often suggest; we attend to our wives without question.  We also know that if the shoe were on the other foot, our wives would be doing the same thing for us; only much more, and in a much better manner than we.

Speaking of men, Paige and Jennifer put together a fabulous Fathers Day party for me in Paige’s room; I returned from church and Jennifer called:

Jennifer: “Dad are you at Wesley Woods Towers?”

Me: “No.  I just got to the parking lot.”

Jennifer: “Go to your apartment and slooowly change your clothes.”

Me: “Get out of my ‘Church clothes?”

Jennifer: “Yes. —And take your time.”

(By this time, I’m suspicious— already thinking Father’s Day surprise?”)

Jennifer: “When you start out to Budd Terrace, walk slowly—verrry slowly.”

Me: “Ok.”

I had made my bed before breakfast, so I found other puttering to do. Then I got a text Message:

“Dad. You can walk faster, now.”

Back at Paige’s room were decorations, cards, packages; and, wait for it … BBQ dinners!! We had a grand time together. I had a 5:00 p.m. appointment with Katie (after her work) to set up my Father’s Day gift, a Fitbit Versa; So Jennifer stayed with Paige and gave her a facial, a nail treatment, massaged her most contracted hand, and trimmed her eyebrows. What a wonderful Father’s Day gift to me! —Jennifer doingß girl-things for Paige. I could never have done anything close to that for Paige. It did wonders for Paige. She felt quite pampered.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

June 28, 2019       

Dear Family and Friends,

Endurance. It’s a grunt-worthy word. It evokes thoughts of Eeyore, the pessimistic donkey in Willie-the-Poo–but without his pessimism, yet with his staying power: or maybe it evokes thoughts of a non-sentient entity, like a WW II Jeep. Whichever; in light of Paige’s and my journey—and fresh off Pentecost— for us, this passage from the Apostle Paul, bubbles with hope:

Now that we have been put right with God through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. He has brought us by faith into this experience of God’s grace, in which we now live. And so we boast of the hope we have of sharing God’s glory! We also boast of our troubles, because we know that trouble produces endurance, (emphasis mine) endurance brings God’s approval, and his approval creates hope. This hope does not disappoint us, for God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God’s gift to us. (Romans 5:1-5 GNT)

Endurance, or its shape of patience, seems lost on today’s culture; we tend to want it now, or sooner. We want it easy, not tough and demanding. Paige’s and my journey is teaching us to face each challenge, which brings a new opportunity.  I hate to admit it, but too often I’m in culture-captivity. Paige, however, rolls with the river. She apologizes to the Certified Nursing Assistants for unpleasant tasks they must perform; she thanks them for bringing ice water, or fruit, or a meal. It is not unusual to hear her say to one serving her, “I love you!” as a gesture of appreciation.  Last week, she said just that to a Certified Nursing Assistant who typically was grumpy; this week Paige told me, “You remember I told one I loved her? This week she has been so nice to me!” There had been no furtive intent in what Paige had said, but it did provoke a welcome response in the Certified Nursing Assistant.

Lately, as Jennifer prepares to move to her new house, ahem, uhh Big Blue (my truck) has been somewhat in demand. Thus, I have spent times helping her, during the day, and away from Paige; That, and her other feelings of isolation seem to have prompted Paige to want me to spend more nights in the recliner in her room. We’re working on ways to remedy that; for reason of my health’ Bailey and I need  to go to the apartment to take our night medications, and I need to sleep using my CPAP. For now, after Paige’s bedtime routines, teeth brushing, etc., I tuck her in, kiss her goodnight, and tell her I will lie in the nearby recliner a while, and later leave for the apartment. After she has relaxed and gone to sleep, I get up, kiss her goodnight again, and say “See you in the morning” as I leave. So far this works.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

July 5, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

In 1964, The New Christy Minstrels recorded “Today,” written by Randy Sparks; it was actually written for the soundtrack of a Confederate War movie. However it came out at the peak of the Vietnam War. Some say it offered something of a respite from the horror of the daily body-count news. John Denver had it on a number of albums. For Paige and me, it strikes a chord of hope and joy in the midst of life’s assaults. Below are some lines from the song;

I can’t be contented with yesterday’s glory
I can’t live on promises winter to spring
Today is my moment, now is my story
I’ll laugh and I’ll cry and I’ll sing
Today, while the blossoms still cling to the vine
I’ll taste your strawberries; I’ll drink your sweet wine
A million tomorrows shall all pass away
‘Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, Today.

We try to focus on -–today. The only calendar we have in the room is the interminable “Today Is…” reminder-calendar. As something in the manner of a digital watch it only tells the immediate, not chronological perspective; which helps focus on living in the moment. Paige and I both had careers requiring our knowing what is to happen this week, this month, this year and, sometimes, years ahead; this Journey teaches us to focus on the present. Therefore, Randy Sparks’ words resonate with recurring freshness for us, as we “(…remember) the joy that is mine, Today.”

Our Pembroke Welsh Corgi, Bailey, has ensconced herself firmly into the culture of Budd Terrace. Regulars know her by name; nearly everyone we meet, when I take her out for walks, adores her. Usually they want to pet or touch her. Most of the Certified Nursing Assistants, nurses, and cleaning staff are impressed about how quietly she lies beside Paige’s bed— or between the bed and door, as if protecting Paige; I’m not sure that’s not the case anyway.

One night recently, as I was leaving Paige’s room for the day, Bailey and I walked along the dark walkway through a patch of woods to Wesley Woods Towers. As we approached two people, I recognized the voice of a Certified Nursing Assistant; “Is that you, Liz?” I asked. It was, and we chatted a bit and she went on.  I learned later that she when she got to her work on her floor she was telling about that encounter; she said, “I was coming up the walk and Bailey said, ‘Is that you Liz?’ “ Then she realized what she had swapped Bailey’s name for mine; it made for a good laugh. Paige especially got a big laugh out of it when Liz told her. Then for a couple of days on 7^th floor, Liz’s mix-up provided lots of laughs for staff and others—usually Liz was telling it!

Jennifer went to The Varsity and brought back a Fourth-of-July picnic for us. Paige was delighted to get Varsity onion rings and chili-slaw dogs! (Shhhh, We won’t tell the medical staff. It was a grand celebration!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

July 12, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

As you might guess, a Journey such as Paige’s and mine prompts lots of prayer as well as discussions about prayer; some are questions like: “Why pray?” and “How do I pray?” or more nihilistic, “What good is prayer anyway?” Theologian, John Westerhoff III wrote, “Prayer is the disciplined dedication to paying attention.”  And from The Apostle Paul;

 “In the same way the Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express.” Romans 8:26 (GNT)

Julian of Norwich, medieval Christian mystic and contemporary of Chaucer, wrote:

Pray, even if you feel nothing, see nothing. For when you are dry, empty, sick or weak, at such a time is your prayer most pleasing to God, even though you may find little joy in it. This is true of all believing prayer.

Paige sometimes wonders, “What is going on?” She knows this disease is degenerative, and she sees (feels) it in her body as muscular control gives way to constriction of her limbs. The other night I said, “All your life you have been a ‘Quiet Disciple.’ You don’t make a lot of fuss about your faith. But. Your witness is powerful; I know many people beyond our list get the UPdate each week, because I hear from some who respond, maybe from their Sunday School class and such. As you and I often say, ‘everybody is dealing with something.’ And your attitude and faith strengthens them as they read these Updates. We know this because of the responses we get.”

Earlier this week I did something in some fumble-fisted way, and I said, “I’m sorry.  I don’t know how you have put up with me for almost 56 years!” Then, in classic deadpan she said, “Well, I just didn’t want to have to train someone else!”  We both cracked up laughing. In spite of occasional gaps in her thinking— something like what happens to your cell phone when you drive through a tunnel—Paige keeps a sharp lookout. It keeps me on my toes, anyway.

Jennifer is helping make Paige’s room more “homey.” She found an attractive hutch-style metal shelving that adds an attractive presence. The corner had become a bit crowded. It gave form and utility to that part of the room. Jennifer has that artistic touch.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

July 19, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

First of all, I moved—or am doing so now.  Paige remains at Budd Terrace; Jennifer bought a house closer to us, (and to her school) I’m moving in with her. 

Now for the UPdate; Paige and I look back from time to time to the storms of life we have weathered; we find that how we weathered those storms always depended on our Faith. The words of Charles A. Tindley’s hymn speak to it perfectly:

When the storms of life are raging, Stand by me; When the world is tossing
me like  ship upon the sea, Thou who rules wind and water, Stand by me.

All along we feel, and have felt, that steady Hand upholding us throughout. Nor do we tower above anyone else in facing the storms of life; every one of you faces them in one fashion or another—though usually not as public as Paige’s and mine. As a ministerial family in the United Methodist Church, our personal exposure moves rapidly across the UMC Connection; it can be a two-edged sword; a bane and a blessing. However we wouldn’t exchange it for any other. This passage from the book of Hebrews illustrates our Connection:

As for us, we have this large crowd of witnesses (Emphasis mine, and read “Connection”) around us. So then, let us rid ourselves of everything that gets in the way, and of the sin which holds on to us so tightly, and let us run with determination the race that lies before us. Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from beginning to end. (Hebrews 12:1-3 GNT)

Paige and I have stories— some funny, some endearing, and some touching— of our encounters across the globe that come from the Connection. Our grandson, Zach, says he can’t go anywhere with Papa without his finding someone he knows—(and embarrassing to a teen), goed over to speak. And then there’s this; our weekly UPdate impacts unknown hosts of people. Some contact us directly, some indirectly. Recently one of our friends had an endearing flashback prompted by a quote we used from a song. As a result, she copied it and sent it to their daughter. She wrote us and shared the endearing, poignant drama the song had prompted years ago.

Family and friends share with us from time to time, something of their “storms of Life;” mostly we can only guess what you are going through. Therefore, in prayer and memories, we hold all of you dear; we pray God’s richest blessings on you. And. There is the humor, crafted or unintentional; Such as not long ago I mentioned “Winnie-the-Poo” but had typed Willie-the Poo instead; one of our attentive friends wondered if I had gotten so old I’d forgotten his name.  Paige and I got a good laugh from that. Life is good….

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

(not Friday) July 26, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, this is The Week That Was, Is, and, looks as if it Shall Be. Jennifer and I have kept Paige in stitches with reports of our antics in moving; As reported, Jennifer moved, I moved in with her, and we placed as well as we could, accouterments of Jennifer’s two soon-to-be-off-to-college offspring in a rented POD. So we’ve been playing a real-life, adult version of “Rush Hour” or “Tetris;” shifting that from here to get it there, moving this from here to put it there, un-stacking this to find something else— on it goes .

Sorry ‘bout the delay last week; I couldn’t get my Internet connection to “send”; but thanks to Toni (our Sunday school communicator) and Jennifer, for using their means to get it out.  I’m assuming all of you got last week’s; and thanks for those of you who were concerned and asked if we’re OK?

Paige enjoyed a couple of days under Janet’s care, which was a Godsend! Janet is with another healthcare company now and works closer to her home. Therefore it is difficult to get her, especially since we only need fill-in while Jennifer and I are getting moved. At Jennifer’s house, we’re having some repairs and upgrades done. So there is some give-and-take with the workers and us. Due to my involvement in helping Jennifer manage shuffling schedules etc., we have needed to engage some all-day sitters to do for Paige what I normally do.

Paige is managing to keep good spirits and a positive attitude, as is typical of her. One night this week we almost laughed ourselves to tears (happy ones) at some of the improbable twists and turns of this week; different caregivers almost every day, a good friend coming to read a good book to her, one of our pastors visiting her, Jennifer spending a night with her, and — having two (2) Strawberry milkshakes from Steak N’ Shake in two days!

My schedule with Paige will not vary, due to the move; I’ll continue to be with her as usual but go home, instead of to Wesley Woods Towers to spend the night. I am pleased that Paige thinks this is a good idea for me to be with Jennifer.  She gives hearty approval and enjoys our giving her updates on what is going on in this transition.  It thrills Paige that Jennifer is employing so much of what she taught her, as she prepares this, her new home. Now and then Jennifer even says, “Well, I’m like my Momma, doing this.”

Well, “That’s the news from Lake Woebegone.” Tune in next week!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

August 2, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

As I drive to Budd Terrace each day to be with Paige, I pass through Toco Hill, a community heavily populated with Jewish families.  On Holy and special days, the sidewalks are filled with Jewish families walking (adhering to Torah) bedecked in their religious attire, going to and coming from worship and events. I am reminded of how open and tolerant Paige has always been with the religious, ethnic, and racial diversity in her classroom. It thrills me to see the dedication of these families as they execute faithfulness to religious requirements of their Faith.

Recently yard signs popped up in the neighborhood saying, “We Support our Emory Jewish Students.” When I told Paige about the signs, she asked why they were there. I inquired and discovered the following from Emory; a few months ago bogus Eviction notices were placed on the doors of Emory Jewish students. This follows many similar anti-Semitic incidents in other Universities across the United States. Such behavior runs against the grain for Paige. Over the years, she never referred to any student by race or religion. She would simply say, “A student of mine said…(or did) so-and-so” Or she would refer to the student by name, when appropriate. Entrusted to care for Paige these days is a plethora of CNAs of diverse religions, nationalities, and races.  She never makes a distinction; she treats them all with dignity.       

I think these words of Georgia native, Ray Stevens’ Everything is Beautiful capture Paige’s attitude toward people:

We shouldn’t care about the length of his hair, or the color of his skin.
Don’t worry about what shows from without, but the love that lives within.
And we’re gonna get it all together now; everything gonna work out fine.
Just take a little time to look on the good side my friend,
And straighten it out in your mind.

I have spoken of Paige’s steadfast faith before; not one to gush about her relationship with God, she simply holds a steadfast assurance of God’s love and Presence. One of her favorite hymns is Because He Lives. Over the years, as I’ve stood next to her when that hymn is sung, the following words bring tears of gladness to her:

And then one day, I’ll cross the river,
I’ll fight life’s final war with pain;
And then, as death gives way to victory,
I’ll see the lights of glory and I’ll know He lives!

We look into each other’s eyes and exult in that assurance; which is why, as I leave her for the night, we both say, “See you in the morning, Sweetheart!”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

August 9, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

For the past couple of weeks, I have been absent from Paige’s room a lot; packing, moving, unpacking, and its attendant misadventures consumed the days like a hungry bear. However, Paige has handled the scrambled schedule masterfully; would you expect less? I manage to keep her entertained regaling her with tales of this quixotic quest. Not only is Paige fully in favor of my moving in with Jennifer—in her newly acquired house—but also pleased to hear about each new development.  Her observation skills are sharp, and her sense of humor is incisive; as I was setting up her evening meal:

Paige: “What is under that bandage on your arm?
Willis: “I was helping move Katie’s desk. My skin is thin and I scraped it on the door. Jennifer cleaned and treated the scrape. She put this Band-Aid on it. ”

Paige: “It won’t be long before Jennifer earns her Geriatric Nurse Certification!”

Well, I can’t argue with that!

Paige also delights in hearing how much like her mother Jennifer is in planning, deciding, and choosing appointments in her home.  One afternoon I came to Paige’s room from a day with Jennifer; I said, “I just spent a day with Paige Moore, planning, shopping and hauling, for our move-in!” Paige just cackled! Not only did she think it hilarious, but also was greatly gratified that some of her training had rubbed off on Jennifer.

On a more serious matter, the PA was concerned about what appears to have been a blister on Paige’s little toe that burst and is healing very nicely. It is neither painful nor infected. He left notes to the staff to attend it carefully, preventing it from losing the good scab it has developed. He feels it is a non-issue, but left unnoticed, could become a problem.

To cap off this week, Jennifer, Zach, and I moved him back to UGA for the fall semester; he and some pals rented a house thee to set up housekeeping.  That, itself, will become a saga of impressive proportions. Nevertheless they’re all under the same roof with nary a qualm. We’re taking Katie today to move in at UGA; it’s only taking two cars and a truck to get her there. As  Paige did often with her own grandmother before returning to college, both Katie and Zach spent time with Paige before leaving. They spun tales of hilarity about the Corgi sisters, and their antics  Paige thoroughly enjoyed their time together. More to come, I’m sure… 😉 

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

August 16, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

At our wedding in Adel, GA fifty-six years ago-next week; these words of Henry Van Dyke thrilled our hearts. 

Joyful, joyful, we adore You, God of glory, Lord of love; Hearts unfold like flow’rs before You, Op’ning to the sun above. Melt the clouds of sin and sadness; Drive the dark of doubt away; Giver of immortal gladness, Fill us with the light of day!

There we pledged our love and loyalty to each other, and still say, “One lifetime will not be enough.” And. We feel so even more now. But. You hear all the time: “Life is short;” “Live today;” “You never know what life will throw at you!”   Yet, hitting that unseen wall of “outrageous fortune” is an electric shock for which one is never prepared! Who among you would ever have thought of such a metamorphosis; from when you saw Paige last time, only next time to see her totally dependent upon someone else for all her needs? Yet, through it all, Paige is not bitter, does not rage against this disease nor grow weary. She simply strides steadily toward life, both present and Eternal. André Couch says it better;

 I thank God for the mountains, and I thank Him for the valleys, I thank Him for the storms He brought me through. For if I’d never had a problem, I wouldn’t know that he could solve them, I’d never know what faith in God could do.

I’d never know what faith in God could do. Through it all, through it all, I’ve learned to trust in Jesus, I’ve learned to trust in God.

Paige even abides gracefully my now needing to spend more time away from her; while Jennifer and I wriggle into our new space, among boxes and workers. Paige also enjoys “walking along” with Jennifer—as she starts a new school year—brings back many happy memories of her elementary school teacher days. Paige loves to hear our tales; we bring her in on the good, the bad, and the unlikely of our haps and mishaps along the way. However, it is hard to hear her say, “I look forward to going over there and seeing everything you’re telling me about.” (Although we know this will never happen, she doesn’t dwell on the idea, nor do we.)

Paige keeps up with things; one night last week, I said, “You don’t like the grilled cheese sandwiches here. Why don’t we have one from Panera Wednesday night?” When I arrived Wednesday afternoon, she said, “Are you going to Panera for grilled cheese?” Of course I went. I loved that she remembered and reminded me. Paige is still in there; it’s her body that doesn’t cooperate. You just don’t get much past that girl!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

August 23, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

This week, Paige and I celebrated our 56^th wedding anniversary in her room at Budd Terrace. I asked Paige what menu she wanted for our celebration?  She said “Pizza” (that’s quite a departure from “nursing-home food.”) Jennifer brought an assortment of Flatbread pizzas; there in Paige’s room, accompanied by the requisite Red Roses, the three of us enjoyed the feast and being together. (Paige always said, “Roses don’t last long, but they say so much while they are here!”)

We find great peace in recognizing the blessings among our days; my grandfather often said, “You tend to find what you look for.” St. John of the Cross expressed it thusly; “In the dark night of the soul, bright flows the river of God.” As we approach the fourth year of Paige’s diagnosis (possibly the 8^th year of it’s insinuation into her body), we find no end to the blessings we receive. Again, we turn to Andre Crouch to express our sentiments;

How can I say thanks for all the things You have done for me? Things so undeserved, yet You gave to prove Your love for me. The voices of a million angels could not express my gratitude. All that I am and ever hope to be, I owe it all to Thee.

Paige and I cannot imagine life without our Faith, even in “The dark night of the soul,” —it happens to everyone. In such times we need only to turn to empirical evidence of God’s love; caring expressions of concern and love from our Sunday school class, family and friends; cards, E-mails, visits, and most of all strong Scriptural reminders of God’s steadfast love. One cannot but feel a deeply visceral awareness that God is with us.

This week we reconnected with two GTC (now Georgia Southern University) friends—one a classmate, the other the wife of our professor. Both know the close alliance of long-term caregiving; both offered seasoned compassion for Paige’s and my Journey. They gave radiance to our Journey that arises from deep, long-term friendships. (Unfortunately, part of the message from Dr. Faries’ wife was that he died earlier this year).

Life is precious, and relationships garnered along the Journey make it even sweeter. We cherish each of you—family and friend. Ulysses said, “I am a part of all that I have met.” Thank you for being a part of Paige and me.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

August 30, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

 Paige’s doctor stepped up some of the skin treatment in ongoing care. She is concerned that no abrasion, scrape, or graze develops on Paige. Being continually confined to her bed or recliner such dangers lurk menacingly; unchecked, damage could easily escalate with serious consequences. The nurse, doctor, PA, and various Certified Nursing Aides keep lookout for such intrusions. I am glad more than one set of eyes keep up with these things.  

Jennifer and I have noticed something of an uptick in Paige’s sporadic breaks in conversational continuity. Recently she addressed Jennifer as “my sister,” but soon picked up normal conversation. Her cognitive mental processes function fairly well; when her words twist in a different direction, she usually catches herself and either self-corrects or just stops talking. The regular staff at Budd Terrace has learned, fairly well, not to take her first answer to a question as what she meant.

In these Updates, I mostly steered clear of describing technical aspects of this disease; yet it has multiple expressions, such as forms of apraxia; 

“… the loss or impairment of the ability to execute complex coordinated movements without muscular or sensory impairment; there is also dyspraxia (the mild form): Other types of apraxia include limb-kinetic apraxia (the inability to make fine, precise movements with an arm or leg), ideomotor apraxia (the inability to make the proper movement in response to a verbal command), ideational apraxia (the inability to coordinate activities with multiple, sequential movements, such as dressing, eating, and bathing).”

Well so much for tech-talk.

It seems that there are as many brain issues as there are hair colors: while Paige’s cognitive issues are not dementia, they do have to do with the brain’s ability to command (vocal as well as skeletal) the appropriate function— maybe forms of apraxia. Although mostly episodic, they do seem to happen more often lately. It has been a while since she has carried on something of an actual conversation. She laughs with me at funny things on TV, especially when we crack jokes about them; for example we saw an ad for becoming a “cat trainer.”  I laughed and said, “A cat trainer!? ?” Paige laughed and said, “That’s an oxymoron!” Our family has always had fun with language; puns, ‘Shaggy dog’ stories, word games, even hyperbole. Therefore, Paige and I enjoy “making our own fun,” as we find things that make us laugh.

Paige and I can verify that “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22)

I have referred before to Norman Cousins (the late editor of Saturday Review,) having “laughed himself into health” from a rare, debilitating illness. While our laughter is not actually healing Paige, it does lift her spirits; as do visits and greetings from you. Thank you!!!

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

September 6, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

September inspires thoughts of endings and beginnings– summer romances/returns to reality; vacation /First day of school; graduation/ new job; good byes/hellos; even death/life. . For United Methodist ministers, it happens in the month of June marking ending/beginning; one Sunday, there are tearful (usually) good byes only to greet the next Sunday (usually ) with happy hellos. Henri Nouwen says death is also a new beginning; not only an ending, but also a beginning. “September Song”

is about beginning and ending (life or maybe a summer romance?) It puts beginnings and endings into something of a perspective;

Oh, it’s a long, long while from May to December
But the days grow short when you reach September
When the autumn weather turns the leaves to flame
One hasn’t got time for the waiting game

However, on the other hand, the “Hymn of Promise” invites theological focus on beginnings and endings:

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

It was September 2016: Paige experienced the dramatic ending/beginning (or was it a recognition) that this Journey pronounced; many of you remember Paige’s severe fall; she went into rehabilitation for seven weeks. She regained most of her mobility for a while, but rapid decline set into motion. From that point on we continue to experience beginnings and endings.

I started writing these weekly Updates back then. First they were to apprise family and friends of the medical journey we had been cast into; they have morphed into a Blog. They also serve our family as something of a chart, or an after-the-fact-map of this Journey. From time to time someone suggests that this recorded history could benefit others who are navigating similarly difficult or unknown waters.

I continue to be deeply grateful that Paige keeps a strong sense of Immanuel (God with us.) She does not fret over endings; for example, giving up her favorite caregiver, Janet in exchange for 24/7 skilled care at Budd Terrace, or losing use of her right hand— most of her left, and both feet. And she welcomes new beginnings; new doctors, nurses, new routines, mornings, etc. Paige could give chapters of reasons for negative (read destructive) thinking. She refuses to go down that rabbit hole; she remains steadfastly saying, “Attitude is a choice; my choice.”

So, we welcome the beginning of each new day while finding rest in the ending of the day; saying with the Psalmist (4:8I), “I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety.”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my morning prayer list), I pray for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

September 13, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Our Family and Friends often bless us with encouragement and thoughtfulness; few if any offer “advice.”  Parker Palmer, the author, reminded me that this is a blessing; In The Gift of Presence, The Perils of Advice, he wrote,

 A few years ago, my wife gave me some advice that struck me as — how shall I say? — Superfluous. Remembering our experience with my mother, (paying more for ‘extra help’ each month) I said, “Could I pay a little less this month?” To this day, that line gives us a chance to laugh instead of getting defensive when one of us attempts, as both of us do now and then, to give the other unsolicited and unwanted “help.”

I must confess that my training as a counselor sometimes tends to evaporate when faced with realities of the present, whereupon I’ve given unsolicited advice. Paige has often told me “I do not want you to fix this; I just want you to listen.”

Recently Jennifer wondered how it is that Paige seems to accept with grace, this Journey; it has taken so much away from her. I told her I don’t know either. But my guess is based on what Paige told me early in this Journey; “I know Whose I am; and when the end comes, I know where I am going.” I think you cannot have better peace than that! Over four hundred years ago, St. Teresa of Avila wrote:

Let nothing Disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, Though all things pass, God does not change. Patience wins all things. But he lacks nothing who possesses God; For God alone suffices.

Maybe Winnie-the-Pooh gets it right when he says, “Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.”(― A.A. Milne,)  Early on, as well as from time to time, I have spoken of our living “in the moment.” This moment is the only moment we have! Heraclitus of Ephesus (535 – c. 475 BC) wrote;

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”(Apologies for the male reference—but he wrote it 500 years Before Christ!)

Today’s UP-date is something of a composite icon of us; how much we live not alone—how much we depend on one another, family, friends, ancestors, and mentors. So. At the risk of “preaching to the choir,” seize and cherish each moment. It is of these moments life is formed.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

September 20, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

In the process packing, moving, and unpacking (twice in the past ten months), I came across a reminder Paige kept on the bulletin board over her desk at home:

Courage doesn’t always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice saying
“I will try again tomorrow.”

Fifty-six years with her convinces me that she took this epigram to heart; these days it bears her well. She seems to greet each day with the same cheerfulness and hope as always. Occasionally, when I tell of something Jennifer or did or saw, she may say something like “When can I see it?” or “When can I go there?”  Of course she can’t; but the desire remains. I handle such by torqueing the conversation in a different direction; it usually works. I want never to say to Paige, “Well, you know, you won’t ever be able to do/see that.”

One day I wasn’t able to get to Paige’s room to feed her breakfast; it was afternoon by the time I got there; her “overnight” DVD was still playing, (it’s the only DVD that will play continuously without needing someone to restart  it.) After hugs and kisses, I said, “Your TV program is not on.  Want me to shut off the DVD movie and switch to TV?” She said, “No let’s just visit and talk a while.” I said, “OK”, and sat down to visit. She just responded to questions so it was almost a Q & A; finally I asked if she wanted me to turn TV back on. She did. This is one of the hard parts; to sit with she of a lifetime of lively conversation, now not always able to speak in consistent sentences.  I (though no authority on such), am convinced that maybe part of this reticent behavior is her knowing she cannot speak as articulately as she once could; therefore resists the chance she might muddle her words by trying.

Jennifer shared our “Sunday night Burger King picnic” in Paige’s room. She also took the evening to give Paige a facial, and other “girlie” things—that I cannot do.  Turns out, Paige also wanted Jennifer to stay to brush her teeth for her (ahem—seems that she preferred Jennifer’s over my efforts). That’s OK.  I’m a big boy now. I can take rejection! 😉 Jennifer also ordered an appliance to have hot water quickly for Paige’s bath cloths. It works much better than trying to get warm water from the schizophrenic bathroom spigot.

Paige gets lots of laughs hearing about Jennifer and me setting up household, as well as things we do for her. She did appreciate the “hot pot” idea, and loves soups Jennifer makes for her. So, I guess we’re doing OK.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

September 27, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Our pastor, Rev. Susan Allen Grady, visited Paige and me; she promised to bring Holy Communion next time. Paige thoroughly enjoys Susan’s hearty laugh; we shared lots of parsonage/pastor stories that kept us in stitches laughing (Susan grew up in a parsonage); Susan’s handling Paige’s wobbly conversation made Paige quite comfortable in the visit.  I think what really matters— is that when someone visits Paige, the visitor genuinely cares. Susan does that. Paige has always been able to sense authenticity in people. It annoys her when someone is faking it. Of course that is another reason she really likes Pastor Susan; she is genuine.

Jennifer and I have noticed from time to time Paige will make a statement or ask a question, a non sequitur to what’s being said. For example; once she once asked Jennifer, “Why didn’t you take my grocery list to the store?” It is difficult to experience these gaps in her-once-precise-orderly mental process. Yet it is necessary for us to understand that when the synapses fail to fire, or fire inappropriately, it is part of the disease. I am comforted by the words Catharina von Schlegel wrote Circa 1700:

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side;
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly, Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

I feel my first order of business is to be present for Paige as much as possible; through the coaching of Jennifer and friends I have, however, managed to carve out time for my own body-mind-spirit regeneration. It is hard, but I’m coming to see it as a necessity.      

Paige still gets a kick out of cracking wise; I had a warm bath cloth wiping her face and she winced. I said, “Oh! I’m sorry; I guess it was too warm. I guess you’re gonna fire me.” She said, “No. I’ll just cut your pay.”  That’s an argy-bargy we’ve used to tease each other with for years! I just love her quick wit! Since I moved in with Jennifer, as I come back to Paige’s room she will ask, “What kind of list has Jennifer given you this time?” Paige was famous for her “lists.” So she is quite pleased that Jennifer is keeping up the tradition.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

October 4, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Ann Voskamp, in GUIDEPOSTS wrote what Paige and I have found to be enduring;

In stressful times, seek God.
In painful times, praise God.
In terrible times, trust God.
And at all times…thank God.

Even before Paige and I were catapulted into this Journey, we recognized the limitation of human vision; the future is, as the hymn says, “something God alone can see.” 

The Holmes and Rae Stress Scale rates 100 stressful life-events; each stressful life-event is given a rank related to its susceptibility to stress-induced health breakdown. We all have experienced one or more of those stresses— even more likely, one or more in the upper 90’s rank; chances are, many of you are experiencing one or more now. Last week Paige and I were talking about stress a friend is having; Paige said, “Everybody is dealing with something.”

I think the nearest Paige and I have come to something like the stress of our present Journey was when, at age 16, Melanie suffered stage 4 Ovarian Cancer; she underwent dramatic surgery, chemotherapy, lost her child-bearing ability, and her beautiful blond hair. Almost everyone expected it to be fatal. This week she celebrated her 38^th anniversary cancer-free.

When undergoing wrenching stress. one cannot successfully process a concept of time—or much else, for that matter. The human tendency wants just to get through it; Early on, Paige and I found the secret for getting through; it was on a tiny ceramic turtle Dottie Coltrane gave Paige. This message on its back is; “One Day at A time.” Paige keeps that turtle tucked among her treasures. Marijohn Wilkin and Kris Kristofferson capture the essence of the phrase in their song:

One day at a time, sweet Jesus
That’s all I’m asking from You
Just give me the strength to do everyday
What I have to do
Yesterday’s gone, sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine
Lord, help me today, show me the way
One day at a time

I think that more than Paige, I find it difficult to live the one-day-at-a-time aphorism; especially these days—awaiting the return of Big Blue —in for extensive repairs (exacerbated by the GM strike), the ubiquitous prattle of government leadership, not to mention the nursing assistants’ revolving door here at Budd Terrace. If it were not for our “seeking God,” as Ann Voskamp counsels, we would be adrift. We feel a deep symbiotic relationship with you, our Family and Friends, for many of you share your journeys with us, and we pray for your needs; it just doesn’t get any better than that.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

October 11, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige and I are sadly disappointed that her wonderful “Prayer Quilt” has disappeared. It is the Prayer Quilt given to her three years ago when she was in rehab following her disastrous fall. The Quilt Ministry at our church presented it for prayers in the sanctuary, and then brought it to her.  The most consistent explanation is that at new tech rolled it into the bed linens for the laundry and sent to the laundry vendor in Rome, GA.  There is still no word on it.

On another matter, author, Denis Waitley wrote,

Happiness cannot be traveled to,
owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of
living every minute with
love, grace, and gratitude.
Maybe Waitley borrowed from Paul’s counsel to the Galatians;
But the Spirit produces love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
humility, and self-control. (5:22-23)

Both writers make it clear that such grace comes as fruit, not achievement; it is the result of a life in consonance. Paige is teaching us that the good life, the graceful life, comes not as a result of trying to impress anyone; nor does it come with fanfare, or a parade. I think Paige would say happiness, or graceful living, germinate from love, grace, and gratitude; …which she shows when she thanks a staff member for cleaning her up, giving meds, etc.

Paige sustains a great attitude; I continue to be amazed at how much she and I can laugh, be silly, and look on the bright side.  She often thanks the janitorial staff and shows appreciation, sometimes apologizing for what they have to do, even though it is their job.  She wanted me to set out a basket of Halloween candy this week, for the staff to enjoy; I did so (but—I hid all the Snickers…. Paige’s favorite). They seem to be enjoying it!

We’ll plan something interesting and fun for her room for Halloween.  We welcome suggestions.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

October 18, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

I suppose my need to share the following somewhat dominates this week’s UPdate; I’m not sure what to make of this, but Paige is gradually becoming less responsive verbally. She will answer a direct question, usually saying what she means; but often her answer is inverse to what she intended. We view the decline in her conversation as a degeneration continuum in this disease; her sentences tend to be about six to ten words. We feel blessed that only her body was impacted first; now degeneration is gnawing at her personality. It is tough dealing with this, but Paige does not seem to let it bother her.

And yet, in this wrinkle, almost daily Paige and I learn of someone among you, our Family and Friends, who suffers some sticky wicket—a major challenge or a nagging inconvenience. I’ve told you before, Paige says, “Everyone is dealing with something;” She says it not dismissively; it is her compassion speaking. The Psalmist alerts us to challenges we all face daily;

I have so many enemies, Lord,
    so many who turn against me!
² They talk about me and say,
    “God will not help him.”(Psalm 3:1 GNT)

In A GUIDE TO PRAYER, Bishop Reuben Job points out that our enemies are not the flesh and blood type,

 “…our enemies are many and just as deadly (as those of the Psalm)…they are inside us, and they are subtle and harder to escape—enemies such as the lust for power, laziness, spiritual boredom, worry, fear, unrelenting anger, extramarital relationships, pride, coveting…”

We fight (or join) them daily; the struggle is unrelenting. Enemies lurk, not only in our souls, but also within our contexture. Example; Flu season is here. Constant battle is essential against such; the human body is vulnerable. Then there is traffic; we must do battle to stay safe. Or alive. Every time the rubber hits the road. While one must not become morbidly preoccupied with “enemies,” it is essential constantly to be on guard; otherwise enemies without and within threaten to do us in. Therefore we must affirm, as did the Psalmist;

But you, O Lord, are always
my shield from danger;
you give me victory
and restore my courage.(3:3-4)

Paige and I find that daily turning to God tends to supplant disquiet; our anchor is evening time-with-God:  Scripture, THE UPPER ROOM, and readings from BREAD FOR THE JOURNEY by Henri Nouwen. It puts things into perspective and revives our trust in God. We pray the same for you.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

October 26, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

Recently I ran across this observation by culinary writer, Anthony Bourdain;

(A journey) isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.

He speaks volumes to the Journey Paige and I travel these days. He is right on target about the good we hopefully leave behind; it would be unfortunate for us to complete this Journey without our leaving something good behind. We think of Melanie’s cancer Journey nearly forty years ago. From that experience, Paige and I have always welcomed opportunities to participate in medical research.  (I’m participating in a medical research study now with Harvard Medical School.)

When Paige had breast cancer, her doctor asked if she would like to enter a five-year medical research study. Paige asked Melanie’s doctor about the study. He simply said, “Melanie wouldn’t be alive today someone hadn’t participated in a study of Ovarian Cancer” Nuff said; Paige joined the study. Likewise, in this current Journey, Paige welcomed, (“enjoyed” is not the appropriate word) the opportunity to participate in medical studies at the Emory Brain Health Center. Even though there is no cure in the offing for her disease, professors from the Emory Medical School continue to see her at Budd Terrace.

I like what Ignatius of Loyola wrote about suffering:

If God causes you to suffer much,
it is a sign that He certainly intends
to make you a saint.

Now for a brighter story: Jennifer, with well-worn recipe cards in hand, plunged into baking some of Paige’s favorite desert treats; to take to our DAWGS, Zach and Katie at UGA, and for the Oak Grove United Methodist Church Bake Sale. It really pleases Paige when our daughters recall happy memories from baking in her kitchen. While Paige’s reputation as the Preeminent Princess of Perfect Pound Cakes remains unscathed, the hot breath of both our daughters blows near on her neck for that achievement. .

Speaking of our daughters, they gave me a birthday party in Paige’s room last night, although Melanie’s participation was by proxy. Paige was delighted. Jennifer fed Paige all she could eat, topping it off with Paige’s favorite desert, ice cream.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, November 1, 2019

Dear Family and Friends,

The other day, Jennifer reminded me of a pivotal office visit with Paige’s Neurologist early on in this Journey; as he completed his examination, he discussed the prognosis. He concluded by saying, “This is a degenerative disease. We have not found a cure for it. How do you think you will deal with the degeneration?” Without skipping a beat, Paige calmly said, “I know Whose I am, and I know where I am going.  I am not afraid.” Clearly, he was taken aback, but managed to say, “That’s good. Keep that attitude.” Throughout this Journey, in spite of the degeneration, Paige has indeed kept that attitude. She does not grouse, complain, or make life miserable for those who care for her.

Dame Julian of Norwich said,

“He [Jesus] did not say,
‘You will never have a rough passage,
you will never be over-strained,
you will never feel uncomfortable,’
but he did say, ‘You will never be overcome.”

Living with Paige through this Journey, I experience some sense of “The Oklahoma Standard;” former governor of Oklahoma, the Honorable Brad Henry said,

Something called ‘the Oklahoma Standard’ became known throughout the world. It means resilience in the face of adversity. It means a strength and compassion that will not be defeated.

We had not heard the term ‘the Oklahoma Standard’ till recently, but it fits Paige to a “T;” daily I am impressed with her steadfast grip on “One Day at a Time.”  Although she does not articulate that phrase in words, she lives it daily. Years ago, Melanie and Jennifer said they had found “our song.” I think they meant it as a positive view of Paige’s and my relationship. It’s the refrain in a song by Huey Lewis & The News;

Yes, it’s true, (yes it’s true) I am happy to be stuck with you
Yes, it’s true, (yes it’s true) I’m so happy to be stuck with you
‘Cause I can see, (I can see) that you’re happy to be stuck with me

There are some phrases in the song that, while not offensive, just don’t fit us; anyway, Paige and I took the ascription of “Our song,” as a positive perception of our relationship.  Now that we have entered our 57^th year of marriage (61 years of friendship), we still find it a spot-on description of us. I sit with Paige at Budd Terrace; though her communication is limited, still I ponder the blessings bestowed on us over the years; and I think, “Yes! I really am “happy to be stuck with you!”

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, November 8, 2019

Dear Family and Friends

It is important that I work at focusing on the present; yet there is richness incorporating the fullness of all of life. I like what George Foreman said,

It’s great to reminisce about good memories of my past.
It was enjoyable when it was today.
So learning to enjoy today has two benefits:
It gives me happiness right now,
And it becomes a good memory later

I think George is right.  Now that Paige’s situation awareness is fading, when it seems all right, I ask her, “Do you remember the time we…” (Whatever good Memory)?  The recall often brings laughter, or a smile. Sometimes such reliving, gives us pleasant respite to a less-than-glorious day.  Somehow “Memories are Made of This”, (the song by Dehr, and Miller— made famous by Dean Martin)—ends with this phrase;

With His blessings from above,
Serve it generously with love.
One man, one wife, one love through life,
Memories are made of this.

Although I cannot dwell on it, I do miss our times of recalling something the girls did, or some vacation— even sometimes an embarrassing experience—like the time when we were on the way to Melanie and Jennifer’s band performance; I lurched the car and spilled a whole cup of Coke into Paige’s lap—-uuuhhhh—Not funny at the time. We have a passel of such stories to tell. From time to time I bring up one such story so we can have a good laugh. Usually, I can see it in her eyes when she recalls what I’m telling.

Often, we have some good laughs at our antics. One night this week as I read the UPPER ROOM scripture passage, it was Old Testament and, without my glasses, I struggled to read fluently, I said, “I’m reading poorly. Kinda like some of your First Graders.” Paige quipped, “More like some of the poor readers too.” We got a good laugh from that

Melanie and Jennifer convinced me to take care of my health, or, as they say, if I don’t, I won’t be around to take care of Paige. They said, “Think about it; When you get on an airplane the flight attendant says when the Oxygen mask drops, put it on yourself first, if you don’t you won’t be able to help anyone else. They made their point. So, I’m spending more time looking after my well being. I told Paige my plan, and she seems OK with it.  Having lost some sense of time, she seems not to be affected by my change of schedule.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, November 15, 2019

Dear Family and Friends

Paige was surprised and delighted a few days ago to receive a package; friends from Epworth UMC — a church we served over forty years ago—sent a Prayer Shawl.  It was hand knit by one of the members and blessed by a UMW Circle in the church.  As I read the message Paige, tears of joy welled up in her eyes, and as much as she is could—being choked up—she said, “Please send them a Thank You note!

Paige’s Cortico basal Ganglionic Degeneration is a brain disease; a “Parkinsonism,” her Neurologist calls it. She does have some episodal Parkinson-like tremors; but more dramatically, Paige’s body is affected by constriction of her arms and legs. She is not able to use her legs: her arms are clutched, one tightly at her chest. She is aware of her surroundings, but her verbal expression has limits; mostly it, too, is episodal. For example, her first answer to a question may be opposite of her intent; and she will say, “No. “I meant….” –correcting her statement. Sometimes she starts a sentence, then stops, realizing that it would be a non sequitur. She catches jokes,–and makes them—silly sayings, puns, and spoonerisms; which helps us laugh a lot.

A few college pals have sent comments, memories, and reminders, which I always read to her.  It touches her heart when I read these to her. And. I can tell it means a lot to her recalling these. For years I have had breakfast once a week with Dick Baker, a college buddy. He was also in the college band with Paige and me. When I say, “I’m going to have breakfast with Baker,” she says, “Tell Baker ‘Hello’ for me.” (He was in college with us). She is glad we keep in touch with friends as much as possible.

The other day I heard Kenny Rogers singing the Lionel Richie song, “Lady,” and I said– to the radio, “Yes, That’s it. This phrase says it all;”‘

Lady, your love’s the only love I need
And beside me is where I want you to be
‘Cause, my love, there’s somethin’ I want you to know
You’re the love of my life, you’re my lady

I ‘ve told Paige that back in college, seeing her, she struck me as quite a classy lady. We were friends, but never dated. I didn’t think she’d consider going out with me. It wasn’t till we were at Emory for a couple of years before I asked her for a date. She likes to tell me that back in Statesboro I missed several good opportunities to ask her out

This week we connected with some more college pals. These connections add joy to our Journey. These are reminders of the extent of our friendship circle; not to mention the added grist value for our memory mill. It helps to keep experiences fresh as well as recalling memories; memories help make sense of our history.

With Love and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, November 22, 2019

Dear Family and Friends

One night recently, we read in THE UPPER ROOM about a “God Box.” Maybe you already know this; we didn’t. A God box may be any container that may be opened. The idea is to write your current problem, worry, desire, or hard-to-make decision on a small piece of paper; fold it and put it in your God box. In essence, you are turning it over to God. After we read about it in a couple of different installments, Paige said, “I want a God Box”. The next day Jennifer brought her an attractive box she dubbed “The God Box.”

Paige does not ask for a miracle, or special treatment. From the outset, she has accepted the diagnosis as accurate; this is not to say she liked it. Even now, if I rant about some inattention from Certified Nursing Aides, she defends them. I know she is not just buttressing them; these exchanges take place in the privacy of her room, so the aides aren’t hearing what she said. Paige is that way; her patience and tolerance simply amaze me; probably because she is more patient and tolerant in this Journey than before she was stricken.

Likely you have noticed that we close each post “With Grace and Gratitude.” It is not said casually; we chose to craft it that way. Denver clinical psychologist Susan Heitler Ph.D. says  this about gratitude:

When we truly feel gratitude, we experience heartfelt awe and appreciation for the goodness of something outside ourselves. Having gratitude towards someone or something means respecting its value and treasuring how unique, beautiful, or indispensable it is.

Thus, our Complimentary Close each time is an intentional epilogue to each of you.

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, November 29, 2019

(This was her last Thanksgiving with us)

Dear Family and Friends

As I write this in the midst of the 2019 Thanksgiving holidays my heart is bursting with genuine gratitude: to offer a list of reasons for my gratitude would be pedestrian and hold a meaningless lackluster for you. What I can say is that it doesn’t take Sherlock Holmes to discover a cornucopia of blessings with every breath, or blink of an eye. You, our family and friends, figure into this abundance of blessings in a blaze of clarity; thank you for loving Paige and me, praying for us, and reassuring us of your love.

Paige and I had been married only about nine years when Jim Croce’s song, “Time In A Bottle” became a hit on the album, “You Don’t Mess Around With Jim;” now, words he burned into my brain ring with more truth than ever:

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
Till Eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

We celebrated Thanksgiving for couple of days– at Jennifer’s on Tuesday, so we could celebrate with Zach and Katie (they were at their dad’s on Thanksgiving Day). You might say we had “a moveable feast”—feast day, at lease). Jennifer did a masterful job replicating Paige’s traditional recipes and menu. It is interesting that although Paige has some difficulty communicating, she nailed it reviewing her dressing recipe; Jennifer sat at her bedside and Paige went over the recipe without a hitch—even correcting a copy her sister, Melanie,  had. 

On Thursday, Jennifer and I took Thanksgiving dinner to Budd Terrace to celebrate with Paige. Jennifer served Paige’s dinner on Paige’s mother’s china, with our Sterling silver. As the saying goes, Jennifer “did it up with ribbons.” We could tell Paige was really anticipating this meal, for when we arrived, Paige said, “Y’all sure are late!” Actually, we were earlier than we announced, and even earlier that Budd Terrace meals.  But it pleased us that she was anticipating it so.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!!

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, December 6, 2019

Dear Family and Friends

A while back Merriam-Webster’s “Word of the Day” was Fortitude; defined as “strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage,” In this Journey, fortitude is archetypal of Paige. Every day of this Journey Paige reflects that definition in one way or another; it is especially true when she is lucid. English Poet Henry Kirke White said of fortitude:

“When the day of misfortune comes and (comes it must sooner or later to all) we may be prepared with Christian fortitude to endure the shock.”

I am sure this is true of Paige; this Journey did come as quite a shock. She definitely has that Christian fortitude of which White speaks. Now days, it is mostly the memory of times past that lingers; more so for me than for Paige. However, last week I mentioned the name of a high school classmate of Jennifer’s, wondering if I had the name correct. Paige immediately, quite lucid, told me the correct name. But as far as some recalls, or discussing an era, it doesn’t usually happen. I miss those times; Paige had an awesome memory. If watching a movie when I came in, she would recount almost verbatim the scenes up to the present moment; Not so much now. This disease has robbed her of the ability to recount sequences, or to complete a thought. The mystery of the brain synapse function is that sometimes they provoke shockingly vivid recall, and other times when they quit firing mid-sentence. Yet, memories that do emerge are quite remarkable.

Part of my frustration is not being able to know what she is feeling/thinking. Sometimes when I ask her, she might gaze at the TV, or she may answer precisely, in reverse, or not at all. Medical folks say it frustrates someone with one of these brain diseases to ask them to repeat what they said.  I’m learning to avoid that. Questions do not clarify. Still, I say fortitude aptly describes Paige’s spirit and demeanor through it all. And. Surprises happen; like today. I was feeding breakfast to her. I pulled her juice straw away too soon and she said, “You dribbled it down my chin!”  I said, “I’m sorry. You’ll just have to fire me.” She said, “No. I’ll just cut your pay!” It is grand to have her quips and comebacks.

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, December 13, 2019

Dear Family and Friends

My hope that these Updates are informative to you, giving some insight into Paige’s (and my) navigation in this Journey; I hope they continue, in a measure, to be beneficial to those of you who may also be facing, or navigating a difficult journey. I make an effort to avoid being schmaltzy. Paige certainly doesn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. She doesn’t feel sorry for herself. She is simply steadfast in her Faith, tolerating, nay, accepting of care she receives. Paige is always glad to hear about the goings on in the lives of family and friends. I read them all to her. So our attempt is to keep a vibrant relationship with family and friends. Ukrainian author and poet Vironika Tugaleva underscores our point;

 “At the end of the day, your relationships with the people in your life will be greater assets than any material things. Take time. Be present. You’ll thank yourself for it later.”

We like Theologian/author Frederick Buechner’s comments about family and friends;

“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.”

All along this Journey, from both friends and the medical field, we find the admonition to stay mentally active, to invigorate one’s life, to keep social contacts vibrant. Otherwise, the aging process, not to mention assaults of disease, tends to corrode mind, body, and spirit. So. If, as a number of you have suggested, these tomes are beneficial, then they are worth the price of our opening up to you with honesty, clarity, and without apology.

I think William Shakespeare seemed to understand the value of vital social contacts. He said:

  A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.”

In the same vein, Lee Iacocca said;

My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.

All this to say Paige and I feel enormously blessed that our lives are filled with great family and friends, as both these men describe. So, you see, y’all keep us vibrant, keep us growing, and keep us cheered. Paige and I thank you!!!

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, December 20, 2019

Dear Family and Friends

In five days, Paige will spend her second Christmas in Budd Terrace. She is ok about being there. It is not at the top of her preferred list of happy places, but she is  comfortable,   has good medical service, and is cared for as well can be expected under the circumstances. For all these things, we are grateful. John Wesley’s last words could very well be the undergirding Watchword for Paige and me. He said, “Best of all, God is with us”. As we reflect on this last year, Wesley’s words again ring true.

We come to this high and Holy Season, the Birth of Jesus, with hearts warm, anticipating Love, Joy, Peace, and Hope. As an aside, I thought you’d like to know about a certain practice we occasionally encountered at Christmastime in some churches: the practice  rankled Paige’s theology like fingernails on a chalkboard; it was the practice of calling Christmas “Jesus’ Birthday.” “We do not,” she says, “celebrate Jesus’ birthday! We celebrate “The Birth of Jesus. There is a difference.” And she makes that clear; the difference is BIG. Theologically, she is spot on. She says, “Dr. Ted Runyon, my theology professor at Candler School of Theology, would choke at the term.”

Phillips Brooks’ theology is clear and captures the essence of the birth of Jesus in his familiar hymn, “O Little Town of Bethlehem”:

O holy Child of Bethlehem
Descend on us, we pray
Cast out our sin and enter in
Be born in us today
We hear the Christmas angels
The great glad tidings tell
O come to us, abide in us
Our Lord Emmanuel

And, in keeping with “The Reason for the Season” Christina Rossetti’s Hymn “In The Bleak Midwinter” signals a significant icon in the Birth of Jesus:

What can I give him
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb
If I were a wise man
I would do my part
Yet
What I can I give him
Give my heart

May Christ be born in your heart, as you yield to Him.  Merry Christmas! From Paige and Willis.

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, December 27, 2019

Dear Family and Friends

Our family had a patchwork celebration of Christmas; family members had atypical schedules, but we managed marvelously. I tried to create a Christmas high point for Paige. Since she cannot attend musical presentations, I played her favorite Christmas music, “The Hallelujah Chorus” (twice) from my iPhone play list, through my Bose external speaker. It is almost “Surround Sound,” so she was immensely cheered.

On January 2, 2020, in our family, another “Decade Birthday” enters this Journey:  80 years ago, Elma and Monsieur Dampier a welcomed precious baby girl, Ann Paige Dampier, into their home in Adel, GA. It took eighteen years for me to find her, and another four years to ask her for a date. We married twelve months later to the day.  Paige likes to hear me say, “In all these years, we never considered divorce. —-Murder a few times. Never divorce.” As you remember, I’ve said to Paige (after I make a mess or such in her room) “I’m such a sorry caregiver! You’re gonna fire me one day!” to which she always retorts, “No. I’ll just cut your pay!” And we both laugh.

In our mid 20’s, we both said “…for better or worse, in sickness and in health…” and meant it. We only considered smooth sailing on the sea of matrimony. But staring into the maw of a degenerative disease crams a stamp of reality into those ethereal words. Time comes to an abrupt stop. Plans collapse. Dreams evaporate. Social connections disappear–usually not intentionally, but due to circumstances. Focus changes from multi-tasking to a here-and-now-ness Years ago Jo Carr, an Advent writer Paige liked a lot, used a term for facing a crush of circumstances; “Do Ye The Next Thing,” Guidance Paige put into practice many times over the years. It serves us still.

I’m not sure how anyone handles devastating circumstances without Faith, (and a loving community like the Joyful Class—and Embry Hills United Methodist Church). Even the great Moses of the Old Testament needed his arms held up by Aaron during the stress of a crucial battle. Ruth Caye Jones has it right in her hymn, “In Times Like These:”

In times like these, we need a Savior
In times like these, we need an anchor
Be very sure, be very sure
Your anchor holds and grips the Solid Rock.

Thank you, family and friends, for helping us make sure our anchor grips the Solid Rock.

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

January 3, 2020

 Dear Family and Friends,

Happy New Year!!! We begin this New Year with something of a new regimen in health care for Paige.  During our quarterly Care Plan meeting last week, Paige’s medications were revamped; some are being phased out 1) since it is becoming more difficult for Paige to swallow, posing the danger of strangulation/aspiration, and 2) some medications were actually unnecessary. Her neurologist said earlier that the Parkinson’s medication could be dropped without negative effect. The Budd Terrace doctor did not drop it, wanting Paige to have another visit with her neurologist to verify. Our family nixed that option due to the stress, duress, and complications of transporting Paige across town; just to have that doctor say it’s OK to drop that medication. The medication is being discontinued; if she tolerates the change, we’ll continue with the new regimen intact.

Dealing with the onslaught of this degenerative disease presents a multifaceted dilemma; do we follow blindly the standard mission of the medical industry— “Try to heal the patient regardless”? Or face the reality that this disease is degenerative per se, i.e. resistant of treatment? Do you pour in needless pills and potions just to please the medical poo-bahs? Do you do so just to feel that you’re doing something?  Or. Do you work to give maximum quality of life and happiness? Our family opts for the latter; making what time she has left as near optimal as possible. The Bible promises only, “…Seventy years are given us! And some may even live to eighty…, ” (Psalms 90:10 TLB) -… and this week Paige reached that ten-year bonus. Paige was only 27 years old when her mother died— at age 57. Her death was hard to accept.

Death at any age is difficult to accept. Paige is not on the verge of death, any more than you or I. (The human death rate is 100%. Mortality is a reality.) But with the reality of degeneration taking its toll, we want her to be as happy and comfortable as possible, as lucid as the disease will allow, and no suffering through senseless—maybe even harmful—treatments. We give her the foods she wants, as well as we can and have discontinued torturous therapies; we also avoid unpleasantries, such as TV news, political discussion, and negative attitudes.   

Now for another matter; Paige loaned Katie, our granddaughter, her wheelchair during the holidays. During soccer, Katie tore her ACL at soccer and had surgery just before Christmas; it put a hitch in her git-along for shopping and visiting with family and friends. While Katie could navigate briefly on crutches, the wheelchair saved the day. Paige was delighted she could help the healing process for Katie. And on Paige’s 80^th birthday, this week, we had a grand celebration in her room! Jennifer and I made foods from Paige’s recipes. Paige dubbed the meal a success!!!

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, January 10, 2020

Dear Family and Friends,

This week’s UPdate is not as dark as last week’s and, no, I did not omit the “Subject Line” because of the dark tone. I just plain forgot to insert it. But by now you English teachers and proofreaders should be accustomed to my misprints.  And, no, I do not insert errors just to see if you’re paying attention!

I am not surprised, but I always have a warm feeling in my heart when I hear Paige say “Thank you!” to one of the facility’s workers—housekeeper, RN, Certified Nursing Aide— whomever.  She knows it is their job, yet she speaks her gratitude anyway. Motivational speaker Zig Ziglar said, “Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”

And some insight to Paige’s circumstances, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, “The most beautiful people I’ve known are those who have known trials, have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.“

Paige finds her “way out of the depths.” It’s her way of living. Paige’s life attests to a life lived well, in service to others. The birthday cards and responses to Jennifer’s Facebook birthday post show it. Paige is the epitome of what the United Methodist Women call “A Quiet Disciple.” Without fanfare, or gush of fancy words, she took her spot “in the kitchen,” so to speak.

Paige takes offense at Luke 10:38-42; Jesus visited in the home of Mary and Martha in Bethany. Mary sat listening to Jesus’ teaching, while Martha toiled in the kitchen. Martha told Jesus to send Mary in to help. Jesus said Mary had chosen the important thing! To which Paige sniffed, “Yes. But I’ll bet Jesus was happy to get the good food Martha prepared!” Rev. Mark Westmoreland was the only preacher Paige ever heard preach on that text in a manner that satisfied her; gender-wise and theologically. 

On another matter; I was out with a bad cold five days last week.  Jennifer engaged our wonderful Janet (Paige’s former in-home C.N.A) to pitch in and help with Paige. Jennifer and Katie plied me with chicken soup, rest, tea, and other liquids. Paige and Janet had a glorious time—I wasn’t even missed, I’m sure. My doctor pronounced me “not contagious” this week. Paige said she was glad I took the matter seriously and took care of my health.

With Grace and Gratitude,

 Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, January 17, 2020

 Dear Family and Friends,

Over the weekend, Paige’s coughing and breathing became rather dramatic.  On Saturday night, after a severe coughing spasm, she said, almost like a question, but not panic,  “I think I may die tonight.” I told her I would stay with her overnight, sleeping on the recliner in her room; I did. I had to miss church, but it was worth it.  She seemed pleased, but added, “I shouldn’t have said that.” Although I’m not much “nursing help” I think my being there gave her lots of reassurance. It is a bit unusual for her to make congruent sentences like this. But she was clear as a bell. Now that some days have passed, I am convinced that her statement was prompted by her breathing difficulty. The medical team checked Paige for flu, pneumonia, and wheezing. She was treated for wheezing.  Thankfully, no flu or pneumonia was found. Breathing treatments were ordered for twice daily. We are thankful she dodged the flu and pneumonia bullets.

Some of you, our Family and Friends, already have, or are going through tough circumstances, some more challenging than our Journey. We learn and gain support from each other. Living with and depending upon each other for decades we tend to develop enduring and endearing habits; coming home to share an experience, chatting while preparing a meal, riding in the car, or visiting friends. I see Paige every day and feed her one or more meals; yet it is lonely to have to leave her there and go on with my duties; we can’t go to church together, take road trips, visit friends, and go out for a meal anymore. I’m not complaining—just explaining. It is not something one can prepare for—except to develop a strong faith, strengthen your close friendships, and above all live each day in joy and gratitude.  I like what Cistercian monk and mystic, Bernard of Clairvaux said:

God will either give us what we ask, or
what He knows to be better for us.

This is where our Faith comes in. As Jesus said, only God knows the future (Mark 13:32). Our seminary professor, Jimmy May, often said “Trust God and take courage,”

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, January 24, 2020

Dear Family and Friends,

We are learning from you of challenges, difficulties, and concerns that you also face. Maybe we all are convinced, as is Gerontologist Atul Gawande;

At times, in medicine, you feel you are inside a colossal and impossibly complex machine whose gears will turn for you only according to their own arbitrary rhythm. –

Paige and I are convinced that there is more to life than enduring medical mechanisms. In that vein, we commend to you a marvelous hymn by John Wimber; “The Spirit Song”—it’s in the United Methodist Hymnal (p. 347). As you read the words, let them gently float into your heart, mind, and soul.

Oh let the Son of God enfold you/With His Spirit and His love

Let Him fill your heart and satisfy your soul/Oh let Him have those things that hold you/And His Spirit like a dove/Will descend upon your life and make you whole

Oh come and sing the song of gladness/As your hearts are filled with joy
Lift your hands in sweet surrender to His name/Oh give Him all your tears and sadness/Give Him all your years of pain And you’ll enter into life in Jesus’ name
Jesus oh Jesus/Come and fill Your lambs
Jesus oh Jesus/Come and fill Your lambs.

(John Wimber was a keyboardist and singer in The Righteous Brothers; some of you are not old enough to remember them. John did not grow up in a Faith community, but before he was thirty, he had a dramatic conversion. The hymn speaks from his heart.)

Paige has often said, “I do not know how people cope who do not have faith in God.” We see, day in and day out, how her steadfast faith holds her firmly. One of her favorite hymns is “Because He lives.” When it is sung, tears of joy flow down her cheeks, and in her eyes you can read that confidence. Especially the chorus:

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone:
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

That confidence manifested itself when the doctor gave her the diagnosis of a Parkinsonism, (Cortico basal Ganglionic Degeneration; emphasis mine). Her confidence shines through even now.

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, January 31, 2020

 Dear Family and Friends,

I think we all are justly impressed with Paige’s glorious attitude toward the incursion of this disease. I cannot think of anyone of us who would persevere “through thick and thin” as she does: Mahatma Gandhi said:

Strength does not come from physical capacity.
It comes from an indomitable will.    

That is Paige in a nutshell! Over the years it also got her through a few encounters with Parsonage committees. I think Psalm 62:1-2 spells out the stalwart strength Paige has;

For God alone I patiently wait:
he is the one who delivers me.
He alone is my protector and deliverer.
He is my refuge; I will not be upended.

Paige’s physical strength, however, is virtually nil. Early on, contractions in her body prevented completing her physical therapy; to continue would have been like fitting her into the torture of a Procrustean bed. Therefore, they were discontinued. My heart wanted to see Paige’s body respond positively to physical therapy—even after hearing her neurologist’s portents of degeneration; my head taught me otherwise. Now her body motion is severely confined; even swallowing is often hindered. It is emotionally difficult to accept the degeneration of her body; not too long ago it was lively and functioning normally.

That said, this week the Budd Terrace staff is now in a buzz searching for Paige’s leg brace and hand brace—neither of which she has worn for months. They were discontinued per the doctor’s instructions. Now, a new hand brace was even ordered. Therapy and braces are for correcting limbs etc. Her doctor said the contractures will continue and braces are painful rather than helpful. Physical therapy was discontinued months ago for that very reason; and Medicare only pays for therapy that shows improvement. Alas for medical gyrations.

 ^“Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge. (Psalm 19)

Well, we have the daily uttered speech—we just need knowledge shown!

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, February 7, 2020

Dear Family and Friends,

 Paige lies in that hospital bed in Budd Terrace; I know it is not where she prefers to be. Nor would the surroundings and machinations of the hospital environment be anywhere near her top choices of daily doings. But her acclimation to her present state inspires me; it seems to do so for many of you, our family and friends.  One of the reasons I include positive quotations in the Updates; they help my perspective. From the replies I get, many of you benefit from them as well. Some of you say you pass on certain ones to others who need them.  This passage caught my eye from St. Therese of Lisieux, (known as “The Little Flower of Jesus”);

Perfect love means putting up with other people’s shortcomings,
feeling no surprise at their weaknesses,
finding encouragement
even in the slightest evidence of good qualities in them.

The statement underscores my feeling that Paige has such a perfect love. I think the adversity Paige is undergoing is like fire that purifies gold. Years ago, while Melanie was being treated for ovarian cancer in Jacksonville, FL, I picked up a magazine to read; you do things like that during such anxious times. There was an article on how catastrophic events affect families. In essence a study showed that one of two things usually happens to a family in such times;

 1) The family members go silo, closing into their own shells with the result of family disintegration. Or,

2) The family members reach out to each other, open up their feelings, share the load mutually, and live in and/or through the crisis. The result is these families tend grow closer, stronger and better able to carry on.

Paige and I know that to be true; I’ve mentioned The Holmes and Rae Stress Scale before. It ranks 100 stressful life-events; each stressful life-event is given a rank related to its susceptibility to stress-induced health breakdown. Over the fifty-six years of our marriage, our immediate family has lived through one or more of each one of the top five life-events. (Now. Your homework is to sit down and count those events in the top five–or ten, you too, have lived through.) OK! Good job.  Now, pat yourself on the back, Thank God, and breathe.  You’ve made it.  You’ll make it again!

Melanie survived (next week she turns—ahem, uhhh-well less than 56 years old!) I remember vividly, one-night Paige returned from her prayer time, saying God had assured her “…Melanie will be all right…in this life, or in eternal life.” You see, we’re all in this together, and our strength comes, first of all from God, and from “…so great a cloud of witnesses…” (Hebrews 12:1-3 look it up and read all of it). When you trust God, and you’ve got the Community of Faith pulling with you. What more could you want?

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

Friday, February 14, 2020

Dear Family and Friends,

I am convinced that the strength of one’s faith does not depend on gritting  your teeth, bucking up, and charging full steam ahead; nor is it having a Pollyanna outlook. It is possible to acknowledge difficulty, pain, or problems—even face difficult questions. Nevertheless, one can remain, as my friend Sam Rogers says, “in the Grip of Grace.” Think about it; Jesus wept at the graveside of his friend Lazarus:  He cried out in His own anguish asking that he not have to go to the cross. At the risk of overreaching I, too, ache over the Journey Paige is traveling—which I cannot travel for her. We struggle with it, but her faith remains strong.

One summer I was enrolled at Emory, working on my doctorate. In the class was a pastor from Mississippi. For him this class was also summer vacation with his family, provided by his church. He and his family camped at Stone Mountain while he took the class at Emory. He became frustrated; while on campus, he was torn that he was missing family time camping. While he was camping with his family, he was torn because he had so little time to work on his doctoral studies.

I resonate with him. With Paige at Budd Terrace, I’m out taking care of family business but want to be with her; when I’m staying at Budd Terrace with Paige, I don’t do justice to things at home. In 1971 the band BREAD came out with the song “IF” written by David Gates.  It captures the sentiments of my friend, and me as well.

If a man could be two places at one time
I’d be with you
Tomorrow and today
Beside you all the way.

But bilocation is not possible for us human beings. Therefore, we must make the most of the time we have. It is a lesson I’ve been trying more desperately to learn in recent years. I am, however, learning to “live in the moment.” Paige learned how to do that, early on. I continue to be impressed, –no —astonished at how she rolls with the punches here at Budd Terrace. Her spirit bears me up night and day. Some inspiring words from the movie. Carousel inspire–though they speak of a secular hope, we know that there is for us in eternity, the genuine “Golden Sky;”

At the end of the storm
There’s a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on Through the wind
Walk on Through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown…

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

February 21, 2020

 Dear Family and Friends,

SORRY ‘bout the delay! Squirrels had chewed on our cable—Comcast guy had to climb to the top of the pole and repair said cable!! Finished a little while ago…

Paige’s spiritual journey has always been quiet. She never put her Faith on exhibit; come to think of it, neither did she tout her culinary skills—uhhh she the Queen of Pound Cake!!!—she simply did the work and let it speak for itself.  I think Paige and I can resonate with author, Sue Monk Kidd:

I found that I could not climb my way up to God in a blaze of doing and performing. Rather, I had to descend into the depths of myself and find God there in the darkness of troubled waters.

That said, it follows, as day follows night, that she can assimilate the slings and arrows of this disease and not fret.  When I search the Psalms for counsel on troubling matters, I tend to find resolve; as in Ps. 138 7-8:

Whenever I am in deep trouble,
you make me live again;
you send your power against my enemies’ wrath;
you save me with your strong hand.
The Lord will do all this for my sake.
Your faithful love lasts forever, Lord!
Don’t let go of what your hands
have made. 

I find solace in the process of feeding meals to Paige; although she cannot always tell me which bite of food, she wants next, she does let me know which she didn’t like or want. We turn such mistakes into opportunities for wit; she also likes “one-liners” —sometimes her own or mine.

With apologies to Winston ‘Churchill (or whoever really said it);“When on your journey you travel through Hell, don’t Stop!”

It is great advice; You’ve heard of the old woman whose obituary said, “She enjoyed poor health for years!” Languishing away in a listless spirit only makes things worse. Although Paige doesn’t say so, she refuses to make her home in the hell of this disease— The typical means she chooses for refocusing her mind is watching “Animal Planet” on TV. It is wholesome, educational, and keeps her mind active (and off her circumstances). Sometimes a volunteer may read, to her. We continue our evening devotional time with THE UPPER ROOM. She likes puns, etc. TV also provides excellent pun material and we find other means of laughter, usually at ourselves! And for now, we “Exit Stage Left!”

With Grace and Gratitude,

 Paige and Willis 

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

February 28, 2020

Dear Family and Friends,

One of those ubiquitous TV jewelry ads came on—about diamond rings, and marriage proposals. I turned to Paige and said, “Do you remember we were sitting, leaned against the altar rail in Cherokee Heights Methodist Church when I gave you this engagement ring?” Right away, in one of her now less frequent articulate moments, she said, “You don’t think I would ever forget that! do you!?” I said, “Well, No. I don’t.” I began recounting with her, milestones in our relationship since meeting at GTC (Now Georgia Southern University), meals together, campus worship “Twilight Time” (6:11 p.m. weeknights.”) in groups, Speech lab where she came to me for help with an upcoming speech (she reminds me that it was not her fault that we still did not date!), studying together at Candler School of Theology, Emory U., proposing marriage under glaring parking lot lights at a Macon, GA, Bowling center, Marriage in Adel, GA, on a TUESDAY?! afternoon. (Much to the horror of her mother —“No one ever gets married in Adel on Tuesday!”  She whined). Yet the church was packed—our friends were busy serving churches and couldn’t attend a weekend wedding. After recounting milestones of our journey, I said, “You know? Ours is quite a love story isn’t it!?” She agreed–joyful tears welling up in her eyes.

On each UPdate we sign off saying, “With Grace and Gratitude;” they are not idle words. We feel embraced magnificently in Grace, and daily our hearts fill with gratitude. The words of the prophet underscore our feelings:

He will take care of his flock like a shepherd 
he will gather the lambs together
and carry them in his arms
he will gently lead their mothers.  (Isaiah 40:11 GNT) 

I am grateful for the heritage from our Fathers and mothers of the Faith expressed exquisitely in song and prose, lifting our hearts in joyful praise—especially when we need it most. Maybe it was those words from Isaiah that inspired Cleland B. McAfee to write;

There is a place of quiet rest, Near to the heart of God;
A place where sin cannot molest, Near to the heart of God.
O Jesus, blest Redeemer, Sent from the heart of God; 
Hold us, who wait before Thee, Near to the heart of God.

Shrove Tuesday afternoon (2/25) I stopped at IHOP and got our pancake dinners to celebrate. On Ash Wednesday the chaplain brought the “Imposition of the Ashes” to Paige and me. As the chaplain ended her litany, Paige replied, “And also with you!” It was a holy moment.  Thus, we began the forty days of Lent. Instead of “giving up” something, our goal is to enter more deeply into waiting “…near to the heart of God.” We pray that you, too, will find yourselves waiting there as well.

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis 

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

March 6, 2020

Dear Family and Friends,

Paige doesn’t focus on cheerless ambience which could envelope her at Budd Terrace; there is plenty of opportunity. She simply looks in a different direction. As I indicated last week, instead of “giving up” something for Lent this year, our goal is to enter more deeply into waiting “…near to the heart of God.” Sometimes though the outcome of this waiting seems to be for naught when we do not “feel” the presence of God. Here is Thomas Merton’s take on this matter:

God, Who is everywhere, never leaves us. Yet He seems sometimes to be present, sometimes to be absent. If we do not know Him well, we do not realize that He may be more present to us when He is absent than when He is present.

We are not God’s puppeteer; pull this string and He does that; pull that one and we get this result. We can know God yet cannot understand God. Almost every day, for example, I ask for clarity and/or guidance about the Journey this disease has set us upon; I have no clarity. Trust is all I can do. Paige is not troubled; I can think of at least two reasons she is not troubled:

1) You may remember, when her doctor told her this degenerative disease has no known cure, he said, “How do you feel about this?” Never missing a beat, Paige said, “I’m not worried. I know Whose I am, and I know where I am going.”   

2) The disease has progressed to the point that Paige does not ponder heavy matters; not with the flippant Fiddle-dee-dee of Scarlett O’Hara—Paige simply is disinterested in such matters. She’s not detached; for example, she readily reminds me if my collar is not turned down, or if I’ve cut myself shaving. She notices and chooses what is important to her. Daniel W. Whittle pronounced confidence like Paige’s nearly one hundred and fifty years ago;

I know not what of good or ill
May be reserved for me,
Of weary ways or golden days,
Before His face I see.
…
But “I know Whom I have believed,
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I’ve committed
Unto Him against that day.”

I am grateful simply, that Paige is enduring—no, living through—this Journey in such a great spirit. We have seen, and do see, other folks in similar circumstances who are angry, bitter, depressed, or otherwise disgruntled. About the only thing in life that we can control is our attitude; Paige does this well. She holds the hand of the One who holds her future.  

With Grace and Gratitude,

 Paige and Willis 

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

March 13, 2020

Dear Family and Friends

The Update I prepared for today will have to wait until next week. 

Yesterday I received a call from the Resident Medical Chief at Budd Terrace; due to the current Pandemic the world is dealing with (we are too), all visitors are forbidden by authority to enter the facility; only family members whose member is at the point of death may make a brief visit. 

Of course, Paige is not in that category. I went to Budd Terrace Thursday to deliver a letter from me to Paige (explaining that I cannot visit) I was met with multiple STOP signs—and locked doors. The receptionist on duty recognized me and came when I beckoned to her.  At a distance, I handed her the envelope; it read:  

PAIGE MOORE ROOM # 731
PLEASE read this  to her, since I cannot come visit her.
She cannot hold and read it, so please do it for her
I will send such letters to her as long as BT is closed

So. Now you know.  I will continue to send the UPdates as I can without being redundant. My plan also, is to write a letter to Paige every day, address it to Bud Terrace, and the staff can receive and read it to her. All of you remain in my daily prayers and Please pray that Paige finds the comfort she needs. From the Psalmist:

Because you’ve always stood up for me,
I’m free to run and play.
I hold on to you for dear life,
and you hold me steady as a post.

Psalms 63: 8 (The Message translation)

With Grace and Gratitude,

Paige and Willis 

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

March 20, 2020

Dear Family and Friends

Below is the Update I had prepared to send out last week; but as you know, the COVID-19 crisis hit and stopped the world in its tracks. Now, even the daily letters I planned to send to Paige are not allowed; nothing from the outside can come in except essential personnel and supplies. I was able to make a phone call to Paige. Last week a nurse took a phone to her and put it on speaker phone for a brief visit. So, below is what I had planned to send out before the COVID-19 crisis; I’m still running a week behind with the Updates.

A while back, you may recall, Melanie and Jennifer opened my eyes to a crucial truth; If I don’t take care of my health it is less likely I would be around to care for Paige. It was hard to cut back on my time at Paige’s bedside. Even though the degeneration is taking her away, I still yearned to spend every moment possible with her. The yearning remains. But I’m doing better at pacing myself and taking care of my health.  

Recently, at my medical checkup, I had another epiphany; As my doctor was putting away her iPad, she noticed something in my demeanor, and said, “What!?” I said, “Oh, I don’t know. It’s just hard to see Paige slipping away.” Unlike many doctors, she was paying attention. And took time. “You’re grieving.” She said, “Grief isn’t only after a death. Your grief is subtle, and long term. It could go on for years.” 

“Grieving.” I hadn’t thought of myself as grieving. I’ve read books on grief. I’ve studied the stages of grief; I’ve done grief counselling; all that.  But what she said opened a new door for me. It gave a name to what is going on with me now. It tends to be easier to deal with something scary if it has a name. Melanie dealt with Ovarian Cancer better when it had a name. She wouldn’t let anyone tippy toe around it. She would just out with it! “I have Cancer,” she would announce as she would reporting a recent blood pressure check.  It would immediately clear the air for more casual conversation.

A significant blessing in our Journey is humor; Paige still gets jokes, subtle humor, and my silly puns. Humor softens many of the sharp edges we’re dealing with. Daily doses of humor; sometimes situational, sometimes created, always welcomed.

 With Grace and Gratitude,

 Paige and Willis 

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

March 20, 2020

Dear Family and Friends

Below is the Update I had prepared to send out last week; but as you know, the COVID-19 crisis hit and stopped the world in its tracks. Now, even the daily letters I planned to send to Paige are not allowed; nothing from the outside can come in except essential personnel and supplies. I was able to make a phone call to Paige. Last week a nurse took a phone to her and put it on speaker phone for a brief visit. So, below is what I had planned to send out before the COVID-19 crisis; I’m still running a week behind with the Updates.

A while back, you may recall, Melanie and Jennifer opened my eyes to a crucial truth; If I don’t take care of my health it is less likely I would be around to care for Paige. It was hard to cut back on my time at Paige’s bedside. Even though the degeneration is taking her away, I still yearned to spend every moment possible with her. The yearning remains. But I’m doing better at pacing myself and taking care of my health.  

Recently, at my medical checkup, I had another epiphany; As my doctor was putting away her iPad, she noticed something in my demeanor, and said, “What!?” I said, “Oh, I don’t know. It’s just hard to see Paige slipping away.” Unlike many doctors, she was paying attention. And took time. “You’re grieving.” She said, “Grief isn’t only after a death. Your grief is subtle, and long term. It could go on for years.” 

“Grieving.” I hadn’t thought of myself as grieving. I’ve read books on grief. I’ve studied the stages of grief; I’ve done grief counselling; all that.  But what she said opened a new door for me. It gave a name to what is going on with me now. It tends to be easier to deal with something scary if it has a name. Melanie dealt with Ovarian Cancer better when it had a name. She wouldn’t let anyone tippy toe around it. She would just out with it! “I have Cancer,” she would announce as she would reporting a recent blood pressure check.  It would immediately clear the air for more casual conversation.

A significant blessing in our Journey is humor; Paige still gets jokes, subtle humor, and my silly puns. Humor softens many of the sharp edges we’re dealing with. Daily doses of humor; sometimes situational, sometimes created, always welcomed.

 With Grace and Gratitude,

 Paige and Willis 

P.S. Each day as I read your name on this Blind Copy List (my prayer list), I pray for you and for what I know of your journey; that God will bless you also.

FRIDAY March 27, 2020

Dear Family and Friends

 6:04 a.m.

Very early Thursday morning my dear sweet Paige outran me to Our Father’s House. Hospice staff was with her, so she was not alone when she died. She had no fear of death. As I have told most of you, after diagnosing this degenerative, disease her doctor asked how she felt about it. Without missing a beat Paige said, “I know Whose I am, and I know where I am going. I am not afraid.” The loving arms of our Father have now received her there. The Apostle Paul said:

In my opinion whatever we may have to go through now is less than nothing compared with the magnificent future God has planned for us. The whole creation is on tiptoe to see the wonderful sight of the sons of God coming into their own. The world of creation cannot as yet see reality, not because it chooses to be blind, but because in God’s purpose it has been so limited—yet it has been given hope. And the hope is that in the end the whole of created life will be rescued from the tyranny of change and decay and have its share in that magnificent liberty which can only belong to the children of God!

 It is plain to anyone with eyes to see that at the present time all created life groans in a sort of universal travail. And it is plain, too, that we who have a foretaste of the Spirit are in a state of painful tension, while we wait for that redemption of our bodies which will mean that at last, we have realised our full sonship in him. We were saved by this hope, but in our moments of impatience let us remember that hope always means waiting for something that we haven’t yet got. But if we hope for something we cannot see, then we must settle down to wait for it in patience. (Emphasis Mine)  Romans 8:18-25 J.B. Phillips New Testament

Your and my distresses are different in shape and nature. They affect us differently. However, whether you are stuck in a defective elevator, or your car is stalled in a raging stream, the fears of uncertain future or survival correspond. Paul’s words speak to a Peace that embraces and comforts our fears. My temporal concern was not having been able have conversations with Paige near the end. But I grasp that Hope of which Paul speaks, and which Paige articulated, from the outset of this Journey. That Hope she now has attained.

With Grace and Gratitude,

Willis

April 10, 2020

 Final  Update

 Dear Family and Friends:

In celebration of Paige’s life our pastor, staff, and our family planned a Service of Remembrance in which many participated via YouTube on Tuesday, April 7. If you missed the service, we invite you to access the service at this link. There is also an obituary at Floral Hills Funeral Home.

We are overwhelmed with the warm words of hope, prayer, and affirmation our family has received. Paige touched far more lives than we realized—though we realized it had been many. Our family, as you would understand, is grieving in different ways. However, our grief is mitigated in at least two significant ways:

1) Paige’s faith;  As I’ve told you before, she told her doctor upon being diagnosed that she was not afraid for “I know Whose I am, and I know where I am going. I am not afraid. She kept that spirit to the very end; and

2) For over four years our family has experienced “anticipatory grief,” in that we knew this was a degenerative disease. It is really hard to lose her, but we are comforted knowing she has no more pain and is at Peace.

Near the end of the 1955 movie, “A Man Called Peter” (Peter Marshall’s life and ministry) there is a scene of his having a heart attack at home.  Catherine, his wife, called an ambulance.  As the attendants wheeled Peter out the door, she leaned down close to him on the gurney, and said, “See you in the morning dear.” He died during the night. Her comment was a fitting double entendre. Peter Marshall died during the night. Paige and I often spoke of that scene. As a result, I developed an evening routine; Each night when I left Paige, to go home, I would set her favorite TV channel and tuck her in. Then I would kiss her good night and, going out the door would say, “See you in the morning, Sweetheart.” And we both knew what that meant.

Although this is the final “Update,” Melanie and I are working on something like a Blog, as a means to continue the vein of hope and encouragement we all found in Paige. We will let you know more about this in due time.

 With Grace and Gratitude,

 Willis

Tuesday, April 7, 2020

Service of Remembrance with many participants from the congregation and across the globe via YouTube on Tuesday, April 7. If you missed the service, we invite you to access the service at this link. The Pastoral Staff of Embry Hills United Methodist  Church, Atlanta, GA, led the service: Pastor, Rev. Susan Allen-Grady; Pastor of Congregational Care, Rev Rev. Lee Fullerton; Director of Music, Dottie Hunt; Soloist, Mrs. Victoria Stoddard.

With his written permission, I am including the text of Rev. Lee Fullerton’s Message at the Service of Remembrance for Paige. It is a most fitting close to this Journey,

Paige Moore – A Memorial Witness

In our United Methodist liturgy for any service of death and resurrection, there is a moment called “Witness,” in which we may voice our thankfulness to God for the grace received in the life of the deceased. Susan has graciously invited me to share my moment of witness.

I don’t need to tell anyone who knew Paige well that she was a force to be reckoned with; a woman who had a well-honed sense of propriety and order; a sense of personal and professional decorum. Willis, you and I have tried to use our pastoral authority for good, for the ordering and maintenance of the church. But we have been rank amateurs when compared to Paige’s exercise of personal authority as a wife, mother, grandmother, teacher, even as a church volunteer. She spoke in the same voice that God must have used when Moses asked God for a name to give him credibility with the Hebrew people; and God answered, “Tell them “I am who I am’ sent you.”  You know, soft and gracious with a bit of Morgan Freeman.

Paige was one of a vanishing breed, a southern woman with deep roots in South Georgia, a woman whose blue eyes and big smile radiated sweetness and affirmation, love and grace, whose soft dialect was both hospitable and charming. But the softness of her features and the gentility of her manner could belie a toughness and ferocity that, I’m sure, took some people by surprise. You did not want to get crossed up with Paige. She could be a warrior for any cause she embraced. Her priority causes were family and the church. I remember the Christmas after I retired, we came to the UMW banquet and Paige was invited to the microphone for something. I was shocked to see how difficult it was for her to walk that short distance. Her illness was beginning its March to the Sea then and it had not yet been diagnosed. She walked slowly, painfully it seemed, to the front of the room, and in that beautiful lilting voice, she spoke with Paige authority about the work of the UMW. Whatever Paige committed to, she was in for the duration.

Willis journaled, “One thing to know about Paige D. Moore; do NOT tell her it cannot be done. I learned it years ago when she said, ‘We need a stone wall around your parking space.’  Said I, ‘It cannot be done. There is no budget to pay someone to build it, only enough for supplies; and I don’t know how.’ She and I built the stone wall that summer—and it was just what she wanted.”

Even though Willis thought they were just friends back when they saw each other on the Georgia Teachers’ College campus, I suspect that Paige committed early on to that young, green, wannabe preacher and stuck with him fifty-seven years.

Now I know that it takes a special kind of person to commit to anyone or anything to that extent. It takes a person of faith and she was that to her core. She accepted her diagnosis four years ago not as the debilitating slog to death that it became but as one more of those hurdles that life throws at you; and she asked her Lord Jesus, “Help me make it through this night.” She leaned into her treatment with heart and soul and Willis has beautifully chronicled that journey in his weekly updates. She struggled, all of the Moore family struggled, and following Paige’s example, we kept ourselves open to the power of God that carries our life in every moment. The theologian Paul Tillich says that living in the grace and power of God fills us with silent gratefulness. And Paige was grateful, but she wasn’t always silent about it. Her thanksgiving witness shone even through the pain and disability.

Admittedly, I wondered to myself, ”What’s the point? She’s not going to be healed of this nasty illness.” So, I blessed the oil and made the sign of the cross on her forehead. And prayed for healing in the name of God, Son, and Holy Spirit. And I don’t know what was going on in that moment, but something powerful happened. I realized that Paige was fine. Her face was tranquil. She was ready and willing to die. I was the one who felt inadequate to the task, doubting my own agency as a shepherd, angry that she was stricken. It was then that I felt a calm, a kind of peace, even assuredness. And then I realized that I was the one who was healed. Doubts, anxiety, faulty theology.

Willis wrote eloquently of their daily leave taking at Wesley Woods. When Willis left Paige’s room each night, they said to each other, “See you in the morning;” recalling that those were Catherine Marshall’s final words to Peter just before they wheeled him out the front door on a stretcher and she never saw him alive again. Willis, you and Paige knew the score. And when you said, “See you in the morning,” to her one last time, you knew that her time was short. I hope that this service helps you to “see Paige in that new morning,” in that Christ light shining on what the Apostle Paul described as the “transformed” Paige, no more struggle, pain, confinement, no more aphasia. Paige has been healed and in time you will be healed. You wrote in September 2019: “I continue to be deeply grateful that Paige keeps a strong sense of Immanuel (God with us.) She does not fret over endings.” Maybe we should follow her model of faith.

Almost a year ago to the day, you wrote about a conversation you and Paige had (4-19-19) about the Wednesday night dances in the old Gym at Georgia Teachers College. That conversation reminded you, Willis, of the lyrics to an old Anne Murray song: “Could I have this dance for the rest of my life, Could you be my partner every night, when we’re together it feels so right, Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

You thought it was an apt description of your and Paige’s love for each other. You wrote that you never actually danced together except that you did. Maybe not your feet and legs but your hearts danced the dance of life and love, the dance Jesus invited his Twelve and all the rest of us to dance with him: a dance of joy and hope, a dance of praise and thanksgiving in the middle of a devastating illness. And Paige is dancing on. Godspeed and blessings on your journey.

Prayer: Pastor of Congregational Care, Rev. Lee Fullerton

Almighty God, into your hands we commend your daughter, Paige, in sure and certain hope of resurrection to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Benediction: Lee

May the Lord bless you and keep you;
may the Lord make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious unto you;
may the Lord lift up his countenance upon you,
and give you peace.  Amen.              (Numbers 6:22-24)

Paige’s Ethical Will

I, Paige Moore, being of sound mind, desire to leave to generations to come, my Ethical Will. I desire you, my reader, to know that…

…The love of my life, Willis Moore, my partner in marriage, attracted to each other since Georgia Teachers College days, find one lifetime not long enough.

…God’s gift of teaching to me was intended to serve Him in mission,

…The precious children of my youth, my legacy, are the pride of my latter years.

…My devotion to my church is the evidence of my faith.

…The cultivation of friends bears witness to His words: “As you have done it to the least of these you have done it unto me.”

…My present suffering is small cost to see my Master face-to-face.

…The children of my children, my grandchildren, are my true inheritance.

…My treasure, above all things, is Jesus my Lord and Savior.

…When I leave this life, I take nothing with me.  What I leave behind is of no monetary value. My legacy is the life I have poured into others, following my Master’s admonition.  I have done it to the least of these, there by doing it unto Him.

Spoken by Paige Moore on this 20^th day of August 1918 and recorded by Willis Moore.

©Copyright Willis H. Moore 2022